# Calvinball, anyone? **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [December 18, 2008, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764 "2008-12-18T17:01:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/21 "2008-12-18T19:16:41Z")
> [@Agonist](#): > > 😃 Calvinball! Great idea! > > :: waves GO HOBBES flag from the sidelines :: > [@NAF1138](#): > > But it doesn’t give you immunity from triping over that giant tree root, because you are going backward and not looking, and trowing the flag in the air as you fall. Which you do. > > Fortunatly I am there to catch it. I say “Pens are inky, girls are stinky, little stars go winky-dinky” (because it is Thursday) and wrap myself, legally, in my cloak of uncatchability, and make for the endzone. As Hobbes\*, who is on my team, Bwa-ha-ha-HA, sees he has a rooting section, He tackles \*\*NAF1138 \*\*and sends the flag flying into my hands where I instead invoke the 3rd postulate of [del]Fizbin[/del] and skip to my goal under the immunity clause thus invoked. Drat too late, Hobbes tackle me and hands the flag to Susie! - of course Hobbes as an ally will be invalidated by a cute girl participating. I hope Susie Derkins does not show up. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/22 "2008-12-18T19:25:33Z")
I briefly consider using it to make a cape for Mr. Bun, but decide instead to leave it on a bush as I head back to the tea party I have set up on the sidewalk. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/23 "2008-12-18T19:33:58Z")
Recovering from the Tiger pounce, I grab the flag off the shrubbery and roll underneath it to complete my recovery. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/24 "2008-12-18T20:52:06Z")
I make a new rule where upon you must sing “On Top of Spaghetti” as loud as you can while running backwards then jumping up and down three times on home plate in order to score a point. \*On top of spaGHEtti! All covered with cheese… I lost my poor meaaaaat ball when somebody sneeeeezed. It rolled off the taaaaable and onto the floooooor and then my poor meaaat ball rolled out through the doooooor. It rolled through the GAAAARDEN and under a bush and now my pooor meaaat ball is nothing but muuuuuush!\* _Grabs flag, and runs backwards toward home plate_ ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/25 "2008-12-18T20:57:36Z")
Again with the running backwards? People, you know that running backwards is an open invitation to the rest of us to trip you don’t you? _sticks out leg to trip HockeyMonkey before she can score. HM falls to the ground with a thump and drops the flag_ Also, today is Thursday, which means that no new rules involving singing can take effect for at least 72 hours. I will just pick up this here flag and saunter towards the goal. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/26 "2008-12-18T20:58:16Z")
Use of the word “saunter” is clearly disqualifying under Calvinball Rule 115.63.2(D)(1)(e)(xviii). I grab the flag and win! Huzzah! ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/27 "2008-12-18T21:03:43Z")
While all of you were monkeying around with this “flag,” I’ve been slowly inching my way towards the goal while in possession of the official game BALL, unnoticed by the rest of the players. Q points with a triple score December bonus will be mine. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/28 "2008-12-18T21:04:55Z")
You do know you have to run to the endzone before you win? I guess not. Grabs the flag while you’re celebrating and skips for the megazone! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/29 "2008-12-18T21:07:50Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > While all of you were monkeying around with this “flag,” I’ve been slowly inching my way towards the goal while in possession of the official game BALL, unnoticed by the rest of the players. Q points with a triple score December bonus will be mine. But not on a Thursday that is a multiple of 3 during a leap year. Instead you lose 7 points and have to wear the pink lace doily on your head. While dazzling others with my knowledge of the game, I use the ball from \*\*MOIDALIZE \*\*to knock the flag out of \*\*WormTheRed’s \*\*hand. I race over and grab it and race for Home Plate. (Made from an old toilet seat.) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/30 "2008-12-18T21:11:34Z")
:: tips hat to **Susie Derkins** :: Anyone actually married to a Susan (as I am) automatically gains possession. Hurtling hell for leather from out of nowhere, I knock **What Exit?** for a loop, grab the flag and score again!!! ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/31 "2008-12-18T21:45:05Z")
All previous scores are cancelled. Poof! I heard no one say “Dumbledore, Doumbledore, What are you hoping for?” as they entered the end zone. The jali-penalty applies. I have 9,000,000,000 points. Thanks guys. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/32 "2008-12-18T21:51:13Z")
> [@jali](#): > > All previous scores are cancelled. Poof! > > I heard no one say “Dumbledore, Doumbledore, What are you hoping for?” as they entered the end zone. The jali-penalty applies. I have 9,000,000,000 points. > > Thanks guys. Bah, Calvin is no fan of Dumbledore and a “Wizard did it” is not a part of Calvinball. Points not only removed but a 10 point penalty seems fair. I eat my Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs[sup]TM[/sup] and use my sugar-high induced state to zip over and grab the flag and race to my end zone to finally score a few points. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/33 "2008-12-18T21:54:30Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Bah, Calvin is no fan of Dumbledore and a “Wizard did it” is not a part of Calvinball. Points not only removed but a 10 point penalty seems fair. > > I eat my Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs[sup]TM[/sup] and use my sugar-high induced state to zip over and grab the flag and race to my end zone to finally score a few points. It sure is a shame about that late scoring penalty. Anyone who hadn’t scored before 1:50pm pacific time has to pay me their points if they score between 1:50pm and 2pm. (again, pacific time) Isn’t that a weirdly specific rule to pop up and bite you in the behind? Crazy. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/34 "2008-12-18T21:59:15Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > It sure is a shame about that late scoring penalty. Anyone who hadn’t scored before 1:50pm pacific time has to pay me their points if they score between 1:50pm and 2pm. (again, pacific time) > > Isn’t that a weirdly specific rule to pop up and bite you in the behind? Crazy. We give you all our points? Great! You do know that lowest score wins, right? ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/35 "2008-12-18T22:04:23Z")
After the first 35 posts, the flag no longer matters. as\_u\_wish brings out her hockey stick and slaps the puck towards hockeymonkey, howling teamwork teamwork as they rush towards the net. ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/36 "2008-12-18T22:09:15Z")
Yeah! I bring my buds Team Iceland in Mighty Ducks and we totally cross check and slash you girls - steal the puck (with the flag on top) and skate towards the goal! ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/37 "2008-12-18T22:15:51Z")
You trip over the flag, causing the puck to careen wildly. Modalize tries to grab it and misses, and as\_u\_wish (using the transmorgifier) converts the puck into a basketball and gets off a perfect layup through the tree, over the swimming pool, off the backstop and right into the net for two points. Yeeeeeee ha. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/38 "2008-12-18T22:26:46Z")
Score all the points you want, I don’t mind. Lowest score wins, after all. In fact, I’ve been off to the side furiously hitting the Point Reducing Tetherball over and over again. Who knows how low my score is at this point. ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/39 "2008-12-18T22:32:11Z")
But now it’s backwards day and all the negative points convert to positive ones. The other players rejoice. When suddenly, from across the comics page, the notes of the Bloody Red Baron are heard. Snoopy swoops in, absconding with the ball, the puck and the flag. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764/40 "2008-12-18T22:33:42Z")
ARRRGGG! I hate it when it turns out that low score wins! BAH! On the other hand, you seem to have forgotten that the 18th of the month is the day that the point reducing tetherball causes scores to increase at twice the rate it normally causes them to decrease. I just checked the stats, you have well over 1000 pts. :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-anyone/477764.md?page=3)