# Can a family refuse a public funeral/memorial for a deceased firefighter/police officer? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731 "2016-09-12T01:42:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/1 "2016-09-12T01:42:21Z")
Sorry for the long title. I’ve been watching a lot of 9/11 stuff and there were clips of elaborate processions for the dead. Coffin on top of a firetruck, bagpipes, marching units, and so on. What if the family of the deceased didn’t want that, opting instead for private services of whatever sort they themselves wanted? maybe some sort of strictly religious funeral service, or a private graveside memorial. It doesn’t matter WHY they don’t want other involvement, can they refuse? Or is there something in the job description that requires it? I’ve seen miles long processions of police cars for memorials in my city, with TV coverage from the service itself. What if the family doesn’t want to put up with that? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/2 "2016-09-12T01:44:38Z")
Nope, not required. Whatever the family wishes goes. ---
**Author:** ![Oddball\_92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b3f665/32.png) [@Oddball\_92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oddball_92)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/3 "2016-09-12T02:35:31Z")
It is what Loach said. I have known a couple of firefighters who have died and the families opted for a private service. Rare though. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/4 "2016-09-12T02:39:02Z")
Those very large funerals are for line of duty deaths as well. A young officer who dies before retirement for some non-work related reason may have a big funeral but nothing like a line of duty death. ---
**Author:** ![UDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecae2f/32.png) [@UDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UDS)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/5 "2016-09-12T03:24:21Z")
If the family wants a private funeral, there would be nothing to stop work colleagues, etc, holding a separate memorial service if they want to, and the family might be cool with this. If the family are _not_ cool with this, then I imagine work colleagues, etc, would defer to there wishes, but that’s a matter of respect, not law. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/6 "2016-09-12T03:40:53Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Nope, not required. Whatever the family wishes goes. This. At least with firefighters I know of at least two who died in the line of duty and the family kept it basically private; family and a few close friends. Plenty more if you count retired and/or causes outside of duty. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/7 "2016-09-12T04:38:02Z")
As far as law goes: use of a person’s name and/or likeness can be dictated by next-of-kin, AIUI. If however, a court finds that the name, due to news usage, has passed into “Public Domain”, they are out of luck. I would hope that common (yeah, another of those “See My UserId” things) decency would prevent usage that the family would find offensive. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2016, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-a-family-refuse-a-public-funeral-memorial-for-a-deceased-firefighter-police-officer/765731/8 "2016-09-12T04:52:25Z")
Apparently there are all sorts of variations. Recently, a long-retired firefighter died of natural causes, but he had served what ever the maximum allowed was with his unit (it’s down the street from me, which is how I know). The family used a funeral home a few blocks away from the fire house, and routed the procession past the fire house. All the firefighters stood out front, turned the lights on all the engines, and apparently some off-duty guys put on their dress uniforms and came to stand out front too. I happened to be driving by, and was among the cars that pulled over. A few days later, I was getting gas at the station next to the fire house, and I asked if it had been a line-of-duty death, because I hadn’t heard of one recently, and there were no flags at half-mast, and that’s how I heard the story. I imagine that most police officers and firefighters would want the standard treatment for themselves, and their families acknowledge this, even if they would prefer something more private.