Can depression make you a dick?

[InterestedObserver]

@Gozu

Thank you for your answers. It is profoundly disturbing to hear that our personality traits and the way we treat other people are largely dependant on some delicate chemical balance in our brains.

I always thought that Marvin, from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, was annoying. Now, I see that he is perhaps the most tragic character in the history of fiction.

Well, I wouldn’t go that far, actually. I think sometimes depression can be the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain, but more often, imo, it is a result of situations that fucking DEPRESS US…things about our life we feel depressed about, and that FEELING and THINKING can RESULT in a chemical imbalance in the brain/body, and the beat goes on…

I’ve been depressed a few times. I recognized this vicious circle in myself and was able to pull out of it by changing my situation, thoughts, attitude.

I’ve known many who experienced depression, and many of them confided that it was some circumstance of their life at the time that was the root cause…that they took meds just to be able to deal with whatever it was they otherwise couldn’t or wouldn’t deal with (bad relationship, hated their job, loss of someone signifigant they were struggling over, generally not happy with their LIFE in general)

We DON’T always have to be happy to be “OK”…it is OK to be sad sometimes. And sometimes, we NEED to be sad…it is the way we tell ourselves to CHANGE whatever it is that is making us so miserable already OR is just a natural grieving process we don’t have to rush through or mask with denial or drugs. (though sometimes drugs can help us break the cycle)

Anyway, my late husband went through some severe episodes of depression, and YES, it made him a total and utter DICK. He was a wonderful man overall, and we spent 23 yrs together, mostly very happily, but during the few times he was depressed, he was fucking miserable and he made damn sure everyone else was as well. It was absolute hell.

The last period was leading up to his death (from a chronic, genetic illness) and I had to tell the kids more than once, “You know, your dad really loves you, he is just sick, scared, sad, and very unhappy right now.” Yes, it made him a “dick” when he really wasn’t one. But it wasn’t some “chemical imbalance” in his brain that was the cause…it was his depression over knowing he was dying and having a very hard time dealing with that reality. I’m sure a chemical imbalance RESULTED, but it didn’t initiate the problem.

Yes, he lashed out primarily in anger and irritability. Only a few times in tears and sadness.

BTW, I love Marvin…

[Indistinguishable]

I don’t know terribly much about the science of depression, but here’s one thing I’m curious about: if one has chronic depression stemming from actual depressing situations (e.g., being depressed over a chronic illness that you aren’t able to make go away), does this actually involve the kind of chemical imbalances often said to be responsible for depression?

And, out of curiosity, if not, does that presumably mean that antidepressants would not be effective in such a situation? Not that I know anything about how effective antidepressants are in general.

[InterestedObserver]

Well, some recent studies have found some antidepressants to be completely ineffective, but assuming some DO “work”, I think it is often a case of masking the underlying problem…perhaps (because so often they advertise them with such statements as “it is thought to work by this mechanism”…they don’t really KNOW how or why or often IF they work) because everything just seems better when you are high. :rolleyes:

I stated my personal theory; that the chemical imbalnces blamed as the “cause” of depression are often, if not typically, the RESULT of depression. It is a fundamental debate. Which came first, the chicken or the egg, the depressing situation/thoughts/feelings or the chemical imbalance in the brain?

I am just speaking from my own experience as having been depressed (clinically) and of knowing someone who was also for a time and how he came to be and how he reacted to it.

As I said, I think some can and do benefit from drugs, often in conjunction with therapy and changes in their situation, but I personally doubt that drugs alone, even if they CAN be shown to resolve some chemical imbalance, can solve the issue of depression. If your life is shit and your thinking and feelings are predominately negative, that will continue to affect your body/brain chemistry, and if the drugs are stopped, the “imbalance” will reoccur.

[NineToTheSky]

I have had chronic depression for about ten years, and have been prescribed almost every anti-depressant known to man; none have had any beneficial effect.

Before I had depression, I wasn’t aware that anyone thought I was dick. Since having it, my only interaction with people (outside my family) has been here on the Dope. I know that several people here think I’m a dick. So yes.

[rivulus]

Yes, depression can make you a dick.

Depression is, in my experience, a most insidious disease. It manages to counteract everything that would help you out of it:
[ul]
[li]Exercise can help fight depression – depression makes you too damn tired to move and, besides, everything hurts[/li][li]Getting out of the house and doing something helps – depression makes you want to crawl in a hole and isolate yourself[/li][li]Getting out of a depressing situation helps – depression crushes your motivation so you can’t make moves to get out[/li][li]Socializing with friends helps – depression makes you a self-centered dick, so your friends don’t want to hang around anymore[/li][li]Positive thoughts and attitudes help – depression gives you an intensely negative view of life, the universe, and everything (poor Marvin)[/li][li]Music can help your mood – depression makes anything but depressing music seem trite[/li][li]Getting caught up in something interesting helps – depression makes everything seem pointless and boring[/li][li]Acting “as if” helps (sometimes acting as if you are happy, motivated, whatever can actually help you feel that way) – depression makes you think “what’s the point?”[/li][/ul]

Circling black hole, depression is.

Oddly enough, I’m not depressed anymore. But I can’t for the life of me figure out what short-circuited the cycle. Eventually, I just stepped out of the cloud.

[TruCelt]

@Kobal2

in the sense that you don’t make a conscious effort to mask, hide, moderate or temper your inner dickness anymore.

LOL! this is great! But it leads us to the existential question - are we all really dicks, some of whom have learned to act well? Or are there some people who are actually born nice?

[TruCelt]

@Khadaji

Yes, depression may make you a dick. In fact, when I’m depressed, it is a conscious effort to *not *be a dick. When I’m depressed, I just don’t give a shit about anything. Everything is an effort, even and sometimes especially being pleasant. Everyone else seem like they are intruding. It is only because, intellectually, I know that when I’m better I will regret my actions that I try to remain pleasant.

See, this is my point. Kh’s basic personality/values/priorities include taking responsibility for the effect on other people. So a strong effort is made to avoid causing pain. There is also the basic wisdom to look down the road and recognize consequences (i.e. maturity).

If the depressive is also narcissistic then no such effort is made. And even if you heal/treat the depression, you are still left with a narcissist. A charming narcissist is better than a grumpy one, but still no treat to live with. Same with the immature.

[TruCelt]

Argh, is it possible to get a longer edit window if I bring a doctor’s note saying that I am chronically slow to recognize my own mistakes? LOL!

I wanted add that I do concede there is a point of severity at which the sufferer is just no longer capable of filtering his/her own actions. These are generally people who are committing grave sins of omission, like not speaking to loved ones, or showing up for work regularly. If you have the capacity to be and active dick though, you still have the strength to fight the urge.

[Huerta88]

Depressed people tend to think only of their own all-consuming depression and problems. It doesn’t encourage outward-looking. Given that our social contract at least implicitly requires a fair amount of give-and-take as far as focusing on us versus focusing on others, to the extent depression leads the sufferer to neglect the proportion of sympathy, listending, consoling, advising that he does for his friends and family in favor of only making demands on them for same to him, that could be viewed as selfish and one-sided and hence a jackass move. I can think of various instances in which I spent weeks patiently listening to and offering suggestions for friends’ problems, insecurities, gloom, and then stopped by to chat or to ask a small favor and been pretty brusquely dismissed. To the depressed person, it’s easy to think like a hospital patient – why on earth would the patient jump up and start serving the nurse? To the extent a depressed person takes on a caretake-ee mentality, yeah, they may be viewed as tantamount to kind of user jerks, as patients (me included) generally tend to be.

Also, without opening a can of worms about biology vs. personality, there are clearly, for some people who aren’t gravely, clinically, hereditarily depressed, cusp points at which minor unhappiness can be worked through or around, or can be indulged and nurtured. To the extent we’ve all seen (and been guilty of, probably) the wallowing-in-gloom-when-you-really-don’t-have-to person, again, irritation can set in at their almost-conscious decision to indulge in self-pity (note again that I am not in any way saying all depression is self-pity; I’m thinking more along the lines of Marcus Aurelius constantly, and with some success, chiding himself not to be such a baby about minor things).

Finally, I have met some depressive people who have had the experience make them nicer, as they have made a go of the whole think-about-other-people’s-problems-not-yours axiom. I’ve tried this myself, as I’ve had a fairly crappy few months at work but have spent a lot of time trying to help (or at least listen to) friends and colleagues who have outright lost their jobs. It is a distraction and while I’m no Samaritan I may actually have come across as more concerned and sympathetic the last few months than I usually do.

[Guinastasia]

@cromulent

According to the Cleveland Clinic’s website (and this is something I’ve heard from several other sources too) evidence shows that men are more likely to express anger as a result of depression:

“The observable symptoms of male depression are not as well understood as those in women. Men are less likely to show “typical” signs of depression, such as crying, sadness, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, or verbally expressing thoughts of suicide. Instead, men are more likely to keep their feelings hidden, but may become more irritable and aggressive.”

In other words… men are more likely to act “like dicks” when depressed than are women.

I was a right bitch when I was depressed. Don’t get me wrong – I still cried, lost interest in my favorite things, and tended to spend most of my time alone, just kind of wallowing. But I also would lash out and get nasty like nobody’s business.
(Hell, I’m a real bitch when I’m sick in general.)

[panache45]

@cromulent

According to the Cleveland Clinic’s website (and this is something I’ve heard from several other sources too) evidence shows that men are more likely to express anger as a result of depression:

“The observable symptoms of male depression are not as well understood as those in women. Men are less likely to show “typical” signs of depression, such as crying, sadness, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, or verbally expressing thoughts of suicide. Instead, men are more likely to keep their feelings hidden, but may become more irritable and aggressive.”

In other words… men are more likely to act “like dicks” when depressed than are women.

This. I’ve had chronic depression since puberty, about 50 years now. It manifests itself in many different ways, and one of them is an overly sensitive irritability. In time, you learn coping mechanisms, but it’s always just beneath the surface.

This doesn’t mean, though, that I go out of my way to deliberately be a dick. That’s something else entirely.