# Calling all Wives! Opinions requested! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2008, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662 "2008-01-31T01:32:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/21 "2008-01-31T18:00:37Z")
I filled it out too. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/22 "2008-01-31T18:58:50Z")
filled out. God, I had no idea I felt that way. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/23 "2008-01-31T19:19:08Z")
I did it, too. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/24 "2008-01-31T19:39:51Z")
Moi, aussi! šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/25 "2008-01-31T19:50:34Z")
For those of us who are not wives nor intend to change that situation, what were some of the questions? ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/26 "2008-01-31T21:33:17Z")
Stuff like: what do you complain most about being a wife? What do you like about being a wife? How many times have you been married? Do you have kids? Do you - suffer, tolerate, enjoy, canā€™t live without - your husband. Lots of multiple choice along those lines. Age group. Do you think youā€™re a good mother, scale of 1-10. Why did you pick that choice? Howā€™s your sex life? Stuff like that. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/27 "2008-01-31T21:44:28Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] For those of us who are not wives nor intend to change that situation, what were some of the questions? [/QUOTE] You can follow the link and read the questions without filling them out. Being a guy, I didnā€™t take the survey, but I thought they were asking good questions, by and large. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/28 "2008-01-31T22:58:01Z")
I filled it out. I feel a lot like **Faruiza** , Iā€™m so happy in my relationship that I love sharing about it. I really do have to work at keeping my mouth shut around newlyweds because I want to spout all sorts of advice that most likely has no bearing on their relationship. ---
**Author:** ![wife\_research](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wife\_research](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wife_research)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/29 "2008-01-31T23:01:27Z")
Anyone in a long-term relationship can participate. You donā€™t have to be formally married. Wife researcher ---
**Author:** ![wife\_research](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wife\_research](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wife_research)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/30 "2008-01-31T23:02:34Z")
Weā€™ve had a few lesbians fill out the survey and more than a handful of wives who were in love with other women. wife researcher ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/31 "2008-01-31T23:06:11Z")
I filled it out this morning and signed up for updates, and got an interesting email back asking for more detail about one of the questions, so I sent a bit of a ramble back in return. Hope some of it is useful! ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/32 "2008-01-31T23:41:30Z")
Done! I always think these kinds of things are cool. I look forward to hearing the results. I found myself torn with the ā€œHow do you feel about your husbandā€ question. I love him, and canā€™t imagine my life without him (and donā€™t WANT to imagine my life without him), but I canā€™t say ā€œI canā€™t live without him,ā€ becauseā€¦well, I _would live_, it would just suck. It would sound like Iā€™m dependent on him for my survival. Still, I understood the typical meaning assigned the phraseā€¦and you know, Iā€™m not sure I remember what my exact response was to that one. One of those two. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/33 "2008-02-01T00:19:53Z")
[QUOTE=Ruffian] Done! I always think these kinds of things are cool. I look forward to hearing the results. I found myself torn with the ā€œHow do you feel about your husbandā€ question. I love him, and canā€™t imagine my life without him (and donā€™t WANT to imagine my life without him), but I canā€™t say ā€œI canā€™t live without him,ā€ becauseā€¦well, I _would live_, it would just suck. It would sound like Iā€™m dependent on him for my survival. Still, I understood the typical meaning assigned the phraseā€¦and you know, Iā€™m not sure I remember what my exact response was to that one. One of those two. [/QUOTE] Yeah, me too. I mean, I love my husband a lot, but I wouldnā€™t _die_ without him, Iā€™d just be very very sad. So I did the same thing. And I sent an email ramble too; the question they were asking about hadnā€™t made a lot of sense to me in the first place, so I was interested to see what they meant by it. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/34 "2008-02-01T01:13:19Z")
Submitted. Although I wish I hadnā€™t now. I donā€™t think my responses (I didnā€™t fill out any explanations either) are indicative of my true feelings about my marriage, but more a product of depression. In the past, I have been very confident about my marriage and thought I had one of the best. I actually rated my husband much higher than myself, although I seem to be relatively indifferent about my marriage these days. That tells me that no matter how good you have it, depression just sours life experiences. ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/35 "2008-02-01T02:35:52Z")
In case anyone was wondering, Wife Research is my friend doing the study so feel free to ask questions. She is very happy with the wide variety of resposes so far. I think itā€™s cool to see others who found themselves giving more thought to their relationship after taking the survey. I know I did. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/36 "2008-02-01T05:25:44Z")
I answered, but I thought many of the questions were phrased very strangely. ā€œIf you had the opportunity, do you think you would ever cheat on your spouse?ā€ Soā€¦cheating is merely a matter of opportunity? In the context of this survey, I think I would have asked, ā€œHave you ever considered cheating on your spouse?ā€ But it would be even less finger-wagging to ask, ā€œHave you ever been, or thought about being, physically or emotionally involved with someone outside your marriage?ā€ ā€œDo you have a secret in your closet that your husband can never find out about?ā€ My interpretation was, ā€œDo you have a secret youā€™ve hidden so well that your husband can never discover it?ā€ The question that followed made it clear my interpretation was not correct. I think I would have phrased the question ā€œIs there anything youā€™ve kept from your husband out of concern for what would happen if he found out?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/37 "2008-02-01T12:16:36Z")
**freckafree** , you bring up a good point. Iā€™ve always had issues with polls and profiles tat are either too yes/no or weighted to one end of the scale. I didnā€™t find that so much with this one but Iā€™m sure your comments will be helpful and taken in to consideration. ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/38 "2008-02-01T13:44:33Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] I answered, but I thought many of the questions were phrased very strangely. ā€œIf you had the opportunity, do you think you would ever cheat on your spouse?ā€ Soā€¦cheating is merely a matter of opportunity? [/quote] I thought this was odd, too. I have every faith that I could certainly \*make \*opportunity if I wantedā€¦ but the fact is that I love my husband and I just wouldnā€™t betray him like that! We have very little control over where our emotional attachments form, but I refuse to believe we donā€™t have any control over what we do about those attachments. Being attracted to another man isnā€™t cheating. Having the \*opportunity \*to flirt with that man isnā€™t cheating. Acting on it? _Thatā€™s_ cheating. YMMV, of course. Iā€™m not naturally flirty (though Iā€™m playful) so flirting automatically goes hand-in-hand with intent for me. I know plenty of girls who flirt quite innocently; their margin for where ā€˜cheatingā€™ comes in is quite different to mine, as it should be. ETA: I also had some trouble with the ā€˜how would you rate yourself as a wifeā€™ bit. As far as traditional wives go, I suck. Iā€™d admit that. If the question were phrased more like ā€˜How well do you think you meet your husbandā€™s requirements as a life partnerā€™, Iā€™d do a \*lot \*better. He doesnā€™t want a stereotypical wife. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/39 "2008-02-01T14:09:46Z")
[QUOTE=freckafree] In the context of this survey, I think I would have asked, ā€œHave you ever considered cheating on your spouse?ā€ But it would be even less finger-wagging to ask, ā€œHave you ever been, or thought about being, physically or emotionally involved with someone outside your marriage?ā€ [/QUOTE] Ah, see, and I was very pleased with the way they worded it, because it takes individual marriage contracts into account. No, I would never and have never ā€œcheatedā€ on my husband - _as he and I define cheating_. Iā€™ve been physically and emotionally involved with people outside of my marriage, but since weā€™ve agreed thatā€™s okay and even desirable, I donā€™t (and he doesnā€™t) consider that ā€œcheatingā€. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662/40 "2008-02-01T14:11:31Z")
Iā€™m not marriedā€¦ or even female, I just came here to say two things. First, I clicked on that link and watched the pictures of those women scroll through out twice. Those women are beautiful. That one in the red top, hot! I needs to get me one of those, er what you call em, wives! Also I just wanted to let **Brown Eyed Girl** know that I was hoping she was having a better day. Turn on your PMā€™s, I was gonna send you one. šŸ™‚ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-all-wives-opinions-requested/435662.md?page=3)