# Camel Toes **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 8, 2004, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749 "2004-12-08T15:18:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/81 "2004-12-09T00:01:51Z")
Disclaimer: This story is possibly apocryphal. My sister-in-law claims it as first-hand, but ya never know. My SIL was in gym class late last year when one of the girls hobbled up to the coach and asked if she could hit the bench for a little while. When the coach questioned her about it, she said it was because she “had a camel toe”. The coach looked at her oddly. “A camel toe?”, he asked. “Yes!”, said the girl, “I have a camel toe!” “Fine”, said the coach, and the girl took a seat on the bench. It was two or three minutes before the girl jumped up and started yelling at the coach… “Charlie horse!! I meant I have a charlie horse!!!” Like I said…I don’t know if it’s true or not, but damn I hope it is. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/82 "2004-12-09T00:05:14Z")
Damn funny story **Hal**. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/83 "2004-12-09T00:05:29Z")
I don’t know where people got that genitalia were ugly looking, I think this has something to do with the fact that people are not normally accustomed to seeing those parts of other people’s bodies except in certain circumstances, so it isnt something mundane like eyes or elbows or fingers. I think male and female genitals look nice in their own respective regard. Women’s bits are pleasantly compact; as that one website showed, a woman can wear the tiniest of bikini bottoms and still not actually expose anything. There is nothing to get caught in zippers, smooshed, bent, or bruised. A guy’s bits are a master of functionality. Plus having a penis makes it much easier to pee standing up, or pee into a container if need be. Also, in the morning, its great for hanging my towel on 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/84 "2004-12-09T00:13:22Z")
This guy is making out with his girlfriend and she says, “Put two fingers inside me”. So he does, and he fools around for a bit while she keeps giving him instructions. “Put four fingers inside me.” “Put your hand inside me.” “Put your other hand inside me.” “Put your head inside me.” “Now climb in.” So he’s crawling around in there, and after a while he comes across another guy holding a cigarette lighter and peering at the floor. “Have you seen a set of keys anywhere?”, asks this other man. “No”, replies our hero, “why?” “Because if you find them, we can drive my 18-wheeler out of here.” ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/85 "2004-12-09T00:16:07Z")
**Evil Death** , that sounds like an unrealistically large vagina. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/86 "2004-12-09T00:16:44Z")
That is an oldie, but a goodie. I haven’t heard that one in a coon’s age, but the classics never go out of style. Thanks for the laugh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/87 "2004-12-09T00:37:35Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > **Evil Death** , that sounds like an unrealistically large vagina. 😃 Funnier than the joke itself. I laughed 'til I puked! Now that’s some chunky comedy! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/88 "2004-12-09T00:41:34Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > **Evil Death** , that sounds like an unrealistically large vagina. Well, the woman described in the OP could probably keep a whole chapter of Hell’s Angels in leather jackets if they tanned her beef curtains. Just in case I haven’t disgusted people enough yet: “Sunk to the nuts in her vertical grin”, “a twatload of bladder adder snot”, “you could use her pubes as dental floss”, “a clit like a bean in ten pounds of bacon”, and if you’re going to gobble my knob take your false teeth out first, love. Honestly, there’s some weak-stomached buggers around here… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/89 "2004-12-09T01:14:40Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > If I may dust off an old chestnut: cite? 😉 Okey-dokey…now you’ve made me blush. > [@giraffe](#): > > Evil Death, that sounds like an unrealistically large vagina > [@tdn](#): > > Funnier than the joke itself. I laughed 'til I puked! Now that’s some chunky comedy! OH my gawd, yes…that was funnier. Thank you for putting a new spin on an old joke. > [@tdn](#): > > “Dust off an old chestnut”? Is that what it’s called these days? Back in my day, sonny-boy, we called it flogging the dolphin. “He doesn’t flog the dolphin before any\_big\_date!” ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/90 "2004-12-09T01:22:51Z")
I’m just astonished at the shock over “meat curtains”. That’s gotta be older than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/91 "2004-12-09T01:41:56Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > I’m just astonished at the shock over “meat curtains”. That’s gotta be older than I am. I have a book of “Tijuana bibles”, those dirty cartoon books from the 30’s to the 50’s. A slang term for the penis many of them use: “kidney disturber”. I almost fell over when I heard that one. I started using it in life but it failed to catch on, though. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/92 "2004-12-09T02:08:50Z")
**Elenia28** , you mentioned in another thread that you’re 15, right? Please tell me you’re older. Because discussing a 15-year-old’s beautiful meat flaps with her was not on my List Of Things To Do Today. Not that I’m not enjoying your posts, mind you, but we’ve definitely crossed over into surreal territory here. I mean, it’s not like I woke up today thinking “Gee, I’ll go to work, look over the Anderson report, go to lunch, and then talk to a 15-year-old about her beautiful meat flaps.” Seriously, that wasn’t on the schedule until next week, earliest. Though I suppose I could fit you in Friday after the big stockholder’s meeting. ---
**Author:** ![Tamarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tamarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamarin)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/93 "2004-12-09T02:08:55Z")
> [@Tikster](#): > > Along the same lines, but possible a highjack (and if so I apologise) - howcome some men think it’s sexy to have jeans so tight you can verify they do indeed have two testicles? > Tikster. Years ago, when I was still in the Navy, we would occasionally have a fundraiser known as “Civilian Clothes Day.” You’d pay a couple of bucks and get a ticket to carry around in your pocket (though no one ever asked to see it that I know of), and this ticket would allow you to wear civilian clothes for that day instead of your military uniform. We had this one guy in our watch team that was a little…odd. On civilian clothes day he would wear things that were definitely NOT things that normal people would be caught dead in, his favorite being a straightjacket. Anyway, one day he showed up in a full body leotard, a tuxedo jacket, and those little ninja bootie things that look kinda like mittens for your feet ([see here](http://www.mcgregorsmartialarts.com/Images/StrImages/NinjaBoots.jpg)). This was absolutely too much for my friend Diana. She went to our watch coordinator and complained saying, “You can see all of his _business_. He should not be allowed to wear that to work! It’s insane. If _I_ came to work wearing stuff so tight you could see my _camel toe_ I’d get sent home to change.” My watch coordinator said in all seriousness… “I think his shoes are supposed to look that way” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/94 "2004-12-09T02:23:16Z")
I am another one of those folks that never heard the term until quite recently. And I definitely agree with Elenia28 that the term “camel toe” is repulsive. That being said, I am 150% in favor of viewing this fine feminine feature but a new term for it is definitely called for. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/95 "2004-12-09T02:37:50Z")
> [@wolf\_meister](#): > > That being said, I am 150% in favor of viewing this fine feminine feature but a new term for it is definitely called for. Cleft Crotch? Split Infunitive? Cologen Cunt? Equaly Divided Happy Fun Spot? Bulge-o-matic Girly Groin? Hot Lips? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/96 "2004-12-09T02:42:58Z")
Do not taunt Happy Fun Spot. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/97 "2004-12-09T02:46:29Z")
In my day we called it a vertical smile. [falls off rocking chair] ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/98 "2004-12-09T03:13:11Z")
“Mumblers” (from British slang) because you can see the lips move, but you can’t make out what they’re saying. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/99 "2004-12-09T03:28:27Z")
I though the butt was the vertical smile \ ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2004, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749/100 "2004-12-09T04:28:37Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > There is no way that this lady doesn’t know that her anatomy’s on display. If she can manage to get a camel toe with jeans, that means they are WAY too tight. And if the matierial is embedded as far as you say, she can definitely feel it. Methinks she’s trying to attract attention to herself, and it looks like she got it. Quite a tasteless way to go about it, though, IMO. I’m reaching for a word here to describe what I’m seeing, with someone who goes by the name **Floozy** thinking that dangling one’s juicy bits in public as being tasteless. Is it “irony”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/camel-toes/278749.md?page=6)