# Can a bisexual be entirely satisfied in a monogamous relationship? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 2, 2006, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121 "2006-01-02T21:53:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/21 "2011-06-24T03:14:28Z")
This may be quite a controversial statement but I do not believe TRUE bisexuality exists. Not true bisexuality. “Bisexual” men are really gay men who are at some stage of self-acceptace with their sexuality. “Bisexual” women are a bit more complex. Women can love another woman’s beauty, appreciate it in ways another man can never comprehend. There are attractions there, but it’s not the basis of their sexuality. They can see another woman for the woman she is from a woman’s eye (if that convoluted thought made any sense). But they still have primal urges for male courtship. This is absent in the lesbian. The lesbian has the primal urge for fellow female courtship. IDK, given the right amount of time and space, I could arrange these thoughts in a more cohesive, well thought out manner, as it is this post is awfully scattered. So Im pretty sure it will be picked apart mercilessly. But hey, that’s why I joined this place.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/22 "2011-06-24T03:19:21Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > This may be quite a controversial statement but I do not believe TRUE bisexuality exists. Not true bisexuality. And why would you believe that? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/23 "2011-06-24T03:20:29Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > And why would you believe that? Its nothing more than my ignorant pov, that’s all. Sock it to me. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/24 "2011-06-24T03:21:53Z")
> [@Lilairen](#): > > A fair number of the bisexuals of my acquaintance don’t consider gender to be a particularly important factor in whether or not they form relationships. Once at B&N I saw a magazine on the rack titled _Anything That Moves: The Magazine for the Free-Range Bisexual._ Cover B&W photo showed a couple sitting affectionately on a park bench, shot from behind, loose clothes, genders of subject imponderable. Don’t know if it lasted. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/25 "2011-06-24T03:24:03Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > This may be quite a controversial statement but I do not believe TRUE bisexuality exists. . . . “Bisexual” women are a bit more complex. Women can love another woman’s beauty, appreciate it in ways another man can never comprehend. There are attractions there, but it’s not the basis of their sexuality. They can see another woman for the woman she is from a woman’s eye (if that convoluted thought made any sense). But they still have primal urges for male courtship. This is absent in the lesbian. The lesbian has the primal urge for fellow female courtship. 😕 So how are there **not** bisexual women? You seem to be distinguishing them from both gay and straight ones. I think. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/26 "2011-06-24T03:24:12Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Once at B&N I saw a magazine on the rack titled _Anything That Moves: The Magazine for the Free-Range Bisexual._ Cover B&W photo showed a couple sitting affectionately on a park bench, shot from behind, loose clothes, genders of subject imponderable. Don’t know if it lasted. Not quite a park bench, and not B&W, but what was presumably that cover can be found [here](http://www.anythingthatmoves.com/issues.html). ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/27 "2011-06-24T03:27:58Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > Not quite a park bench, and not B&W, but is [this](http://www.alta-glamour.com/glam/images/items/56055.jpg) the one? Might have been. Long time gone. I see that ish is from 1998, back when there were bisexuals. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/28 "2011-06-24T03:28:33Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Might have been. Long time gone. I see that ish is from 1998, back when there were bisexuals. LMAO! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/29 "2011-06-24T03:30:31Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I see that ish is from 1998, back when there were bisexuals. They were hunted to extinction? “Lookee there, a bisexual!” _\_ “That’ll look great mounted over the fireplace!” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/30 "2011-06-24T04:59:37Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > This may be quite a controversial statement but I do not believe TRUE bisexuality exists. Not true bisexuality. “Bisexual” men are really gay men who are at some stage of self-acceptace with their sexuality. “Bisexual” women are a bit more complex. Women can love another woman’s beauty, appreciate it in ways another man can never comprehend. There are attractions there, but it’s not the basis of their sexuality. They can see another woman for the woman she is from a woman’s eye (if that convoluted thought made any sense). But they still have primal urges for male courtship. This is absent in the lesbian. The lesbian has the primal urge for fellow female courtship. So what led you to believe this? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/31 "2011-06-24T05:03:25Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > They were hunted to extinction? No, I, ermm, converted them. :o All of them. One at a time. Some one way, some another. Sometimes I flipped a coin first. It was a period of my life on which I prefer not to dwell. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/32 "2011-06-24T05:03:40Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > “That’ll look great mounted over the fireplace!” Talk about strange sexual positions…! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/33 "2011-06-24T05:08:04Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Talk about strange sexual positions…! 😃 Well, that’s why trophy bisexuals always come in pairs. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/34 "2011-06-24T06:06:51Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > “Lookee there, a bisexual!” > > _\_ > > “That’ll look great mounted over the fireplace!” You need a shag carpet to go along with that fireplace. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/35 "2011-06-24T06:12:33Z")
To the OP: Yes, I think so. Although, truth be told, I find myself sliding towards the straight end of the scale as I get older, which is weird to me. When I started my relationship with my now-wife, I felt myself fully in the middle. Nowadays, I can only really feel a yearning for Johnny Depp, John Barrowman and the Nu-Who Doctors 🙂 **jamiemcgarry** , might I just digress and say it’s nice that you’re sticking around and also participating in more than one-issue threads. Welcome! You’re wrong, I speak from experience, but there’s no crime in not having experience. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/36 "2011-06-24T07:08:15Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > This may be quite a controversial statement but I do not believe TRUE bisexuality exists. Not true bisexuality. “Bisexual” men are really gay men who are at some stage of self-acceptace with their sexuality. “Bisexual” women are a bit more complex. Women can love another woman’s beauty, appreciate it in ways another man can never comprehend. There are attractions there, but it’s not the basis of their sexuality. They can see another woman for the woman she is from a woman’s eye (if that convoluted thought made any sense). But they still have primal urges for male courtship. This is absent in the lesbian. The lesbian has the primal urge for fellow female courtship. IDK, given the right amount of time and space, I could arrange these thoughts in a more cohesive, well thought out manner, as it is this post is awfully scattered. So Im pretty sure it will be picked apart mercilessly. But hey, that’s why I joined this place.😉 No offense intended, honest, but that’s the biggest steaming load of horse crap I’ve ever read. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/37 "2011-06-24T08:20:58Z")
I was always rather sympathetic to Anne Heche. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/38 "2011-06-24T08:29:41Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > This may be quite a controversial statement but I do not believe TRUE bisexuality exists. Not true bisexuality. “Bisexual” men are really gay men who are at some stage of self-acceptace with their sexuality. “Bisexual” women are a bit more complex. Women can love another woman’s beauty, appreciate it in ways another man can never comprehend. There are attractions there, but it’s not the basis of their sexuality. They can see another woman for the woman she is from a woman’s eye (if that convoluted thought made any sense). But they still have primal urges for male courtship. This is absent in the lesbian. The lesbian has the primal urge for fellow female courtship. IDK, given the right amount of time and space, I could arrange these thoughts in a more cohesive, well thought out manner, as it is this post is awfully scattered. So Im pretty sure it will be picked apart mercilessly. But hey, that’s why I joined this place.😉 I’m trying to formulate a tactful way of saying you’re full of shit, but I can’t. My partner is bisexual, and we’ve been happily monogamous for over 23 years. He happens to be the most evolved person I know, and he’s not at all lacking in “self-acceptance.” ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/39 "2011-06-24T09:42:38Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > This may be quite a controversial statement but I do not believe TRUE bisexuality exists. Not true bisexuality. “Bisexual” men are really gay men who are at some stage of self-acceptace with their sexuality. “Bisexual” women are a bit more complex. Women can love another woman’s beauty, appreciate it in ways another man can never comprehend. There are attractions there, but it’s not the basis of their sexuality. They can see another woman for the woman she is from a woman’s eye (if that convoluted thought made any sense). But they still have primal urges for male courtship. This is absent in the lesbian. The lesbian has the primal urge for fellow female courtship. IDK, given the right amount of time and space, I could arrange these thoughts in a more cohesive, well thought out manner, as it is this post is awfully scattered. So Im pretty sure it will be picked apart mercilessly. But hey, that’s why I joined this place.😉 I’m what I consider mostly straight, while batting for the home team as a hobby. I think [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0) sums it up for me. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121/40 "2011-06-24T09:55:35Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I was always rather sympathetic to Anne Heche. Anne Heche’s problem isn’t that she’s bisexual but that she’s generally a half bubble off plumb. You know what they say: don’t stick your strap-on into crazy. And **jamie**. while I understand that many gay men do experiment with heterosexual sex while they’re coming to terms with their sexuality, very few people would consider them “bisexual” during this phase. Usually it’s more “confused” or “figuring things out”. And either they get over it quickly and accept their orientation or they become Youth Pastors. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-bisexual-be-entirely-satisfied-in-a-monogamous-relationship/338121.md?page=3)