# Can Americans ever understand Mornington Crescent? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 9, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721 "2005-03-09T21:28:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/1 "2005-03-09T21:28:17Z")
Inspired by this thread: > **[Brits: If them yanks can play chess on here, then we can play Mornington...](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=305749)** > > As I have noticed a few chess matches being played here I thought this might be a chance to allow our tea-dodging colonial cousins to see a REAL game of strategy and intellect. I’m sure I’m not the only Brit (or other) here who knows how to play the... I am at a complete and total loss for this game. Then again, not ever being to London I don’t think I can understand. Is the game Morrington Cresent anything like Mao? [http://www.pagat.com/eights/mao.html](http://www.pagat.com/eights/mao.html) What prevents a player from stating Morrington Crescent on move one? ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/2 "2005-03-09T21:32:30Z")
> [@Meeko](#): > > What prevents a player from stating Morrington Crescent on move one? Take your pick of answers: **1.** What is the sound of one hand clapping? **2.** Because they get beaten up. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/3 "2005-03-09T21:40:40Z")
Really, there’s nothing to get. It’s a joke `game’ played on the BBC radio show “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue,” and one of the high points was when someone would call up wondering about the rules. Mao does have rules, even though they aren’t set out in advance and the point is to figure them out as you go. Mornington Crescent is a joke played by those who do know on those who do not. [This is a good summary](http://everything2.com/index.pl?node=Mornington%20Crescent%20%3A%20Rules&lastnode_id=19212), if you look at the node by WyldWynd. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/4 "2005-03-09T21:54:48Z")
I **love** “I’m Sorry, I Haven’t A Clue” (or “Clue” as we aficionados call it). But I can’t be bothered with Mornington Cresent. In my opinion it’s the weakest thing in the show. Too much of the humour of it is based on a private joke. “We’re in on the joke, and others aren’t, they think it’s for real, tee hee.” That got very old, very quickly. For those who don’t know; “Mornington Cresent” has no rules, no point and isn’t a game at all. It is entirely made up as you go along. It is only giving the impression of an unbelievably complex board game based on a London map. Whoever says they have reached Mornington Cresent first wins. Anyone can say this at anytime. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/5 "2005-03-09T23:13:26Z")
Ignore the naysayers. The first rule of Mornington Crescent is don’t talk about the rules of Mornington Crescent. Not because they don’t exist, but because they’re very very complex (around seven hundred linear feet, according to the latest audit). Firstly: Don’t use a map. It’s a vocal game. (Or textual, in the case of online frivolity). Secondly: Try. As with all great British games, we welcome newcomers, as long as they’re prepared to take friendly advice. Thirdly: Don’t think of playing _Cheddar Gorge_, because the sense-of-humour-Nazis (Godwin-related-NB deliberate invocation) in this thread probably don’t understand the underlying joke, and as for _One Song to the Tune of Another_, it’s impossible to explain. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/6 "2005-03-09T23:42:42Z")
And another of the rules of MC is that you obfuscate any discussion of the game, regardless of how many people do or don’t actually want to play in that forum. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/7 "2005-03-09T23:47:08Z")
**Derleth** has the obstinance of somebody who’s never able to understand _Sound Charades_… ("_…the game of Charades is older than language itself…_") ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/8 "2005-03-09T23:51:09Z")
When I first saw the phrase ‘Mornington Crescent’, I thought it was the female version of ‘morning wood’. ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/9 "2005-03-10T00:36:45Z")
I’m changing my name to Samantha 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/10 "2005-03-10T03:08:04Z")
While I don’t want to give too much away, it assists with understanding the attitude of **Derleth** to know that it was his very poor behaviour in the quarter finals of the Bexhill Cup in '96 that forced the amendments that became known as the Montana Protocol, thereby bringing to a timely halt his frankly unsporting carryings-on. He’s been peevish ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/11 "2005-03-10T03:27:55Z")
In the interests of making things clear once again, this is all (an attempt at) a joke. It isn’t worth my time to respond to everyone who has posted after me, but note the complete lack of actual discussion of rules and the preponderance of vague allusions and obfuscatory cant. Fun is fun, but when someone asks for information in GQ it behooves us all to not make the poor sucker even more confused. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/12 "2005-03-10T03:50:55Z")
Thanks for confirming that **Derleth**. I thought as much when I read the other post and noticed that everyone was happy to refer to variations on the rules while no was prepared to actually link to them. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/13 "2005-03-10T05:11:39Z")
The lengths that **Derleth** will go to slag off a game that has spurned him… ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/14 "2005-03-10T05:14:07Z")
I hate giving away the joke, [but here is a good explanation.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mornington_Crescent_%28game%29) ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/15 "2005-03-10T06:21:18Z")
The basic rulebook runs to well over a hundred volumes, none of which is available online, so we can’t link to it. Try asking your local library if they have a copy. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/16 "2005-03-10T06:28:41Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > The basic rulebook runs to well over a hundred volumes, none of which is available online, so we can’t link to it. Try asking your local library if they have a copy. Certainly. I’ll swing by North Sydney library on my way home from work in a few minutes’ time. While I’m there I’ll check the Peerage for details of Viscount Rumbledown (of the famous East London manoeuvre). ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/17 "2005-03-10T13:56:41Z")
I think **NinjaChick** put best, in the original thread… > [@NinjaChick](#): > > Is this, like…British Calvinball? ---
**Author:** ![paperbackwriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@paperbackwriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/paperbackwriter)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/18 "2005-03-10T17:55:11Z")
British Calvinball is an excellent summary. The fun lies not in “Hee Hee, they think it’s a real game. Ho ho!” It actually has become a real game, or rather, a meta-game. In Calvin & Hobbes, they were always arguing about the new rules, and the more outrageous the better. MC is similar in that regard. If a MC game went like this: Archway Elephant & Castle Ickenham Deptford Bridge Rotherhithe etc. It wouldn’t be much fun. What fun is there in shouting (or writing) station names? The fun is in making up the rules and allusions and history, the more circumflected the better. **ianzin** ’s posts are examples of this. It’s a weird sense of humor, admittedly. It’s similar, in a way, to hacker humor that depends on form-versus-content conflicts. A secondary source of amusement is the actual names of the stations. While, say, Blackhorse Road is rather staid, names like Elephant & Castle, Tooting Bec, Tooting Broadway, Swiss Cottage, Maida Vale, and others are eccentric, to say the least. ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/19 "2005-03-10T18:54:19Z")
> [@paperbackwriter](#): > > A secondary source of amusement is the actual names of the stations. While, say, Blackhorse Road is rather staid, names like Elephant & Castle, Tooting Bec, Tooting Broadway, Swiss Cottage, Maida Vale, and others are eccentric, to say the least. Absolutely. A clearly-enunciated **Cockfosters** can be priceless. As can be a mumbled **Gants Hill** ---
**Author:** ![owlstretchingtime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/958977/32.png) [@owlstretchingtime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/owlstretchingtime)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721/20 "2005-03-11T11:46:19Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > In the interests of making things clear once again, this is all (an attempt at) a joke. It isn’t worth my time to respond to everyone who has posted after me, but note the complete lack of actual discussion of rules and the preponderance of vague allusions and obfuscatory cant. > > Fun is fun, but when someone asks for information in GQ it behooves us all to not make the poor sucker even more confused. Are you Mrs Trellis from North Wales? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-americans-ever-understand-mornington-crescent/293721.md?page=2)