# Calvinball Begins! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 10, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429 "2001-01-10T23:46:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/101 "2001-01-17T02:54:52Z")
Just because I can… ZERO GRAVITY! ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/102 "2001-01-18T02:41:58Z")
Obviously that didn’t go over well… ZERO GRAVITY, AND EVERYONE GETS A FREE ICE-CREAM CONE! ---
**Author:** ![snac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@snac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snac)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/103 "2001-01-18T03:04:39Z")
Hurray! Make mine pistachio-on-rye. Could Cecil be one of the spiderlings in disguise? Unfortunately, with zero gravity they have all moved off in different difficult directions. Fortunately snac can use his extra pistachio as bait to induce them to return. He sets out the 0.02 extra milligrams left over after his snac… and waits… and waits… and waits… Thinks: So this is what fishing is all about… ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/104 "2001-01-18T03:08:51Z")
**Mnementh** , wandering aimlessly while carnage ensues and all manner of objects hurtle past him, is suddenly surprised by the lack of gravity. Wandering ceases; aimless floating begins. Though the ice cream pacifies him somewhat, he continues to float, annoyed, until such time as someone should decide to give him a hand. I think I’ll join the team of whoever decides to save me. My and my small arsenal of sharpness (well what were you expecting from me but an arsenal?) would be useful in cutting up traps, cutting down obstacles, defending against errant T-rexes or even removal of webbed up calvinballs. Or whatever else I can think of. _floats…_ ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/105 "2001-01-18T03:45:00Z")
Wohoo! I’m an owl! I can fly! I can really fly! Lookit me! Lookit me! I’m flyi… \ * * * Stupid low ceilings. ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/106 "2001-01-18T10:45:45Z")
**Aghris** of the **Rosalyn** team floats towards **Mnementh** and picks her/him up. Lots of homework to do and I can use all the help I can get to win this stupid came and talk on the phone to my boyfriend. Meanwhile, I float towards **Totoro** and use my **Babysit-Demonic-Stare-of-Domination ™** on him to force him to restore gravity and then put everyone to bed. ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/107 "2001-01-18T13:06:09Z")
Blackclaw tries to defend himself against kristoph’s accusations of liking slimy girls. “Yes, but only as lunch! And even Hobbes our fearless tiger enjoys a good people snack now and then!” Unless he is actually summoned to a hearing on charges of treason, Blackclaw now begins to try and retrace his path of destruction back to Cecil’s office. The lack of gravity is slowing him down though. “Let’s see, there’s a lamp I broke… and a chair I took a bite out of. No destruction down this hall, so it must be this way. Ah… here’s a floating cabinet that I half ate. Bonk! Ow!” ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/108 "2001-01-18T13:21:17Z")
So I’m on the Rosalyn team now? Okay. **Mnementh** draws his sword and starts walking around the HQ, searching for Cecil, avoiding doors and cutting through the walls if only to use his powers for the first time. Coming across a large, squirming pile of Calvinballs, he gets to hackin’ away, eventually locating a distressed **ArkonDLoC** in the middle of it. Okay, so are you on my team? I have no idea who I’m working with here. ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/109 "2001-01-18T13:44:19Z")
Plunging down the toilet to chase after his flushed homework, **Aghris** finds the first clue of **Cecil’s** whereabouts: A small and knife, rusty but incredibly sharp from years of fighting ignorance is hidden in the sewers. Aghris takes a gasp of air in his huge _babysit lungs_ used primarily for shouting to small infants and starts swimming towards the light at the end of the tunnel. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/110 "2001-01-18T14:52:05Z")
All the little spiderlings like the zero gravity, and those who aren’t eating ice cream cones are counting their legs upside down. They notice a lone pistachio floating about and drift towards it. . . **Spider Woman** searches furiously for her list of allies and opponents and is swinging thread to [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53427) to find it. And Roslyn has a team now too? Cool! ----🆒/ x o x o ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/111 "2001-01-18T15:40:32Z")
[screeching halt] Pardon my ignorance, but who is Rosalyn? The name sounds familiar, but the Ny-Quil can’t place it. [/screeching halt] ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/112 "2001-01-18T15:53:33Z")
If memory serves me (and it seldom does), Rosalyn is the little neighbor girl that Calvin was always at odds with (the original slimy girl). ---
**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/113 "2001-01-18T16:01:10Z")
Ummmm…how would one make a “screeching halt” in zero gravity? Just curious… 😛 To make things more interesting, I’m making all surfaces frictionless. 😃 Have fun everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/114 "2001-01-18T17:18:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by idiotboy \* > Ummmm…how would one make a “screeching halt” in zero gravity? Just curious… 😛 You screech in terror just before slamming headfirst into the ceiling. 😃 Thinking that perhaps **Aghris** has the right approach, **Balance** stands on a conveniently placed magic spot and quietly says “xyzzy”. He vanishes with a flicker of light and a \. ```auto West of House. You are in an open field west of a big white house with a boarded front door. > ``` ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/115 "2001-01-18T22:50:09Z")
Growing tired of being on a little-known team, **Mnementh** decides to defect to **Hobbes** team, just 'cause Hobbes is cooler. Hi, new teammates! Floating again, Mnementh is helpless, unable to control his movements at all. And now, with no friction, his sword slips from his hand and floats away, while he furiously struggles midair attempting to retrieve it. Y’know so far I’ve not done a lot else than float. I think I need gravity to contribute to this game. Team hobbes? Little help? ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/116 "2001-01-18T23:13:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\*[screeching halt] > Pardon my ignorance, but who is Rosalyn? The name sounds familiar, but the Ny-Quil can’t place it. > [/screeching halt] \*\* She’s the babysitter of Calvin and she hates him, but she has to babysit him cause no one else will do it. And cause college tuitions up 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/117 "2001-01-18T23:24:00Z")
**Arkon** laughs and surrounds himself with a sphere of power that enables him to fly. He extended the sphere to **Mnementh**. “Teams? I’m afraid I haven’t a clue what’s going on, I just came to deliver a question to Cecil. Where is he, anyway? Shall we fly?” ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/118 "2001-01-18T23:30:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ArkonDLoC \* > \*\ ***Arkon** laughs and surrounds himself with a sphere of power that enables him to fly. He extended the sphere to **Mnementh**. “Teams? I’m afraid I haven’t a clue what’s going on, I just came to deliver a question to Cecil. Where is he, anyway? Shall we fly?” \*\* ‘Where is Cecil?’ is the eternal question here, it seems. We’re all looking for him, so if you think you can find him (and if you can keep me mobile here…) I’ll stick with ya. At least till the gravity comes back and I can start smashing stuff again. And hey… uh… hate to ask for favours, here, but can we possibly retrieve my sword? Floating around like that it’s bound to do some… _sssshhhhhink_ damage. Damnit… ---
**Author:** ![ArkonDLoC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@ArkonDLoC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArkonDLoC)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/119 "2001-01-18T23:45:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* > \*\*And hey… uh… hate to ask for favours, here, but can we possibly retrieve my sword? Floating around like that it’s bound to do some… > > _sssshhhhhink_ > > damage. Damnit… > \*\* “Well, I think were’re passing by that phone anyway. Watch the shrapnel.” Arkon hovered near the sword and looked over the building directory. “Of course… it’s so simple!” ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429/120 "2001-01-19T00:00:52Z")
_grabs desperatly to retrieve his sword, still not quite sure exactly what it went through_ This oughta be good. Lead on, oh magic-flyin’ one! I am but a humble passenger. (who is on his way to getting the first part of this game done!!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-begins/49429.md?page=7)