# Can I date a High Schooler? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 25, 2008, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389 "2008-11-25T04:29:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/201 "2008-11-27T14:15:59Z")
> [@Sanity\_Challenged](#): > > Date her? Why bother? Just take her behind the woodshed and diddle her like a normal pedophile. [Stern Moderator Admonition]Watch it-you’ve been here long enough to know that posts like this are inappropriate outside of The BBQ Pit.[/Stern Moderator Admonition] ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/202 "2008-11-27T14:24:44Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > Unless things go very wrong (and we have no reason to believe the OP will go that way), I think the OP is the most likely victim of this whole mess. Chances are that he will grow more in love with this wonderful little young lady while she does what 16 year old girls do best, change their minds and decide to look for love elsewhere. Then he will be dealing with his friends not only making fun of dating a high schooler, but being dumped by one. Ouch. I think so as well… Or rather, there isn’t anything he is likely to do to her at 27 that the average 16 year old boy won’t be able to do - and perhaps he is somewhat less likely to do some of it - like have a attention span that lasts three fucks and another girl smiling at him. (Though I strongly believe he should hold off on physical intimacy until she is a legal adult - simply because it will be more ethical - and it doesn’t sound like he’s getting any anyway. Nothing in his posts to date seem to say that he is using “date” solely as a euphemism for “screw.”) But she is likely to pull a lot of crap sixteen year old girls do that a 27 year old girl wouldn’t. Like think she wants to settle down and get married, but then decide she never got to be a teenager. Or fall in lust/infatuation/love with someone else. Or decide that her dream college is across the country. Or do what my brother in laws teenaged girlfriend did and decide at 20 that she was a lesbian. I’ve seen this work half a dozen times - in addition to my friend married fifteen years, my father in law married a girl 30 years younger than him and have been together 20 (they did not start dating until she was 18). One of my girlfriends started dating a guy 20 years older than her as a young college student - they are still together. A friend of a friend married a former high school student - they had an “interest” when she was a student, and married several years after she graduated (I always thought that one was ooky, but last I heard they were still married). And I’ve seen it not work - but when it hasn’t worked its been more often the older party who has gotten hurt. Now, my cousin dated a guy when she was 14 who was in his 20s - and that didn’t end up well for her (and ended up with her parents pressing charges against him) - but he was a slimeball. I’m assuming Freejooky isn’t a slimeball to start with. ---
**Author:** ![mshar253](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@mshar253](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mshar253)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/203 "2008-11-27T14:25:59Z")
Since the thread is bumped to the top anyway, I’ll throw my two-cents in there quickly: No, you can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/204 "2008-11-27T17:24:17Z")
**Dude** I work with 15 year old girls for a living, its what I do. If I fell for every sweet, mature, pretty, cute, intelligent, funny, charming, whatever girl I met I would be banging 20 girls a year and I am 40. The worst thing about the above statement is that its pretty much true, I get flirted with, crushed on, hit on, occasionally full on hit on as in “do you wanna fuck after our drive?” I have had girls flash me, received HIGHLY inappropriate pictures and a plethora of other nonsense that I never ever dreamed in a million years I would end up dealing with. Teen girls look like women but are really girls getting their asses kicked by their own hormones. Part of your problem is lack of experience with girls in that age range, another is you have 2 more factors going on that you are unaware of. The first is these girls are often attracted to older guys, I think its a trust issue. (at least in my case) compared to your average teenage boy its a lot easier to trust an older guy not to hurt her, that plus the extra maturity makes older guys very tempting for some teen girls. the other is that most guys (who the fuck am I kidding ALL guys) find young women physically attractive, now I am not talking about crazy pervy stuff here. Its left over from the days when 15 was middle aged and those girls needed to get pregnant quick. if you think there is anything special going on between the 2 of you think again. this goes on every day all over the place. Note I dont care about age differences…when it involves adults. I personally think its blatantly sexist that people think older guys are pervs when dating younger women but not the other way around. but the key here is ADULTS. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/205 "2008-11-27T19:14:26Z")
**Critical1** , what’s your job? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/206 "2008-11-27T19:26:28Z")
And where can I get an application form? (KIDDING, people!) I’d guess he was a driving instructor. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/207 "2008-11-28T02:27:53Z")
> [@Critical1](#): > > I personally think its blatantly sexist that people think older guys are pervs when dating younger women but not the other way around. but the key here is ADULTS. Well, I think they’re both pervy situations-if one said parties is not an adult. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/208 "2008-11-28T02:36:45Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > [Stern Moderator Admonition]Watch it-you’ve been here long enough to know that posts like this are inappropriate outside of The BBQ Pit.[/Stern Moderator Admonition] You could have also pointed out that the correct term is [ephebophile](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia). ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/209 "2008-11-28T03:39:18Z")
Don’t know if this has been covered (have only read parts of the thread). I read she’s under age of consent in your area. I also read folks make a distiction between ‘dating’ and having sex. I cannot stress more strongly that you check out the law in your area before you do so much as hold hands. In Michigan, for example, phyisical contact of ‘breasts, buttocks, thigh or groin’ of uner age person (over or under clothes is not a factor \*\* nor is who \*\* is making contact) = 2nd degree criminal sexual contact. She cannot give consent. All it would take is her claim you touched her or had her touch you **or** any one else claiming they saw it. But, of course, you weren’t really looking for advice. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/210 "2008-11-28T04:30:56Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > 16-year old girls can break hearts. The only ones who should be exposed to it are 16-year old boys who have time to get over it. Also, ponies. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/211 "2008-11-28T04:49:57Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > You could have also pointed out that the correct term is [ephebophile](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia). I pointed that out a few pages ago. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/212 "2008-11-28T07:24:10Z")
> [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](#): > > **Critical1** , what’s your job? Drivers Ed, most of my time is in the company of 15 year olds, the word “like” is totally like part of my vocabulary… ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/213 "2008-11-28T08:22:26Z")
Do you actually go out on the road with only a 15 year old girl and yourself as the only occupants of the car? ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/214 "2008-11-28T08:29:19Z")
> [@zagloba](#): > > Do you actually go out on the road with only a 15 year old girl and yourself as the only occupants of the car? all the time, now dont get me wrong its not an every day thing that I get hit on, that is actually pretty damn rare, but the puppy dog eyes and crap like that happens all the time. I invite parents along and actually prefer taking 2 students out at a time but yes I do spend a ton of time alone with students, its part of the job that you really cant get away from. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/215 "2008-11-28T11:03:28Z")
Don’t you ever worry that someday probability is going to catch up with you and that some psychologically unstable girl (or guy) is going to say that you did something while you were alone? I ask this because this was a subplot in last week’s episode of ER. Even though it was strongly intimated at the very end of the show that the accused teacher _actually was_ a perv, it really struck a raw nerve with me. I’ve heard about things like this actually happening to innocent people, and it irks me that some poor shlep can spend 20 years of his life sacrificing himself for the benefit of society only to have it all torn down by some little shit with a daddy complex. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/216 "2008-11-28T19:36:10Z")
> [@Critical1](#): > > all the time, > now dont get me wrong its not an every day thing that I get hit on, that is actually pretty damn rare, but the puppy dog eyes and crap like that happens all the time. > > I invite parents along and actually prefer taking 2 students out at a time but yes I do spend a ton of time alone with students, its part of the job that you really cant get away from. Do you have any audio or video recorders to keep you from getting screwed by a false accusation? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/217 "2008-11-28T19:51:04Z")
I don’t think gynecologists have a problem with that sort of thing and there’s much more potential for molestation accusations in _their_ line of work. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/218 "2008-11-28T20:03:12Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I don’t think gynecologists have a problem with that sort of thing and there’s much more potential for molestation accusations in _their_ line of work. Male gynecologists virtually always have a nurse in the room with them to serve as protection, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/219 "2008-11-28T20:10:02Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Male gynecologists virtually always have a nurse in the room with them to serve as protection, don’t they? Didn’t think of that. Ladies, is that true? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/220 "2008-11-28T20:10:49Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Male gynecologists virtually always have a nurse in the room with them to serve as protection, don’t they? Surprisingly, no, not in my experience. I’m sure if you asked for one, they’d acquiesce, but out of 4 male gynecologists I’ve had in the last 20 years, none made it a routine part of their practice. Of course, it’s possible I’ve got a bizarre sample. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389.md?page=12)