# Can I get or make UN-holy water?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [February 14, 2006, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423 "2006-02-14T06:57:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/1 "2006-02-14T06:57:49Z")

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I’ve been researching vampires (for amusement, and for a college course) lately, and an odd little thought popped into my head: if Holy Water is water blessed by a priest (or another holy man), can I get _un_holy water, anywhere? I mean, water that’s specifically been made “evil,” or at the least spiritually contaminated? If so, is it something I could do myself, or would I have to order it special?

C’mon, human civilization is almost 10,000 years old…I can’t be the _first_ guy to think of this. 😃

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**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/2 "2006-02-14T07:03:29Z")

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[Indeed](http://www.drinksecret.com/recipe/unholy-water.html). And it’ll knock you on your ass, if you’re not careful.

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**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/3 "2006-02-14T07:39:10Z")

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Heheh, powerful drink. But it’s quite a fun question, isn’t it? I mean, just it _could_ be useful to have some conveniently placed near the door for when the holy blessed and highly talkative types came calling. I reckon London tap water would be vile enough 🙂 but for best effect it should look all proper and labelled with scary picutres and “Acme Unholy Water” or “Crowley’s Old Original” … I see a marketing opportunity here.

I bet s_somebody_ has done it, you know. But I expect that joke-type products can be sort of ephemeral and hard to find.

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**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/4 "2006-02-14T07:49:41Z")

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Maybe you could get Kofi Annan to bless the water…  
To get UN-holy water, of course.

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**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/5 "2006-02-14T08:01:41Z")

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Devil worshippers (real or imagined) practiced the “Black Mass”, a parody of Catholic mass.

From [this site](http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/b/black_mass_the.html) we learn that, "Urine, supposedly, was at various times substituted for holy water, or for the wine. Sliced pieces of rotted turnips, black leather, or black triangles were substituted for communion bread. Black candles were used instead of white ones. " etc etc

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**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/6 "2006-02-14T11:15:45Z")

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Coca-Cola [tried this](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3523303.stm) a [couple of years](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3550063.stm) ago [in the UK](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3809539.stm). Heh.

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**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/7 "2006-02-14T13:11:17Z")

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Sure, just put some water on a cross-aligned altar and pray.

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**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/8 "2006-02-14T15:05:12Z")

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Just don’t expect to extinguish many fires with it.

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**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/9 "2006-02-14T15:47:08Z")

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> [@Q.E.D.](#):
>
> [Indeed](http://www.drinksecret.com/recipe/unholy-water.html). And it’ll knock you on your ass, if you’re not careful.

LOVE it! Four shots of name-brand booze. (Two not even white goods, so perhaps we ought to call it Unholy Nonwater.) Then a shot of…“gin.” Any old kind, or more likely he’s some frat rat who hasn’t been briefed on a cool brand of gin. Then combine all _six_ shots in a large tumbler. 'Cause by then who’s counting.

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**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/10 "2006-02-14T15:52:14Z")

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Okay, still nobody’s said it, so I’m going to have to.

> [@](#):
>
> Can I get or make UN-holy water?

Sure - just get Kofi Annan to bless it.

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**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/11 "2006-02-14T15:53:36Z")

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Okay, so how’d **dtilque** manage to slip his post in their _after_ I wrote that? :dubious:

Stupid eyes… :o

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**Author:** ![Emerald\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Emerald\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emerald_Hawk)\
**Post date:** [February 14, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/12 "2006-02-14T18:50:11Z")

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Well, if you know a cleric (or probably any priest, really) that worships an evil god, you could ask him to cast [this spell](http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/curseWater.htm). Unfortunately, it requires a material component of five pounds (!?) of powdered silver, which is consumed by the casting of the spell. At current market prices ($9.30/oz), that’s about $744 worth of silver, for a single pint of the stuff! All so you can do a measly 2d4 damage to an angel or other good outsider… it would probably just piss them off.

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**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/13 "2006-02-15T03:18:34Z")

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Not really unholy or anything, but it is a pretty cool picture of a demonic looking gargoyle: [Stone Brewing Company](http://www.stonebrew.com/) - San Diego, CA. I recommend the Arrogant Bastard ale - but no, it’s not water.

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**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/14 "2006-02-15T04:31:41Z")

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Sure. Only $45 per 12oz jar plus p & h for “Princhester’s Genuine Unholy Water”, exported to you direct all the way from Australia.

In fact, just this week, for the special price of $60 per 12 oz jar I’ll send you _Double Strength_ unholy water. That’s only 30% more for _twice_ the unholiness!

Email me, today!

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**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/15 "2006-02-15T04:56:05Z")

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It burns the Jehovah’s witnesses like the Wicked Witch.

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**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/16 "2006-02-15T06:40:24Z")

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> [@Q.E.D.](#):
>
> [Indeed](http://www.drinksecret.com/recipe/unholy-water.html). And it’ll knock you on your ass, if you’re not careful.

Pretty dang unholy, i’d say. That drink is roughly equivalent to a 4oz glass of pure alcohol, which is for me a BAC of .18.

Two of these in succession will bring you very close to the [LD50](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LD50) for alcohol - e.g., a 50% chance of death.

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**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/17 "2006-02-15T11:46:47Z")

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Wait a second… isn’t ALL water pretty much holy water at this point? I mean, with all the water that’s been holy over the years, and that water’s gotta go somewhere doesn’t it? Then it ends up in the ocean… Heck, by now I bet there’s a goodly percentage of water that’s been holyfied three, four, heck hundreds of times over.

No wonder nobody can identify holy water in double-blind tests; it’s ALL holy!

I guess you’d have to start with hydrogen and oxygen.

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/18 "2006-02-15T23:15:48Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Wait a second… isn’t ALL water pretty much holy water at this point? I mean, with all the water that’s been holy over the years, and that water’s gotta go somewhere doesn’t it?

It wouldn’t even take years… According to Catholic theology, at least, holy water does not dilute. That is, if you take a pint of holy water and mix it with a pint of regular water, you now have a quart of holy water. The logical extension of this is that if you take a vial of holy water and sprinkle a little into the ocean, the entire ocean would then be holy water.

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**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/19 "2006-02-15T23:20:11Z")

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> [@Chronos](#):
>
> It wouldn’t even take years… According to Catholic theology, at least, holy water does not dilute. That is, if you take a pint of holy water and mix it with a pint of regular water, you now have a quart of holy water. The logical extension of this is that if you take a vial of holy water and sprinkle a little into the ocean, the entire ocean would then be holy water.

What if you drink a pint of holy water and then urinate. Still holy?

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**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\
**Post date:** [February 16, 2006, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-or-make-un-holy-water/344423/20 "2006-02-16T00:40:04Z")

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All I know is that I’m not going to gargle with it after Sister Mary Catherine sticks her ass in it.

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