# Can I bring my newborn baby to someone else's baby shower? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 25, 2010, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042 "2010-09-25T21:42:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/1 "2010-09-25T21:42:45Z")
Leaving him at home isn’t really an option as he feeds pretty well constantly and doesn’t seem to have the hang of a bottle yet. I was invited, and the mom in question knows I have a newborn. Also, she’s invited to my shower a week later and I hope she brings her little guy. HOWEVER, it seems kind of douchy - like I’m trying to steal her thunder. Or her baby kanoodles. Or whatever. So - what say you? FWIW, if the feeling is not to bring my baby, I’ll just skip it and send a gift instead. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/2 "2010-09-25T21:49:47Z")
It should be obvious to her that generally newborns and moms can’t be apart. However, that is not actually obvious to many people. In any case, the answer is even more obvious - ask the host. If you say, “I just wanted to see if this was OK, because I can’t really come if I can’t bring the baby,” in a pleasant, matter-of-fact manner, I can’t see how that is rude or anything. Likewise, you should tell her explicitly that her baby is welcome at your shindig, if you are the one in control of that. But more importantly let me say, congratulations! Yay babies! ---
**Author:** ![impatien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c89c15/32.png) [@impatien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/impatien)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/3 "2010-09-25T22:50:36Z")
I cannot even imagine why that would ever be a problem. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/4 "2010-09-25T23:30:38Z")
Most baby showers I’ve been to have had babies and children running all over the place. She’s had her baby already, right? So he will be there? Are the same people coming to both showers? How far from home is the shower? Are you absolutely sure there is no way dad could cope for an hour? She knows you have a newborn. If you call and ask if you can bring the baby, she won’t tell you no, no matter how she feels. Will everyone else there be expecting to see the baby,or are most of them her family who don’t know you? I wouldn’t mind if someone brought their baby,but you know your friend better…does she prefer to be the center of attention? ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/5 "2010-09-25T23:43:21Z")
I’d just call the host and ask whether it’s OK - most people would expect you to be bringing a newborn if they’ve invited you. Slightly off topic - every baby shower I’d heard of is before the baby’s born - but the OP mentions both her friend’s and hers will be with the relevant baby attending. Is this common? ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/6 "2010-09-25T23:46:08Z")
I agree with those who say to call and talk with her about it. I can’t imagine she would mind, especially when you tell her that you want her to bring her newborn to your shower. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/7 "2010-09-26T00:28:04Z")
Baby showers almost always have babies, because expectant mothers are usually of an age to have friends who have babies. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/8 "2010-09-26T02:03:04Z")
Unless this is a formal event, like a wedding or funeral, or an explicitly adults-only event (party at a bar or club, wine tasting, paintball tournament, et cetera), it can be pretty much assumed and accepted that mothers will bring infants or toddlers unless the invitation says explicitly otherwise. If you want to be certain, you should contact the host and ask about accommodations for infants, but I think it unlikely you’ll be the only guest to bring a newfling, unless all of her other guests are motorcycle gang members and escapees from a retirement home. As for trying to steal her thunder, I have to admit an ignorance about all things pertaining to the internal operation of the female mind, but it has been my observational experience that the presence of infants serves only to make women more enthused about the prospect of more babies, to a point of frenzy. I daresay you’re doing the guest of honor no harm in regard to upstaging by bringing your youngling, unless of course he is going to entertain all with an imitation of Giacomo Vaghi performing Lucia di Lammermoor. That would be a hard act to follow, especially since your child has a few months head start on the competition. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/9 "2010-09-26T03:34:56Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > Slightly off topic - every baby shower I’d heard of is before the baby’s born - but the OP mentions both her friend’s and hers will be with the relevant baby attending. Is this common? Well the girls at work had a shower before he was born - this is more of an open house so people can meet him and pass him around like a football. I’ve never been like this but I’ve had many woman demand to hold him 'cus holding a baby is the best thing ever, even if it’s not yours. **Stranger** , Tyler is actually only about a week older than the guest of honour so they would likely be doing a duet, not an aria. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/10 "2010-09-26T03:59:44Z")
You cannot bring a newborn baby anywhere because they are slobbery and poopy and gross and a real bring down. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/11 "2010-09-26T05:01:55Z")
> [@voguevixen](#): > > You cannot bring a newborn baby anywhere because they are slobbery and poopy and gross and a real bring down. Although, to be frank, this is true with many adults as well. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/12 "2010-09-26T13:28:29Z")
Yes you can. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/13 "2010-09-26T15:09:26Z")
I can’t imagine why not! It’s a baby shower, not a bachelorette party with a wanna-be Chippendale. Every baby shower I’ve been to had at least one mom with her new baby; it was mostly close friends and relatives getting together, and if a mom left her baby home, you’d hear wailing, “why didn’t you bring your little one, we all wanted to see him!” Unless the mom wants an afternoon out with people, without her little barnacle, I would say it’s fine to bring him/her. Maybe you’d want to call and ask first, but who is going to say “NO, adults only, you’ll have to leave that baby at home!” ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/14 "2010-09-26T19:25:26Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > I’d just call the host and ask whether it’s OK - most people would expect you to be bringing a newborn if they’ve invited you. > > Slightly off topic - every baby shower I’d heard of is before the baby’s born - but the OP mentions both her friend’s and hers will be with the relevant baby attending. Is this common? I don’t know about the situation in the OP’s case, but I know that in Chinese families (my wife is Chinese) the tradition is to hold a party with gifts a couple of months after the baby is born. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/15 "2010-09-26T22:23:57Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > > [@voguevixen](#): > > > > You cannot bring a newborn baby anywhere because they are slobbery and poopy and gross and a real bring down. > > Although, to be frank, this is true with many adults as well. > > Stranger So, are we calling this a \*bad \*thing??? Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/16 "2010-09-27T15:37:48Z")
I thought baby showers were given, before the baby arrived. If an event is held after the baby arrives, it is more commonly called a “sip 'n see”. Oh, and ETA - definitely bring your baby. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/17 "2010-09-27T18:17:46Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > HOWEVER, it seems kind of douchy - like I’m trying to steal her thunder. Or her baby kanoodles. Or whatever. Seriously? The existence of babies in the world steals her thunder? Heck, might as well give it all up. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/18 "2010-09-27T19:00:46Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > > [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > > > HOWEVER, it seems kind of douchy - like I’m trying to steal her thunder. Or her baby kanoodles. Or whatever. > > Seriously? The existence of babies in the world steals her thunder? Heck, might as well give it all up. Well, not the mere existence of babies in the world. However, when there’s a party to honour her baby maybe it’s rude for me to bring my baby, particularly since my baby is cuter. :D:D That’s a joke, BTW. As my husband and I discussed while I was still preggers - even if baby was totally funny looking he and I would have no idea at all and her baby is very, very cute. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/19 "2010-09-27T19:07:07Z")
Yes, you can. However, it’s also expected that you pass him/her around to anyone who wants asks to hold him/her. Them’s the rules. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042/20 "2010-09-27T21:52:39Z")
Just how oversensitive and selfish would a new Mom have to be to ban other babies from her baby shower? I doubt there’s anyone like that - at least anyone who has friends. So don’t worry, and have fun. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-bring-my-newborn-baby-to-someone-elses-baby-shower/555042.md?page=2)