# Calling yourself "fun-loving" in a singles site profile **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 18, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005 "2006-07-18T13:35:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/41 "2006-07-18T20:51:07Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > When I look at a woman’s profile, I’m not evaluating it to see if she’s a good fit. I’m looking for something that I can use to strike up a conversation, with the hope of meeting her and then seeing what I think. Okay, but I don’t see a problem there. “Hi, I’m **ultrafilter**. Your profile says you’re a fun loving gal. So tell me, what would your idea of a fun date be?” ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/42 "2006-07-18T20:53:55Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > I know this is in the wrong thread, and yet it seems significant taht it dropped in when it did… Oh, man. :smack: What is with this board today? Or what is with _me_ today? What’s with _today_, today? I think I need a beer. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/43 "2006-07-18T20:58:36Z")
" She excelled at mediocrity." ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/44 "2006-07-18T20:59:15Z")
> [@iamthewalrus(:3=](#): > > “John Smith was a prosaic man of average height and build, who faced no overwhelming challenges and had no particular asperations for life. He drifted through life, pausing only occasionally to gauge his own satisfaction, a question he always answered with a resolute ‘OK.’ This is his story.” I would totally read this book. Also, I’m totally medium about fun. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/45 "2006-07-18T21:01:58Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Also, I’m totally medium about fun. Cool. We’d get along then, since I’m fun-neutral. Let’s start a subculture! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/46 "2006-07-18T21:03:09Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > “Fun-loving” = “easy lay” > > Don’t you people speak English? Huh. All this time I’d been figuring it meant “I like to get drunk or high, and then you can have your way with me.” I, too, would want more information about a potential date than “I like to have fun.” ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/47 "2006-07-18T21:05:28Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > " She excelled at mediocrity." She’s not just average… she’s extremely average. ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/48 "2006-07-18T21:10:26Z")
People need to be more specific. Try: “I like cheese graters. All cheese graters, all the time. Lesser slicing tools need not apply.” “Casual drug user seeks monetary support.” “Ever douched with diet Snapple? If so I think we could be good together.” “RIDE 'EM COWBOY!” And the like. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/49 "2006-07-18T21:12:10Z")
> [@Nature's Call](#): > > She’s not just average… she’s extremely average. She’s a pasta dish at the potluck table of life. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/50 "2006-07-18T21:26:00Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > > [@ultrafilter](#): > > > > When I look at a woman’s profile, I’m not evaluating it to see if she’s a good fit. I’m looking for something that I can use to strike up a conversation, with the hope of meeting her and then seeing what I think. > > Okay, but I don’t see a problem there. “Hi, I’m **ultrafilter**. Your profile says you’re a fun loving gal. So tell me, what would your idea of a fun date be?” I do see a problem. That opening line might work, but it’s vague and boring. Vague profiles lends themselves to vague opening lines. Heck, you can toss that opening line at _anybody_, simply because it is so generic. It’s the sort of line you use when you can’t think of anything else to say. A good profile will prompt the reader to ask specific questions that lend themselves to more spirited conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/51 "2006-07-18T21:30:44Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I’m fun-_neutral_. Beat that. I’m fun-indifferent, verging on entertainment-adverse. I like to sit at home and contemplate the progressive decline of human civilization, the continual expansion of catabolism, and the inevitable decay of protons and the disintegration of all matter in the Universe. > [@JThunder](#): > > I don’t know about that, **Maastricht**. If that’s the case, then why don’t career counselors ever advise people to use vague, generic descriptions in their resumes? After all, if some people truly are drawn to generic, meaningless phrases, then surely this would work to their advantage. Mate, have you had to read a stack of resumes recently? 'Round my office we play Buzzword Bingo with them. Heck, with most resumes I just kind of skim through the introductory paragraphs and down to their education and skills, and unless they pop in a few polysyllabic words or quote Shakespeare in the cover letter I’m not going to waste my time actually trying to parse the content-less burble on that page. For many (perhaps most) people, creativity is tough, and expressing themselves in written form is unfamiliar. It’s much easier to use certain cultural codewords rather than to draft up an original, well-integrated description of their interests, personality, et cetera. Heck, it seems difficult for most people to even use capital letters and correct punctuation; asking for interesting, relevent self-commentary is nearly futile. And I count myself fortunate that eHarmony (which, in their survey, did inquire as to whether I was “fun-loving”) decided I was unqualified for their service, requiring, as it does, a prefrontal lobotomy and eradication of any humor instinct. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/52 "2006-07-18T21:46:50Z")
> [@Maastricht](#): > > Okay, but I don’t see a problem there. “Hi, I’m **ultrafilter**. Your profile says you’re a fun loving gal. So tell me, what would your idea of a fun date be?” Ugh, I _hate_ being asked that question. 🙂 The definition of a “fun” date has as much to do with the guy’s interests as mine. I see questions like that all of the time, though, usually posed by the dating website for the profile-ee to answer. I tend to leave them blank, because it really totally depends on who I’m going to be on the date with! ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2006, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/53 "2006-07-18T22:10:23Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Mate, have you had to read a stack of resumes recently? 'Round my office we play Buzzword Bingo with them. Heck, with most resumes I just kind of skim through the introductory paragraphs and down to their education and skills, and unless they pop in a few polysyllabic words or quote Shakespeare in the cover letter I’m not going to waste my time actually trying to parse the content-less burble on that page. Yeah, I had to dig through a large stack of resumes not long ago. It was a mind-numbing chore, precisely because of all the “content-less burble.” Clearly, the vast majority of these applicants did not bother to have someone proofread their work. I’ll disagree with you about the cover letters, though. Most of the applicants didn’t bother with a cover letter, and the few that did usually did a sloppy job. The well-written cover letters, on the other hand, truly stood out from the crowd. So did some of the resumes – the ones that were clearly written by someone who took pride in his work. In the same manner, a well-written singles profile can really make a difference. It makes you stand out from the tedious masses, and it provides opportunities for meaningful conversation. > [@](#): > > For many (perhaps most) people, creativity is tough, and expressing themselves in written form is unfamiliar. It’s much easier to use certain cultural codewords rather than to draft up an original, well-integrated description of their interests, personality, et cetera. Heck, it seems difficult for most people to even use capital letters and correct punctuation; asking for interesting, relevent self-commentary is nearly futile. To some extent, I sympathize. Obviously, not everyone can write like Hemingway or Shakespeare. At the same time though, certain basic principles are common sensical and easy enough to apply, e.g. “Be specific” and “Talk about your interests.” When people don’t even bother doing that, I can’t help but wonder how they ever made it past high school. Heck, one can always ask a couple of friends for their input. Not everyone can write a clever resume; however, one can always ask someone else for help. Similarly, not everyone can write an eye-catching profile, but surely one can ask a friend or two for their critiques. It’s not that hard. As an aside, I was shocked at the number of people who bristled at the comparison between a singles profile and one’s resume. I’ll agree that joining a single site is not the same as a job interview; however, it seems to me that the similarities are both significant and obvious. Surely everyone has heard about the importance of writing a well-crafted resume. Why should a singles profile be any different? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/54 "2006-07-19T00:37:52Z")
My GF recently said something along these lines to me: “You’re very boring. I like that. I’m boring too.” What she meant, as it turns out, is that we both lack the compulsion to have “fun” that so many people seem to have. The weekend approaches without any of the “OMG, what are we going to _do?_” that preoccupies so many people. That’s not to say that we don’t ever _have_ fun. We’re just not obsessive about _looking_ for it. Me, I _hate_ looking for fun. I’d just as soon sit around and talk with whoever happens to be handy. I _enjoy_ that. I wouldn’t say it’s “fun.” To me, “fun” conjures up images of Coney Island-like attactions. Forced and ultimately not very satisfying. “Fun-loving,” therefore, equates to “vapid.” I appreciate the heads-up. I’d rather spend time with people who are able to enjoy themselves without having fun. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/55 "2006-07-19T01:56:21Z")
Apparently I’m the only person on the nightfill staff at my store who really doesn’t mind working on a Saturday night (we knock off around Midnight, so it’s technically Sunday by the time we sign off and get out the door). Otherwise, it’s eight hours of grumbling about how they’re missing a party somewhere, or that it’s “Saturday night” and they’re at work. Most people’s idea of “Fun” differs from my own- so I’d intepret “Fun loving girl” to be “Irritating, annoying, vapid, and slightly hyperactive”. Your results may vary, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/56 "2006-07-19T08:25:22Z")
Michael Green’s _The Art of Coarse Sex_ included a story about a personal ad placed by a “fun-loving divorcee” who, when he turned up on her doorstep, “appeared to be an elderly crone”, with whom he was left desperately making polite conversation until he could make an excuse to get away. I don’t do singles ads any more (obviously), but if I did, I think I’d shoot for “Fat grumpy boring misanthrope with a fully-justified low self-esteem”. It would leave me all the more time alone with my computer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005/57 "2006-07-19T11:35:54Z")
> [@pseudotriton ruber ruber](#): > > “Fun-loving” = “easy lay” > > Don’t you people speak English? Heh. I thought it meant “I like to sleep around.” Kind of like “I like long walks on the beach” means “I’m cheap.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calling-yourself-fun-loving-in-a-singles-site-profile/365005.md?page=2)