# Calling the cops on your child. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871 "2010-07-07T15:59:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/221 "2010-07-10T20:57:02Z")
A better course of action would have been to tell the kid that his behavior is completely intolerable and that if as much as a single joint is found in the house again, the cops will be called on him and his friends. Then have all his privileges suspended for a month. No access to the car. No cell phone. No going to hangout on the weekend. No having friends over. No privacy. Remove the door from his bedroom. Tell him his room will be subject to ad hoc searches. Make him wash all the dinner dishes. His failure to comply will result in the extension of his punishment by another week. Threatening to take him out of the school he’s in if his grades don’t improve may not also be a bad idea. Wasting taxpayer money on punishing a rebellious teenager should be the last resort. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/222 "2010-07-10T21:10:35Z")
So what ended up happening with the family in the OP? parents split up? kid in jail? ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/223 "2010-07-10T22:11:11Z")
I can’t fault the Dad but it’s probably not the way I would have handled it. Again, hard to say without more info. I also grew up where violence was a lot more common. I kinda go by the ‘no harm no foul rule’ personally but don’t think that is for everyone or even necessarily a great rule. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/224 "2010-07-10T23:01:55Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The pot’s not the problem, regardless. The law is. That’s why I refuse to have anything to do with enforcing it. > > Causing problems with cops and dealers can both be avoided by not calling the cops, and not preventing the kid from being able to make his nut for his supplier. It is possible, you know, to oppose a law while realizing that the consequences of flagrantly violating it can be severe and long-lasting. I believe (voluntary) prostitution is a largely victimless crime, but I wouldn’t encourage my daughter to become a teenage streetwalker. It may threaten your “cool dad” credentials to point out that dealing pot is an extremely risky behavior, but your cool status will be cold comfort when your kid’s getting his ass pounded in prison or killed in a deal gone wrong. ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/225 "2010-07-10T23:08:36Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > It may threaten your “cool dad” credentials to point out that dealing pot is an extremely risky behavior, but your cool status will be cold comfort when your kid’s getting his ass pounded in prison or killed in a deal gone wrong. And in a twist of “good parenting” that Orwell would appreciate, the best, indeed the only, way to prevent your kid from going to prison is to call 911 and send out a posse of cops to look for him while he is carrying drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/226 "2010-07-10T23:30:31Z")
> [@not\_alice](#): > > And in a twist of “good parenting” that Orwell would appreciate, the best, indeed the only, way to prevent your kid from going to prison is to call 911 and send out a posse of cops to look for him while he is carrying drugs. Really? The police guarantee not to charge him with anything if it’s a parent who calls them? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/227 "2010-07-10T23:35:42Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I think the shoving could well have been a panic reaction to the thought of losing his suppliers’ weed. I smoked pot for 25 years, ending about 7 years ago. In all that time I never knew ONE person who got pot on consignment, or with payment due later. It was all a cash-up-front operation. Getting drugs up front and then owing a supplier from the proceeds is a Hollywood Fantasy. More than likely, it was “I put up a fuckload of money for this and I’m not letting dad (who I don’t respect) throw it away” ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/228 "2010-07-10T23:36:02Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > Really? The police guarantee not to charge him with anything if it’s a parent who calls them? I think you missed the sarcasm in my post 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/229 "2010-07-11T00:41:04Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Getting drugs up front and then owing a supplier from the proceeds is a Hollywood Fantasy. Without getting into messy details. No. It’s Not. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/230 "2010-07-11T00:41:12Z")
Personally, I have absolutely no problems with pot. However, I do have a problem with stupid kids who think its ok to physically assault people and run away. I side with dad here. If the kid didn’t attack him and run away, I would argue for leniency, but because of what the kid did, I say a night in jail would be good for him ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/231 "2010-07-11T00:48:19Z")
> [@not\_alice](#): > > I think you missed the sarcasm in my post 🙂 Ah, good. This is one of the threads where it’s hard to tell. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/232 "2010-07-11T01:14:47Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > A better course of action would have been to tell the kid that his behavior is completely intolerable and that if as much as a single joint is found in the house again, the cops will be called on him and his friends. Then have all his privileges suspended for a month. No access to the car. No cell phone. No going to hangout on the weekend. No having friends over. No privacy. Remove the door from his bedroom. Tell him his room will be subject to ad hoc searches. Make him wash all the dinner dishes. His failure to comply will result in the extension of his punishment by another week. Threatening to take him out of the school he’s in if his grades don’t improve may not also be a bad idea. > > Wasting taxpayer money on punishing a rebellious teenager should be the last resort. Except, as mentioned earlier, he has been trying such things, and the mother has been reversing his decisions. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/233 "2010-07-11T03:21:28Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > Except, as mentioned earlier, he has been trying such things, and the mother has been reversing his decisions. We don’t know what has actually been implemented, though. Trying is not the same thing as doing. It may be that kid has never been grounded in his life and that’s why he’s misbehaving now. That’s still not a reason to drag cops into this. In fact, it’s even less of a reason. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/234 "2010-07-11T04:10:34Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > We don’t know what has actually been implemented, though. That’s correct, we don’t. Presumably the father does know, however. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/235 "2010-07-11T05:03:24Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I smoked pot for 25 years, ending about 7 years ago. In all that time I never knew ONE person who got pot on consignment, or with payment due later. I knew several who got fronted the weed. I know one person very well indeed who got fronted weed for sale. I assure you, I’m not speculating. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/236 "2010-07-11T05:13:36Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I knew several who got fronted the weed. I know one person very well indeed who got fronted weed for sale. I assure you, I’m not speculating. Not that I hang out with drug dealers a lot, but over the years, this has been how it works for high school and college, low level dealers: big dealer fronts smaller dealer the drugs, smaller dealer sells, smaller dealer pays bigger dealer back for drugs, on and on. I thought this was pretty standard? Seeing as it’s pretty unlikely that the kid is the Pablo Escobar of pot, I’m inclined to believe he’s probably in a set up like described above. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/237 "2010-07-11T06:27:19Z")
I kinda side with the Dad. Not for the pot, but the violence, and also because of the kid’s age: where I live, at least, there would not be any long-term repercussions. After the kid turned 18, the offence - if it ever went to court and got a conviction - would be stricken from the record. There would be no juvenile hall or loss of future student aid or any of the other things noted. Kids of that age do sometimes go to young offenders’ institutions over here, but not for something like in the OP. There would be a police investigation, an experience of custody (temporarily), extra support, supervision and therapy. It could cause problems between the Dad and kid, but the kid just struck out physically at the Dad - it’s not like everything would be hunky-dory if no police report was made. I’m not sure if I’d actually do what the Dad did, and I’m not 100% sure it was the right thing to do, but it’s the kind of situation where there’s little you can do that’s 100% right. Of course, the kid could turn round and say ‘no, that’s my Dad’s pot, and _he_ hit _me_! He does it every day!’ And in your scenario it doesn’t sound like the wife would back the Dad up. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/238 "2010-07-11T06:52:29Z")
I’m with **Dio**. Including the bit about spending time in the garage. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/239 "2010-07-11T12:45:02Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I knew several who got fronted the weed. I know one person very well indeed who got fronted weed for sale. I assure you, I’m not speculating. Well, that’s because it was _you_! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871/240 "2010-07-11T13:36:21Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’m with **Dio**. Including the bit about spending time in the garage. Yeah, thats a responsible plan. Steal the kids weed to use for yourself, teach him about double standards, teach him that flaunting the law is okay (as long as you don’t get caught), risk getting caught with the weed yourself by the Po Pos, and as a bonus you raise the risk to your career, house and family even more because now your the “responsible” adult that should know the fuck better and the “but I am a kid” defense won’t fly in court. Yeah, your guys years of weed smoking cause no cognitive problems whatsoever. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-the-cops-on-your-child/545871.md?page=13)