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- Now that’s just silly. For what all that would cost, you could probably just buy a black-market chimpanzee and teach it to use a garden machete on unaccompanied strangers.
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- Now that’s just silly. For what all that would cost, you could probably just buy a black-market chimpanzee and teach it to use a garden machete on unaccompanied strangers.
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Now surely, the cities that have restrictions on dangerous & noxious weeds would also restrict non-domesticated and vicious pets!
Is there something about this OP that causes people to make silly responses, instead of giving the the answers he was seeking? This is GQ right, not MPSIMS?
Well, at least no one has suggested hooking up an automated 1920’s style “Death Ray” to discourage trespassers.
Hmmm, hey ** kanicbird **, I have this idea that will really keep those people away . . . 
Interestingly, Poison Oak was brought back to England and planted in gardens in the 19th century because of its vining habit and also due to its intense red fall coloration (as pretty a bright red, almost vermillion in color).
Normally it forms short thickets, but here in Monterey when it winds up against a pine tree, they become vines and can climb 60 feet up the tree, covering it in vines and leaves.
I remember back in the '80s or so the Marine Corps was purchasing a plant they referred to as the “pain and terror bush” which had two-inch thorns, formed a thick hedge, and was strong enough to stop a jeep. This is probably the same plant DougC mentioned. I haven’t been able to find a source or a cite because searching for “pain terror bush” yields unfortunate results these days.
For a minimalist solution, you might just post a sign which said something like “sewage outflow recovery area”. This might be particularly effective along with the sprinklers.