# Can I date a High Schooler? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 25, 2008, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389 "2008-11-25T04:29:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/221 "2008-11-28T20:17:09Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Surprisingly, no, not in my experience. I’m sure if you asked for one, they’d acquiesce, but out of 4 male gynecologists I’ve had in the last 20 years, none made it a routine part of their practice. > > Of course, it’s possible I’ve got a bizarre sample. I’ll counter that. Every one of mine did. Of course, one of mine that did was later convicted of sexual assault. But that didn’t happen in the doctor’s office, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/222 "2008-11-28T20:25:29Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Didn’t think of that. Ladies, is that true? When I was a minor, yes absolutely 100%. As an adult, the majority of my gyns have been women (I vastly prefer a female gynecologist) but in the case where I’ve seen a man, they have either had a female nurse present as a matter of course, or else asked me if I would prefer to have a female present. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/223 "2008-11-28T20:27:41Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > I’ll counter that. Every one of mine did. So have mine…for 25 years, whether its been an OB/GYN or a general practitioner or an Internist or a Family Practice doc (all have been primary for me at one time or another over the past 25 years - and all have been male), they have always at least ASKED if I wanted another person present during the exam. Now, I’ve generally said no…in a busy practice I just need to scream - and I wouldn’t go to a doctor unless I already felt some level of trust. No reason to have a RN stand there… ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/224 "2008-11-28T20:30:20Z")
As a med student who has been involved in numerous pelvic exams, I can say most male physicians that I know automatically have a female bystander in the room when they do pelvic exams. All it takes is one patient accusing you of inappropriate conduct (and having nothing but your word against hers to refute it) to ruin your career. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/225 "2008-11-28T20:30:27Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Do you have any audio or video recorders to keep you from getting screwed by a false accusation? that is some thing I am working on as a personal idea/business model although not for that exact reason. its possible to get accused falsely and I suppose its a risk but it would be fairly easy to disprove most of the major types of wrong doing (well maybe) the car is virtually always in motion, and since we are talking about public places on public streets there are going to be people who at least can see you were at this place around this time. I did have a female student (99% sure on this but not 100%) who I had to tell could not continue lessons until she could practice at home which she couldnt do because her mother was to messed up to work with her…long story short her home life was pretty jacked and theres not a lot I can do to help her out with that, the next day the office got 3 different calls asking if I had been fired for sexual harassment. I dont know, I get the feeling that if it ever happened for real I would have the support of hundreds of former students but you never really can tell. Putting Cameras in car is an idea I have that relates to a business model I have been working on for a long time, the problem with that is Driving schools are not exactly hi-tech, the profit margin isnt huge and here in Washington some of the regulations are down right moronic making it harder for schools to operate let alone innovate. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/226 "2008-11-28T20:58:56Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Didn’t think of that. Ladies, is that true? Not in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/227 "2008-11-28T21:04:51Z")
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a male gynecologist, but this was the case when I did. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/228 "2008-11-28T22:02:14Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Didn’t think of that. Ladies, is that true? I’ve only had female gynecologists, but usually they also have a nurse in the room. I’m not sure if it’s so much for “propietary’s sake” as it was having the nurse hand them stuff and so on. Although I think I’ve also had times when there wasn’t a nurse in the room. So I guess it depends on the doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/229 "2008-11-29T00:40:45Z")
> [@Critical1](#): > > Note I dont care about age differences…when it involves adults. I personally think its blatantly sexist that people think older guys are pervs when dating younger women but not the other way around. but the key here is ADULTS. Not everyone thinks that way. I have a female relative about the OPs age who has dated a string of 18/19 year old guys over the past five years or so. She’s a “I keep getting older, but my boyfriends stay the same age!” case. I have a rather low opinion of this relative, and many other people familiar with her history think she’s pathetic and creepy. It doesn’t help that said relative is also a classic “lives in her mother’s basement” type and is probably even less mature/experienced than the average 19 year old. I can’t help but suspect the same of this thread’s OP. If he decides to continue pursuing this relationship, something I think is a very bad idea for all the reasons described in this thread so far, he should be prepared for both all his friends AND all her friends to think he’s a pathetic loser who can’t get a woman his own age. Whether it’s true or not that is what people are going to assume. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/230 "2008-11-29T01:41:03Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Didn’t think of that. Ladies, is that true? I had surgery on my thigh earlier this year and, when I went to get the wound checked 2 weeks later, the male Dr didn’t even want to do \*that \*without another person present. He had no nurse working at the time, but explained to me that the hospital in which he works takes a “never too careful” policy. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/231 "2008-11-29T06:50:23Z")
> [@Critical1](#): > > Note I dont care about age differences…when it involves adults. I personally think its blatantly sexist that people think older guys are pervs when dating younger women but not the other way around. but the key here is ADULTS. You have to be joking! Men dating younger women is so cliche it hardly raises an eyebrow unless the girl is underage. With women it’s so “not normal” that they developed a name (cougar) for it. When Demi Moore started dating Ashton Kutcher the media could not **stop** making a big deal of it. Funny that at the time Bruce Willis (who is older than Moore) was dating a girl that was younger than Kutcher and nobody gave a crap. And before any men want to come in and talk about the way they’re programmed and fertility and blah blah blah, I don’t care about the reasons why. I’m just responding to this comment that somehow people think it’s okay for women to do it but men are considered pervs. Puh-leeze. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/232 "2008-11-29T09:05:12Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > You have to be joking! Men dating younger women is so cliche it hardly raises an eyebrow unless the girl is underage. With women it’s so “not normal” that they developed a name (cougar) for it. Well keep in mind this is the Male perspective, while dating a woman old enough to be my mother all I ever got was “DUDE! Rock!” but when dating a woman 14 years younger I got a mix including a pretty hostile “arent you a little to old for her” from a total stranger. I can see the press making a big deal with Celebs but they make a big deal out of any damn thing a celebrity does. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/233 "2008-11-29T10:09:33Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > When Demi Moore started dating Ashton Kutcher the media could not **stop** making a big deal of it. Funny that at the time Bruce Willis (who is older than Moore) was dating a girl that was younger than Kutcher and nobody gave a crap. I think this is a case where the actual participants make the story much more interesting than the “OMG! Demi’s a cougar dating that poor, young Ashton Kutcher!” When Moore and Kutcher started dating, Kutcher was basically known for two things: being Kelso on That 70s Show and Punk’d. Two things that basically painted him as an idiot, which was a huge contrast to Demi Moore’s classy image. The age difference was just one more thing that seemed weird about the pairing. And nobody gave a crap about who Bruce Willis was dating because she was just some generic model. Sure, she was young, but it’s hard to sell papers on older guy dates younger woman because age alone is not a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/234 "2008-11-29T15:42:22Z")
To bring the older-woman; younger-man thing a bit more in line with the OP – _I_ would have been every single bit as perturbed by my son dating a 27 year old woman when he was 16 as I would have been by my daughter dating a 27 year old man when she was 16. Moreso, probably. My son was a fairly immature 16 year old and such a relationship would have sincerely messed with his mind. My daughter was more mature and could probably have dealt with it some better. ---
**Author:** ![Vox\_Imperatoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Vox\_Imperatoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vox_Imperatoris)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/235 "2008-11-29T16:18:16Z")
Speaking as a 16 year-old male, I couldn’t imagine dating a 27 year-old woman. (And I would be quite creeped out of someone I knew were doing so.) Valete, Vox Imperatoris ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/236 "2008-11-29T17:43:59Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > When Demi Moore started dating Ashton Kutcher the media could not **stop** making a big deal of it. I was at our local annual festival a couple years ago and a teenage girl walked past wearing a T-shirt that said, in big bold letters, “TOO YOUNG FOR ASHTON”. Of course, since I don’t really watch TV I had to ask a 20-year-old woman who was standing nearby, “Who is Ashton?”, and she kindly explained the whole thing too me 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/237 "2008-11-29T18:01:22Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > You have to be joking! Men dating younger women is so cliche it hardly raises an eyebrow unless the girl is underage. With women it’s so “not normal” that they developed a name (cougar) for it. > > When Demi Moore started dating Ashton Kutcher the media could not **stop** making a big deal of it. Funny that at the time Bruce Willis (who is older than Moore) was dating a girl that was younger than Kutcher and nobody gave a crap. > > And before any men want to come in and talk about the way they’re programmed and fertility and blah blah blah, I don’t care about the reasons why. I’m just responding to this comment that somehow people think it’s okay for women to do it but men are considered pervs. Puh-leeze. Someone seems a mite oversensitive. How old’s _your_ new guy? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/238 "2008-11-29T19:26:06Z")
> [@](#): > > I work with 15 year old girls for a living, its what I do. If I fell for every sweet, mature, pretty, cute, intelligent, funny, charming, whatever girl I met I would be banging 20 girls a year and I am 40. The worst thing about the above statement is that its pretty much true, I get flirted with, crushed on, hit on, occasionally full on hit on as in “do you wanna fuck after our drive?” > I have had girls flash me, received HIGHLY inappropriate pictures and a plethora of other nonsense that I never ever dreamed in a million years I would end up dealing with. Teen girls look like women but are really girls getting their asses kicked by their own hormones. This behavior really surprises me, are teen girls that sexually aggressive? Common understanding usually has the older men as preying on young women I can’t believe girls would act this way in real life. I would think this would lead to a great deal of trouble if they acted this way with unscrupulous men. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/239 "2008-11-29T19:32:47Z")
> [@Icerigger](#): > > This behavior really surprises me, are teen girls that sexually aggressive? A significant number of them are. > [@](#): > > Common understanding usually has the older men as preying on young women I can’t believe girls would act this way in real life. They can and do. > [@](#): > > I would think this would lead to a great deal of trouble if they acted this way with unscrupulous men. It does. QtM, who also oversees health care in women’s prisons. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389/240 "2008-11-29T20:56:38Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Didn’t think of that. Ladies, is that true? Yep. Even my female doctors have had nurses in the room with them. I am always creeped out by the nurse being there because it seems like their only job is to stare intently at my vagina to make sure that the doctor isn’t touching me innappropriately. I’d prefer they not be there but I understand the doctor needs to make sure there is someone to vouch for them should a patient turn around and accuse them of molestation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-date-a-high-schooler/474389.md?page=13)