# can i bang my head now **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273 "2013-03-29T17:00:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/1 "2013-03-29T17:00:22Z")
So this friend calls me today. She asks me how I think she’s doing in a certain aspect of her life, do I think she’s doing better. I say yes, she is better and compared to where she was before she has made a lot of improvement. She gets all huffy with me and says… ‘_where I was before has nothing to do with it, I’m not looking for a comparison, I only want to know if I am getting better_’. I said ‘Ok, you’re better’. Silly me for thinking better means a comparison. I guess better is better just because it’s better. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/2 "2013-03-29T17:03:30Z")
Wow. After a party I told my girlfriend that all of her friends are smart, fun, and good-looking. She got PISSED. “How can you say that about my friends?!?” The more I tried to explain, the more pissed she got. To this day I have no idea what was going through her head. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/3 "2013-03-29T17:05:03Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Wow. > > After a party I told my girlfriend that all of her friends are smart, fun, and good-looking. She got PISSED. “How can you say that about my friends?!?” The more I tried to explain, the more pissed she got. > > To this day I have no idea what was going through her head. WAG: She thought that meant you lusted after her friends. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/4 "2013-03-29T17:12:26Z")
The phrase ‘How can you say that about my friends?’ seems to imply something negative was said. Maybe she prefers dumb, boring, ugly friends. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/5 "2013-03-29T17:12:55Z")
“‘getting better’ as compared to what now?” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/6 "2013-03-29T17:14:38Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > ‘_where I was before has nothing to do with it, I’m not looking for a comparison, I only want to know if I am getting better_’. “I was going to say yes. Now I’m not so sure.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/7 "2013-03-29T17:28:21Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > She gets all huffy with me and says… > ‘_where I was before has nothing to do with it, I’m not looking for a comparison, I only want to know if I am getting better_’. The only thing I can think is she means she doesn’t want to rehash details of where she used to be, especially if it was really bad or painful. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/8 "2013-03-29T17:47:11Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > The phrase > ‘How can you say that about my friends?’ seems to imply something negative was said. Yeah, she thought I was insulting them. My best guess is that when I said “I think your friends are”, she thought I was going to insult them, and filtered out the rest. Then she couldn’t unstuck the idea. **sahirrnee** , maybe your friend was similarly stuck, thinking that you were still judging her “before” life. Defensive people often create a reality that is far stronger than reality. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/9 "2013-03-29T17:53:30Z")
Stop giving advice to people who don’t want to hear it. Even if they ask you. You’ll be much happier. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/10 "2013-03-29T18:15:23Z")
“I reject your reality and substitute it with my own.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/11 "2013-03-29T18:25:04Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Stop giving advice to people who don’t want to hear it. Even if they ask you. You’ll be much happier. Is that your advice? Well I don’t want to hear it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/12 "2013-03-29T19:43:08Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > “I reject your reality and substitute it with my own.” 😃 Said most of the internet. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/13 "2013-03-29T20:22:55Z")
^^^ This !!! ---
**Author:** ![ptr2void](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ptr2void/32/3406_2.png) [@ptr2void](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ptr2void)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/14 "2013-03-30T09:08:35Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Said most of the internet. And my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/15 "2013-03-31T00:56:19Z")
> [@GusNSpot](#): > > ^^^ This !!! You forgot the “God bless you and James, always!!! 🙂 🙂 :)” No cookie for you!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bang-my-head-now/654273/16 "2013-03-31T01:02:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Wow. > > After a party I told my girlfriend that all of her friends are smart, fun, and good-looking. She got PISSED. “How can you say that about my friends?!?” The more I tried to explain, the more pissed she got. > > To this day I have no idea what was going through her head. Did you dump the crazy lady?