# Can Christians use secular dating sites? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 18, 2015, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007 "2015-04-18T20:47:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/21 "2015-04-19T05:00:15Z")
I prefer the old ways. If you can land a rose on the head or in the hat of the Pope on Saint Valentines Day he has a year to find you a wife or you get into heaven, no questions asked. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/22 "2015-04-19T05:19:41Z")
OP: are you female? While the secular sites vary in their terms of service I believe that at least on some of them you will receive sexual advances which you might find very offensive. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/23 "2015-04-19T13:31:03Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > OP: are you female? While the secular sites vary in their terms of service I believe that at least on some of them you will receive sexual advances which you might find very offensive. Your statement carries the implication that such behavior can’t / won’t happen on overtly christian sites. I have no data, but I question that implication. Jerks are everywhere in varying densities. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/24 "2015-04-19T13:52:11Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > Dammit, you know perfectly well you’re not supposed to talk about the Bradford Team Incident! **NO ONE CAN PROVE I DID IT!** :mad: ---
**Author:** ![skdo23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@skdo23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skdo23)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/25 "2015-04-19T14:36:23Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > If using a secular site, is it not possible to include religious beliefs and preferences in the match criteria? If so, would that not suffice? Even on the Christian sites, a Pre-Trib, Pre-Millennial, Dispensationalist could still bump into a Post-Milennialist or even a Papist, so those sites do not guarantee a rapturous marriage. [Match.com](http://Match.com) allows you to choose just about every religion, and lack thereof, that I’m familiar with when creating a profile, or as search criteria when searching for potential matches. There are three Christian options; Christian/Protestant, Christian/Catholic, and Christian/Other (Latvian Orthodox, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/26 "2015-04-19T15:35:07Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Since most people self-identify as Christian (at least here in the US), it seems to me that limiting oneself to overtly Christian sites is limiting unless you’re looking for someone who is uber-devout. And if I was looking for someone uber-devout, I’d look for them in my Church - after all, those tend to be the people most likely to believe that the people from the denomination or parish three hundred yards over are a bunch of heathens. Every American I met who self-identified as “Christian” rather than giving a denomination seemed to be part of some supermegamicrochurch and either hellbent in saving the rest of us or very busy looking down his nose at us. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/27 "2015-04-19T20:44:01Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Christians may—_may_—have a better chance of finding someone who shares their faith and values on a dating site that explicitly bills itself as Christian, but there’s no guarantee. The only real way to kno whether someone shares your faith and values is by getting to know them. People on explicitly Christian dating sites are more likely to have it as a core part of their identities than people on general sites, even when they identify as Christian. Plus there’s a not uncommon viewpoint that anything not explicitly Christian is of Satan. > [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > The overwhelming majority of Americans are Christian, though not necessarily evangelical or even particularly devout. Most Americans are born into heavily Christian environments, however devout they/their parents may actually be. To put it in activistese, Christianity is unmarked. So people who’ve ever given religion any thought are likely to identify as Christian whn the topic arises. My dating days are long behind me, but I seem to recall OKCupid has an option not just for religion, but for how big a part of your life it is. On the other hand, Christians of a certain type aren’t going to use a site with a pagan deity in its name. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/28 "2015-04-20T06:49:23Z")
I only want to date Christians, either Slater or Danish kings. > [@Princhester](#): > > How does one get rejected by eHarmony? Supposedly, have “undesirable” traits like signs of depression. I was rejected when I did the tests practically a decade ago, although I wasn’t trying (psychometrics kick). > [@Nava](#): > > And if I was looking for someone uber-devout, I’d look for them in my Church - after all, those tend to be the people most likely to believe that the people from the denomination or parish three hundred yards over are a bunch of heathens. > > Every American I met who self-identified as “Christian” rather than giving a denomination seemed to be part of some supermegamicrochurch and either hellbent in saving the rest of us or very busy looking down his nose at us. Yeah either that or Christian by default. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/29 "2015-04-20T11:57:08Z")
Plenty of Christians were on tinder: Joan of Arc, Jan Hus, William Tyndale. And they all got a match. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/30 "2015-04-20T13:56:39Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > How does one get rejected by eHarmony? This, for one [http://randomfunnypicture.com/random-funny-pictures/eHarmony-What-do-you-Like-Most-in-a-Woman-My-Dick/](http://randomfunnypicture.com/random-funny-pictures/eHarmony-What-do-you-Like-Most-in-a-Woman-My-Dick/) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/31 "2015-04-20T14:03:39Z")
> [@jgreen](#): > > “Some have argued that if you’re a believer you should…” People who like to tell others what believers/Christians/etc. should or should not do don’t really know, they just THINK they know. And of course they (think they) know that they are always right and everyone else is wrong. I would advise ignoring them. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/32 "2015-04-20T14:09:48Z")
Most of the means of meeting prospective partners throughout history have been secular. Why should that change now? You might go for a walk in a secular park and meet someone there. You might work at a secular business and meet someone at work. A mutual friend might set you up with someone else that they know. You might be neighbors with someone. None of these will limit you to only religious partners, but presumably, that’s something you find out pretty quickly in the process of getting to know each other. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/33 "2015-04-20T14:13:00Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > If using a secular site, is it not possible to include religious beliefs and preferences in the match criteria? If so, would that not suffice? Even on the Christian sites, a Pre-Trib, Pre-Millennial, Dispensationalist could still bump into a Post-Milennialist or even a Papist, so those sites do not guarantee a rapturous marriage. I see what you did.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/34 "2015-04-20T17:52:44Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > It could be that the OP is using the term “Christian” to mean Born Again or Evangelical where being Christian is a huge part of your identity. I have cousins that are like this. When they say “Christian”, they don’t mean your everyday Christians, but _ **Christians!!** _ I suspect you’re right- I’d guess that probably 80-90% of the people on the secular sites self-identify as christian (lower-case c), as in go to church a couple times a year, and at weddings and funerals, but the OP is probably meaning extra-cultishly devout Christians! who wear it on their sleeves and have this odd habit of winding it into all facets of their lives, and doing their best to let NOTHING go by without some sort of reminder of Christ, etc… ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/35 "2015-04-20T20:59:45Z")
eHarmony _does_ reject a high percentage of applicants. I filled out an application just to find out if they’d reject me, after a thread about it on the Dope a decade ago. I met my husband there, so it wasn’t time wasted. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007/36 "2015-04-20T23:31:37Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Most of the means of meeting prospective partners throughout history have been secular. Why should that change now? You might go for a walk in a secular park and meet someone there. You might work at a secular business and meet someone at work. A mutual friend might set you up with someone else that they know. You might be neighbors with someone. I wouldn’t be so confident of this. Humans are very religious things, and religion is the community centre for a very large proportion of - if not probably most - societies. Secularism as a dominant social trend is relatively new and even now is limited to Western Europe, Aus/NZ and parts of the US and Asia. In Christian countries up until very recently, going to Church on Sunday, Church dances etc were the major social occasions. People didn’t wear “Sunday Best” because they were concerned about their deity seeing them in a frayed collar. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-christians-use-secular-dating-sites/718007.md?page=1)