# Calling 'em as you see 'em is not telling it like it is. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906 "2010-07-07T22:25:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/1 "2010-07-07T22:25:50Z")
And I wish we’d stop using both expressions to mean the same thing. Frankness and candor are valuable traits for a person to have, but where is it written that bluntness is truth? It’s a style and a choice in communicating, just like tact. Sometimes one works, sometimes the other. If either one goes out of fashion I think we suffer for it. I’ll go ahead and be partisan and blame conservatives and their fetish for tough-love. Their logical conclusion is that all concern for others, above a very basic level, is coddling. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/2 "2010-07-08T06:12:49Z")
Agreed. “I’m just telling the truth” is not an excuse for being an arsehole. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/3 "2010-07-08T06:24:37Z")
Oh, but increasingly, yes, it is. Tough-mindedness is performative: it’s more respected to be an asshole than to have integrity. ---
**Author:** ![StrangeBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@StrangeBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangeBird)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/4 "2010-07-08T08:57:23Z")
“I’m just telling it like it is…” No, you’re telling it like you \*think \*it is. People who consistently state their opinions as facts really irk me, and this often seems to be a trait shown by people who prize themselves on being ‘straight talkers’. I think some of these people _don’t_ quite realise that just because they think something doesn’t make it true. Because allowing that different people have different opinions is a sign of weakness! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/5 "2010-07-08T09:29:24Z")
> [@StrangeBird](#): > > “I’m just telling it like it is…” > > No, you’re telling it like you \*think \*it is. When someone says to someone else “You’re an idiot” do you think to yourself “No, you only _think_ he’s an idiot! You shouldn’t be making a statement of fact about your opinion!”? ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/6 "2010-07-08T10:04:50Z")
Ok, I understand the sentiment that bluntness isn’t the same as honestly. But I fail to see any difference between the two expressions in the title. Afaik they both refer to bluntness. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/7 "2010-07-08T10:55:26Z")
Actually they don’t, not that I can get particularly worked up about it. The former means “saying what I think” and the latter means “saying what is true”, and while there’s certainly some overlap there, they’re not the same thing. When a paranoid schizophrenic calls it as he sees it, is he actually telling it like it is? ---
**Author:** ![StrangeBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@StrangeBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangeBird)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/8 "2010-07-08T11:14:31Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > When someone says to someone else “You’re an idiot” do you think to yourself “No, you only _think_ he’s an idiot! You shouldn’t be making a statement of fact about your opinion!”? Yes, yes I do. Of course, “You shouldn’t be making a statement of fact about your opinion” is also an absolute statement, which I then have to remind myself is not allowed, leading to me being stuck in an infinite loop. 😉 Or possibly, I don’t expect people to say “Warning: Opinion” before stating their opinion, but do get annoyed by people who are seem like they don’t understand that other people’s opinions may also be valid. ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/9 "2010-07-08T11:18:14Z")
Oh, that’s a reaaaally nitpicky difference. I don’t think that’s the difference the OP is alluding to. It’s pretty much understoothat “saying what is true” means “saying what I perceive to be the truth” ie, “what I think”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/10 "2010-07-08T12:12:58Z")
I actually think the two expressions have different meanings. If someone says that they’re “just callin’ it how they see it”, they’re trying to assert that their stance has legitimacy simply because they’re entitled to their opinion. So, for example, someone might say that England’s goal against Germany was officiated properly and that that’s “just how they see it”. The idea here is that they’re entitled to their opinion–even though they’re not, because they’re objectively wrong. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/11 "2010-07-08T12:57:21Z")
“Calling 'em as you see 'em” and “telling it like it is” are just excuses for people to justify being an asshole. No one cares how you “see 'em” or how you think it “is”. I’m just sayin’… ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/12 "2010-07-08T15:31:53Z")
> [@StrangeBird](#): > > Or possibly, I don’t expect people to say “Warning: Opinion” before stating their opinion, but do get annoyed by people who are seem like they don’t understand that other people’s opinions may also be valid. I agree with this for the most part. I don’t need people to say IMHO before their statement. Of course it’s your opinon who else would be writing it 🙂 But people have to realize not all opinions are valid. I can say the Earth is flat or the sky is green and argue the point, but I’m not ever gonna produce a valid point. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/13 "2010-07-08T17:56:13Z")
Those who equate their opinion with fact exemplify the “wrong” side of the [Dunning-Kruger](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect) effect. Any opportunity to refer to the Dunning-Kruger effect, I take. Knowing there’s a name for it helps preserve my sanity at work. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/14 "2010-07-08T18:07:44Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > “Calling 'em as you see 'em” and “telling it like it is” are just excuses for people to justify being an asshole. No one cares how you “see 'em” or how you think it “is”. > > I’m just sayin’… But there are always people in whom the asshole arouses a certain smug sycophancy. They become his amen corner, his dittoheads. They draw validation from submitting to his assholicity: it makes them feel that they’re (a) protected because they’re kissing up to the bully, and (b) strong clear thinkers by association with the caller-as-seer. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/15 "2010-07-08T18:17:13Z")
IMO “calling you as you see em” IS slightly different than “telling it like it is”. There is a subtle difference there. Boss: Lets cover our computers with purple fur. They will sell like hotcakes! Me: Thats stupid. I don’t think anybody will buy something so hideous, but hey “I just call em like I see em” Boss: We need to save money, so I am cancelling everyones accrued vacation time. Me: Boss, that illegal! Boss: Your being a trouble maker arent you? Me: Hey, I am just telling it like it is. Now, thats not to say most people do understand the difference and for sure many of em just use both as an excuse to be opinionate jerks rather than sophisticated commentators like myself. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/16 "2010-07-08T18:34:23Z")
Generalizations can be dangerous. Providing someone honest critical feedback could be considered “calling it like you see it” or “just telling it like it is”. **Those are two very ambiguous phrases that could mean a whole spectrum of things, from being an asshole to giving genuine honest feedback.** Being an asshole to someone is never appropriate, but giving someone honest critical feedback that might stop them from doing something that would cost them time, money, relationships, etc. is appropriate. If I was about to do something that was going to kill me, I would hope a friend would be kind enough to “tell me like it is”, “call it like he sees it”, or whatever, if it saved my life. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/17 "2010-07-08T19:43:09Z")
You’re only allowed to “calls 'em as you sees 'em” if you’re a whale biologist. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-em-as-you-see-em-is-not-telling-it-like-it-is/545906/18 "2010-07-08T19:47:12Z")
IME, most people that say that they “call em as they see em” really do think that they’re “telling it like it is”, and good luck trying to convince them otherwise- they are know-it-alls.