# can excessive masterbation cause...anyhing? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 4, 2002, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239 "2002-05-04T11:55:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/21 "2002-05-04T21:35:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Bird \* > \*\*A big, giant mess. On the wall–if you’re a real man… 😉 \*\* Bah, if you’re a _real_ man, the ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/22 "2002-05-04T21:55:57Z")
the _ceiling_?!? ha! if you are a _ **real** _ man, damn plaster lathe means NOTHING. watch out Sputnik, here i come… jb ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/23 "2002-05-04T22:32:55Z")
Callouses. ---
**Author:** ![stockton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2002, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/24 "2002-05-04T23:44:42Z")
posted by jbfarley: \<\\> Sputnik? Bah. Who do you think REALLY messed up the Hubbard telescope? Jupiter’s next, here I cum! ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/25 "2002-05-05T00:02:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Jupiter’s next, here I cum! wow, so that’s what 2001 was all about! hmmm. all the universe needs is some big black ‘monolith’? jb p.s.- ‘Hubble’ ---
**Author:** ![stockton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/26 "2002-05-05T03:15:12Z")
jb sez: \<\\> Ummmmmm… I was talkin’ about the OTHER big telescope out in space that no one’s heard about yet… Ummm… Yeah… ::shuffles off, muttering. Two mush masterbasion…:: ---
**Author:** ![abel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@abel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abel)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/27 "2002-05-05T06:07:48Z")
[http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/study.htm](http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/study.htm) ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/28 "2002-05-05T07:36:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Big Kahuna Burger \* > \*\*How would “excessive” be defined? \*\* Right. I don’t understand the question. ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/29 "2002-05-05T07:44:30Z")
I’m not a doctor or anything, but I think it _is_ possible that excessive masturbation can make your penis somewhat crooked. Maybe if you alternate left-handed/right-handed each time they will cancel each other out and it will stay straight. ---
**Author:** ![jb\_farley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9d8465/32.png) [@jb\_farley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jb_farley)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/30 "2002-05-05T09:55:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > \*\*Maybe if you alternate left-handed/right-handed each time they will cancel each other out and it will stay straight. \*\* [miagi] wacks on, wacks off [/miagi] ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/31 "2002-05-05T15:40:33Z")
I’m surprised no one mentioned the woman working at a phone sex hotline who _successfully_ sued her company because she had masturbated so much at work, she ended up with carpal tunnel syndrome. Ugh…I just searched Google every which way and could not find an article about this woman (dammit! and I _know_ it happened…it’s been a year or two now), but man, you want to read some weird stuff…search Google using “masturbate” and “lawsuit.” ---
**Author:** ![Mephisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mephisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mephisto)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/32 "2002-05-05T18:42:14Z")
I heard the same thing **Ruffian** did about the masturbating phone-sex woman; the story got on TV and the radio where I live. Anyway. It seems as though sex and/or masturbation could aggravate a lot of problems that might already exist. I know that I’ve had various medical problems (an injured this, an inflamed that–I’ll spare you all the details), and that sex made the attendent pain even worse. That said, my seventh grade health teacher assured us during our thirty second block of instruction on masturbation that jacking off was perfectly normal and that it would never cause any real health problems. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/33 "2002-05-05T21:48:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Surreal \* > \*\*I’m not a doctor or anything, but I think it _is_ possible that excessive masturbation can make your penis somewhat crooked. Maybe if you alternate left-handed/right-handed each time they will cancel each other out and it will stay straight. \*\* [debunk]Untrue. Peyronie’s disease can cause this, but not excessive masturbation. Whacking off so hard you break your penis is not excessive masturbation, it’s clumsy or ill-advised masturbation[/debunk] ---
**Author:** ![Nevermind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/53a042/32.png) [@Nevermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nevermind)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/34 "2002-05-06T02:36:23Z")
Am I the only one that finds it hysterically funny that **chrisb** 69 's first post is about masturbation?😃 ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/35 "2002-05-06T03:40:33Z")
Do you guys mean to tell me that the girl on the other end of the phone-sex line is _actually masturbating_??? ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/36 "2002-05-06T05:40:58Z")
(whispering…) With the certain technique I always use, I get hand cramps sometimes if I’m really on a roll… I think that’s the most personal thing I’ve told on this message board. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/37 "2002-05-06T09:29:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Jupiter’s next, here I cum! You only cum to Jupiter? Ha! I can do it beyond the infinite! ---
**Author:** ![yo\_han\_go](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yo_han_go/32/130_2.png) [@yo\_han\_go](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yo_han_go)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/38 "2002-05-06T10:43:50Z")
Uranus is next. Here I cum! Tee-hee. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/39 "2002-05-06T14:15:39Z")
How did masturbation cause her tunnel to become reminiscent of carp? ---
**Author:** ![Jdeforrest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@Jdeforrest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jdeforrest)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239/40 "2002-05-06T17:29:39Z")
It all started innocently…a couple minutes here, a couple minutes there. Next thing I knew, I was up to a box of Kleenex a day, then two, then three. Now I spend almost all my time alone in the bathroom. Sure, I’ve tried to quit…but I always come back (no pun intended of course). Who am I really hurting anyway? Things have gotten progressively worse. I’ve moved my refrigerator and tv into the bathroom so I don’t even have to go out anymore. Almost all my money has been spent on tissues. I’m thinking of resorting to stealing to help fund my habit, but that means I will have to leave my beloved bathroom. My social life is completely gone and I think my cat may be dead since I haven’t left the bathroom for over two weeks. I just don’t know how much longer things can continue this way… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-excessive-masterbation-cause-anyhing/107239.md?page=3)