# Calling people by the name on their name tag. Do you do it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193 "2013-02-13T17:08:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/61 "2013-02-13T21:55:49Z")
I asked this (w/o the poll) awhile back. I tend to only do it at my Shaws. (only time I really notice names) ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/62 "2013-02-13T21:58:47Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > **Permensoe** you seem to be implying that the wearing of the name tag is a voluntary act by the employee when it most often is not. > [@Cyros](#): > > Except that in almost every case it is not a matter of me deciding to put this wonderful little piece of plastic on, it is the decision of a manager or business owner that I work for. Congruent with taking you for a human being and assigning you the dignity thereof, I’m going to assume that you are not a slave or an imbecile. You are working this job of your own volition, and if you differed with your employer on how you ought to present yourself, you will have resolved the matter before I see you. Perhaps that’s not all _exactly_ true, but I’d rather give you the benefit of the doubt. Naturally, were it I who was on the job and wearing my name stitched on my jersey, as I once did, I would appreciate the same respect. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/63 "2013-02-13T21:59:47Z")
Management’s desire to foster an unequal, un-called for, socially out of place familiarity between the customer and employee is considerably more dehumanizing, to me, than a fairly reasonable desire to provide a “tag” for compaints. Not that it rises to the level of unpaid overtime or unsafe conditions, but still. ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/64 "2013-02-13T22:01:20Z")
I understand that, since my name is right there on my nametag, people will sometimes use it. I don’t have to like it, though! Once, I was ordering at Starbucks and gave my usually cafe pseudonym, which is Stella (or sometimes Zelda). The register operator wrote Stella on my cup, and, glancing wryly at the nametag I forgot I had on, sent me off with a cheery, “have a good day, **Araminty**!” Oops. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/65 "2013-02-13T22:04:18Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > Sure, but the rules of society limit the scope of that interaction. I can’t, for instance, say, “Hey Jim, thanks for helping me with this TV. Say, do you have a girlfriend?” That question crosses the line from “normal conversation with a stranger” to “overly familiar.” It’s creepy. The fact that your business transaction has caused you to interact doesn’t give you free reign to talk to him like you would a friend or colleague. I agree. > [@steronz](#): > > Or to use your eavesdropping example, let’s say you’re shopping in a store that doesn’t issue nametags, but you happen to hear one coworker call the other one Jim. Would you be in the clear to go up and call him Jim? Of course not, that’s creepy. I agree. In this case, Jim has _not_ introduced himself. > [@steronz](#): > > So the only real question is “Does the mere presence of a nametag negate this existing rule concerning overly-familiar communication.” I’d argue that it doesn’t… I’m not saying that any rule is negated. Quite the contrary. I’m saying that wearing a name tag, in the context of a business interaction, _is_ introducing yourself to customers. Once you’ve done that, if a moment arises at which it would be appropriate for them to address you, it would be weird on both your parts to pretend that you have not done so. ---
**Author:** ![Tamarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tamarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamarin)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/66 "2013-02-13T22:11:15Z")
I used to work at a retail store that required name tags for all employees. If you forgot your name tag you had to borrow one of the fake spares that were printed with the names “Norma” and “Norman.” I worked at the customer service desk and often received the complaint/complement forms from people. I always enjoyed seeing them come in and reading things like “Your employee NORMA in the toy department was very unhelpful/wonderful/whatever” That Norma. What a character. 😃 And no. I never use the name on someone’s name tag because I never liked it when people used my name when I wore a name tag. Also, as a cashier I never used a person’s name that I’d gotten from their credit card or check although the management tried to tell us that it was “friendly” to do that. Creepy and over-familiar. I don’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/67 "2013-02-13T22:12:28Z")
> [@](#): > > I usually thank the grocery checker or bag person by name but don’t make a big deal out of it, just “Thanks, Jim”. They seem to kind of light up just a bit and appreciate the sentiment. > > It’s the same with the cafeteria ladies here at work. I say hello to them all by name every morning and not only do they seem to appreciate it, some have looked back at my security badge so they can call me by name too. You do understand I hope, that they don’t have any choice but to present that reaction, right? Because that female bartender who is so warm to you, doesn’t really fancy you, either. She’s just doing her job. No matters what she really thinks of you, it’s her job to manifest the corporate view. And only that. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/68 "2013-02-13T22:32:04Z")
This thread has the potential to be as rage-filled, and pointless, as the movie seating thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/69 "2013-02-13T22:34:37Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Congruent with taking you for a human being and assigning you the dignity thereof, I’m going to assume that you are not a slave or an imbecile. You are working this job of your own volition, and if you differed with your employer on how you ought to present yourself, you will have resolved the matter before I see you. > > Perhaps that’s not all _exactly_ true, but I’d rather give you the benefit of the doubt. Naturally, were it I who was on the job and wearing my name stitched on my jersey, as I once did, I would appreciate the same respect. Yes, I’ve decided that a steady pay cheque is worth the hassle of putting up with various idiocies of customers including, but not limited to, feeling that a name tag is permission to deal with me in a more familiar fashion than I may wish. Again, as stated in my first post, it is a minor thing but it is an annoyance. ---
**Author:** ![HillKat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/838e76/32.png) [@HillKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HillKat)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/70 "2013-02-13T22:37:29Z")
We’ve been going to the same juice store for 5 or 6 years, 4 or 5 days a week. We have always called the young people people who serve us by their names, taken either from their name tags or interaction between them. None have ever seemed to take offense and we often engage in chit-chat with them when it is not busy. I always say good-bye to each employee, by name, as we leave. I would hate to think we have been rude or made these individuals uncomfortable all these years, is that truly the case here? Thanks, HillKat ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/71 "2013-02-13T22:44:16Z")
No, after years of going to the place, you are a regular and it is perfectly normal for you to know their names. That’s not what I think they mean, so much as like your first interaction with someone. ---
**Author:** ![HillKat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/838e76/32.png) [@HillKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HillKat)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/72 "2013-02-13T23:10:26Z")
Thank you **elbows**. I appreciate your response. Does that hold true even given the normal turn-over in staff at a food service restaurant or should I introduce myself to the newbies as they arrive and allow them the option of giving me their name in return? This thread has made me nervous that we are being offensive to people we genuinely enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/73 "2013-02-14T00:14:01Z")
Don’t worry about it **Hillkat** - Dopers are a testy bunch who love to argue over minor points of protocol and manners, taking [great umbrage](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=679213) if their POV isn’t universally conceded as correct, even if ([especially if!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15981200&postcount=45)) the actions of one poster has absolutely no bearing on their day-to-day life. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kalea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b487fb/32.png) [@Kalea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalea)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/74 "2013-02-14T00:28:08Z")
**HillKat** : I think that they’ll learn it over time - you don’t need to introduce yourself. It’s one more thing to remember when they’re still figuring out where they keep the carrots in the walk in and how many ounces are in a medium. For the OP, I found it annoying and overly familiar when I was working retail and people would read my name tag to call me by name. I chalked it up to me being generally a private person. I had to wear the tag if I wanted to get paid, so I put up with it. Because I didn’t like it, I don’t call name tag-wearers by name unless invited to do so. “Hi, I’m John, I’ll be your server” is often dictated by the employer too, so I consider it the equivalent of a name tag and only use their name when absolutely necessary. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/75 "2013-02-14T01:07:13Z")
> [@araminty](#): > > I understand that, since my name is right there on my nametag, people will sometimes use it. I don’t have to like it, though! > > Once, I was ordering at Starbucks and gave my usually cafe pseudonym, which is Stella (or sometimes Zelda). The register operator wrote Stella on my cup, and, glancing wryly at the nametag I forgot I had on, sent me off with a cheery, “have a good day, **Araminty**!” Oops. Oh, do I loathe that practice at Starbucks (or any business, really). It must be a corporate thing, as mine tries it about twice a year after a visit from some bigwigs, then it dies after a couple of days when they accept that the customers clearly do not like it. I did some time with a nametag, but even in my younger days I wasn’t fond of over-familiarity and it read E Brown. I tend to go with surnames anyway, even with female friends. I called my best friend by her last name for years, and only switched to her first name after she married, as her husband was quite cranky about hearing her old surname and I could see switching to her new one. She still rolls her eyes at hearing her first name from me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/76 "2013-02-14T01:27:02Z")
I don’t use their names but my dad nearly always does. I always think it’s amusing and am thinking about growing a pair of balls big enough to feel comfortable doing it, but so far, no luck down there. I do _think_ about it and one of these days when I just don’t have any more fucks to give, I’m going to address a clerk by the name on their tag and then I really will become just like my father. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/77 "2013-02-14T01:32:49Z")
You know, these types of threads are very interesting to me. It’s the kind of insight into the minds of people that you never, ever would have been privileged to a mere couple of decades ago, unless you were a psychology student running a university experiment or something. 1. I can’t believe that people who work in the public arena and wear a name tag would be offended for being called by their own name! 2. I can’t believe that people who interact with these employees would think it was rude to use a name that was prominently displayed, and in my opinion, for this very reason. No one is right or wrong here obviously, but it is an interesting view into peoples’ personal space and thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/78 "2013-02-14T01:56:49Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > 1. I can’t believe that people who work in the public arena and wear a name tag would be offended for being called by their own name! > 2. I can’t believe that people who interact with these employees would think it was rude to use a name that was prominently displayed, and in my opinion, for this very reason. > > No one is right or wrong here obviously, but it is an interesting view into peoples’ personal space and thoughts. Well, as has been pointed out, employers typically force the employee to do it. Given that it’s not voluntary, it shouldn’t be a surprise its use isn’t welcome. In my case, it wasn’t something to go to war over, just one of the unpleasant sides of work. You put up with it. Heck, even Jeeves didn’t have to go by Charlie all the time, and that was Edwardian England. I tend to work with the Golden Rule - I didn’t like it, so I don’t throw someone else’s first name around just because it’s displayed. When businesses ask for mine to let me know my coffee’s ready or my pizza’s done, I give my surname. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/79 "2013-02-14T02:04:28Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > No one is right or wrong here obviously, but it is an interesting view into peoples’ personal space and thoughts. On one hand it’s true, there’s no right or wrong here. On the other hand, the poll results have to mean something, no? I know it’s a small sample size, but a healthy majority of name tag wearers don’t want you to call them by name. Knowing that, are you going to keep doing it? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193/80 "2013-02-14T02:14:36Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > On one hand it’s true, there’s no right or wrong here. On the other hand, the poll results have to mean something, no? I know it’s a small sample size, but a healthy majority of name tag wearers don’t want you to call them by name. Knowing that, are you going to keep doing it? Yes. - I live in a different country from the majority of responders and I think there might be a cultural element involved. - Conducting a separate cultural poll is not in my interests. - I’m only talking about a casual name usage related to service, and not a creepy stalking-like usage for no apparent reason. - I like to talk and interact with people. I think they get enough bullshit in their jobs and and a friendly customer who chats with them and uses their name is probably a good thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-people-by-the-name-on-their-name-tag-do-you-do-it/650193.md?page=5)