# Calvinball Will Never Die - The Abilities Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008 "2001-01-01T18:52:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/41 "2001-01-05T01:32:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Totoro \* > I don’t know whether or not to ask you to change that ability… It’d be fun to watch others fail miserably… I plan to use it creatively, but in a limited fashion–obvious causality problems or too many posts between the target and my response will keep it from working. Maybe it will inspire \strategy\ from our opponents. As for your condition…normally I don’t boink old ladies, but I’ll remember it just in case. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![orion007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@orion007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orion007)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/42 "2001-01-05T02:18:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balance \* > \*\*I can nullify any one ability of any one other player at any given time (including mundane abilities, like running [sub]or scoring[/sub]). This works as an instantaneous counter (just in case Gadarene gets any funny ideas), but I have to release whoever I’m nullifying to switch to someone else. Heheheh–I can ruin anybody’s fun! Just not everyone’s at once… > > BTW, I’m preemptively nullifying thinksnow’s ability until further notice. See how your computers aren’t crashing? \*\* Thank God you’re on my team 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/43 "2001-01-06T01:41:05Z")
Hey, unless you get a ability in soon, We’ll start the game without you… WARN THE PEOPLE ON YOUR TEAM! ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/44 "2001-01-06T01:43:40Z")
I’m going to add another REF to the game, because I can. **ElusiveMiser** gets the ref spot. I hope to increase his post count. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/45 "2001-01-07T05:15:53Z")
I’m just posting here to make sure the thread doesnt die. ALright? Alright. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/46 "2001-01-07T15:09:02Z")
:: practices webbing **Totoro** ’s ref whistle closed :: ----:p/ ----///\\ Maybe some of the most interesting plays will be made by those who haven’t chosen abilities. And since there are no rules in Calvinball, may we allow people to join in who haven’t previously signed up, even after the game has started? When do we start? I don’t always have access to the computer, but I will check as often as I can. Once you start the new thread, could you link it to this one? If you click on the little [vB code](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?action=bbcode) at the bottom of the page, it will walk you through it. Just copy the site address from the adress bar. :: webs **Totoro** shoes together :: ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/47 "2001-01-07T15:43:20Z")
I’d like to talk with the other refs about when to start the actual game, so if they could stop in every once in a while, that’d be nice… And thanks **SpiderWoman** , I hadn’t figured out the linking thing yet. ---
**Author:** ![snac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@snac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snac)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/48 "2001-01-07T17:23:16Z")
I can switch places with any referee, once during the game, or more often if I feel like it and the ref doesn’t notice. Ho ho ho. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/49 "2001-01-07T21:33:53Z")
Oooh, that’s evil. So evil, in fact, that I’m allowing it… Heh heh heh… This is what will be called the ultimate backfire by many. ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/50 "2001-01-08T18:10:28Z")
[unnecessary bump] I’m glad snac is on my team. Nymysys, Deacon’s Trucked, Girl Next Door, Rysdad where are you? We’ll be starting soon and we need you. [/unnecessary bump] ---
**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/51 "2001-01-08T19:14:40Z")
_Blows Whistle_ Personal Foul on Totoro for allowing abilities which will inhibit a ref’s duty of properly officiating a game. If you look in the rulebook pg. 23,814: Chapter 783, Section 4,923, Rule # 9,032, Amendment 63a, Subsections 523 a,b&d, and 527 through 533, it clearly states “Never fuck with a ref!” See, right there! Oh wait… _Reads book cover_ Sorry, I was reading the NFL rulebook… But seriously as I read the ability: > [@](#): > > **I can switch places with any referee, once during the game, or more often if I feel like it and the ref doesn’t notice.** What’s with this “Once during the game” **or** “more often”…well, which is it?! I think **once** is good and fair. And the way we can do it so it really works, is supply **snac** with the refs’ email addresses, and he can email them, and tell them that he’s taking them over and to post what **snac** wants to do as ref…kind of “remote posting through someone else”, ya know what I mean? And we can limit it to, say, a total 10 or 15 “false ref” posts per game. Sound fair? Or maybe if he takes over the ref’s body…does the ref then become the player? Interesting idea there, too…Just to make it fair for the refs, too. 🙂 _Looks up at an empty room…looks at watch_ Where’d everyone go? I wasn’t talking that long, was I? _Leaves…and takes his whistle with him_ ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/52 "2001-01-10T01:53:34Z")
Alright people the game starts TOMORROW! Better get your abilities in now… ---
**Author:** ![snac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@snac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snac)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/53 "2001-01-10T03:21:35Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by idiotboy \* > [@](#): > > **I can switch places with any referee, once during the game, or more often if I feel like it and the ref doesn’t notice.** What’s with this “Once during the game” **or** “more often”…well, which is it?! I think **once** is good and fair. And the way we can do it so it really works, is supply **snac** with the refs’ email addresses, and he can email them, and tell them that he’s taking them over and to post what **snac** wants to do as ref…kind of “remote posting through someone else”, ya know what I mean? And we can limit it to, say, a total 10 or 15 “false ref” posts per game. Sound fair? Or maybe if he takes over the ref’s body…does the ref then become the player? Interesting idea there, too…Just to make it fair for the refs, too. 🙂 I become ref and ref takes my position on the field; that’s the way I’d figured it anyway. As for “once” or “more often”–once as a given, without anyone having anything to say about it, and more often assuming I can get away with it. A bit like voting…everybody gets one crack and then you’re on your own. [Not that there would be any PENALTY if I tried to exercise this option more than once and someone objected. I hate penalties. Referees take note.] ---
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/54 "2001-01-10T21:19:00Z")
Ack! AAAACCCKKK!! Here I am! I’m here! Didn’t forget about me, did you? \ Okay, lemme catch my breath. Ability, eh? Ummm…Since I wanted to be on Hobbes team (no offense to my present mates meant) I think I’ll stick with the kissing ability. I can give anyone and icky girl smooch and freeze them to the spot for five minutes. And, yes, that includes other girls, too. And, no, I won’t let this degenerate into a love-in. Promise. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/55 "2001-01-10T21:24:02Z")
GAH! A pox on Andy and his forgetting to change back to me! He’ll NEVER use my computer again! NEVER I say! Okay, above post is me, get it? I have a second ability to change into a limey bastard at will. Can’t I have two? The second one is only good for getting drunk very fast and speaking unintelligibly. ::waves at Andy and gives him the finger. Bastard:: ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/56 "2001-01-11T17:58:01Z")
[Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=54861) is the beginning of Calvinball! ----:p/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/57 "2001-01-12T13:30:50Z")
Spiderwoman, Is there a meeting here? ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/58 "2001-01-12T13:47:03Z")
I got knocked off the computer by a teenager! Sorry about the delay! Hi **Blackclaw**! I was hoping if we came to this thead, it would serve as a reminder to all of our friends and allies to come to our assistance at [the Calvinball game](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=54861) just down the hall. Of course, it will also alert the others, but we won’t let them into the meeting. ----:p/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/59 "2001-01-12T17:04:04Z")
Are we going to strategize, or just goof off in two threads at once? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008/60 "2001-01-12T17:20:00Z")
[The actual strategy was to alert people to the thread by linking the two, but I think since the longer threads are giving the board problems, probably better to stop bumping this one.] Carry on, brave soldier! ----:)/ ----///\\ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/calvinball-will-never-die-the-abilities-thread/48008.md?page=2)