# Can I Get Out Of The Military?? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 15, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897 "2012-04-15T23:13:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/61 "2012-04-18T16:56:14Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > If the OP had been, “Can I Get Out Of This Marriage??” most of you would be suggesting getting a good lawyer, dump the bitch and move on with your life. > I doubt any of you would be saying, “Suck it up. Grow some balls. You said “I Do” and now you have to live with her even though you hate her guts.” > > The kid thinks he made a mistake. He wants out. Playing macho man and slapping him upside the head with platitudes about honor and duty isn’t going to change his mind or help him one iota. What if the marriage was only intended to last 6 years, and several of us have been married to this woman before, and we’d also thought about leaving her, and yet we were glad we stuck it out? Then do you think we’d say “Suck it up. Grow some balls.”? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/62 "2012-04-18T17:06:41Z")
Well, maybe. Must be something to her if you all married her, right? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/63 "2012-04-18T19:26:23Z")
Six-year Army vet former tanker chiming in. I wasn’t in your shoes; I was where I wanted to be, doing what I wanted to do. Was it all sunshine and lollipops, all the time? No fucking way. There were plenty of times I hated life and was miserable. Try changing track on an M-1 Abrams in knee-deep freezing mud at 0300 after going without sleep for 24+ hours, just to get done in time to launch the morning attack at 0500. But on balance, it was great. So I’m in the “Man Up and Gut It Out” crowd, with the following proviso: if there’s stress and unhappiness and depression, get help! There’s plenty of medical resources and counselling available to you to help you deal with all that stuff. But I would also ask: what specifically is stressing you out? If it’s “getting up in the morning, getting dressed, and going to work,” then you are going to find very few sympathetic ears. If it’s homesickness, lonliness, etc., well, that too is part of growing up and being out-in-the-world on your own. If it’s service-specific issues, or job-specific ones, talk to your squad leader (or whatever the Air Force equivalent is) or platoon sergeant or First Sergeant. If they are unable to help you out, check on in-service counselling and get help there. And in the mean time, look at it like this: you are not necessarily your job, or vice-versa. Enroll in your local community college. Learn to play a musical instrument. Look around your area where you are stationed and go see some sights. As mentioned upthread, learn to “Play The Game.” Do your job, however mind-numbing or boring it may be, do it well and with minimal fuss, and collect your pay when it comes in. Try to learn something about it, some skill set that you may carry with you into your next job that lets you gank the HR bitches for more payolla. There’s a lot of military/medical resources available to help you cope with the decision you have already made and agreed to commit to. And even a small attitude adjustment on your part (which said resources can help you with) can change your outlook from “gloomy/depressed/trapped” to “holy shit there’s a lot of opportunity here for me to take advantage of.” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/64 "2012-04-18T20:45:03Z")
> [@jampaintball](#): > > its like every day im either fine with it all or i hate it and want out desperately I’m not trying to discount your service or the stress involved in a military occupation, but that’s how I’ve felt about most of the jobs I’ve had… ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/65 "2012-04-18T21:44:43Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > **jampaintball** , can I ask what your plan is if you do get out? If you don’t have one, you probably should consider sticking it out and using the time to figure out what you want to do afterwards. > > Don’t be that guy who goes back to his hometown with no plan, drifting from crappy job to crappy job and living with his folks the rest of your life. This – don’t get out until at least you have a solid idea what to do when you ARE out. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/66 "2012-04-19T07:12:08Z")
First, I would suggest you get screened for depression. Some days are fine and some days are not can be symptom of depression. I’ve never been in the military, but it seems that they are more understanding these days. > [@jampaintball](#): > > ive been off and on with this whole thing for some time now, its like every day im either fine with it all or i hate it and want out desperately, idk if thats normal for people who serve but it seems to me like everyone loves it Lots of people act like they love it, but I would bet the family farm that there are others on your base who feel the same, but just are better at hiding it. > [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > Talk to your Shirt. Get it on the table right now that you do not want to be in anymore. Easier said than done, but before doing that, I would really spend some time figuring out exactly why you can’t stand it. This is one area where talking to a counselor or chaplain can help you clarify the reasons. It sounds like you will need some damn good reasons to quit, so understanding them yourself will make a better case than what you have outlined here. If you do quit, you will need a Plan B for work, since all the money which grows on trees has already been picked. Understanding yourself will go a long ways to help yourself develop that Plan B. You may not like it for reasons which are specific to the military, to large organizations, conservative values, etc. Many people go though this by a process of elimination. They work for a while at a job, get fired or quit, sign up for the next and repeat the process. To be fair, I was far older than you before I figured out what I like to do. > [@](#): > > Edit: The General Under Honorable discharge didn’t hurt me one bit. In fact, just the fact that I had military experience was impressive to a lot of employers. Just make sure you downplay it on your résumé… stick it way at the bottom under Education or bury it amongst your employment history. On these board, there a quite a few of us who have experience hiring people. If you get a job which you do well (and hopefully like) and keep it for four or five years, the military part will be ancient history. However, this trick is going to be getting that next job. For most entry level jobs, we like to see some sort of sign that you will show up and do a decent job. One of the reasons why college helps is that it gives us an indication that you have the wherewithal to handle pressure and will show up every day. Service in the military can serve the same purpose. You made a rash decision. That’s what you’re supposed to do at 18 or 19. However, don’t make another one. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/67 "2012-04-19T07:35:12Z")
Well, if you asked this question a few years ago, I would have said you should allow yourself to be “caught” tongue-wrestling another airman. Unfortunately, the law has changed. Fuck Obama! (that also would have got you discharged:() ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/68 "2012-04-19T16:22:51Z")
All of these comments beg the question: Why can’t you just quit any branch of the military? I don’t believe there is another job in the USA that doesn’t allow someone to just up and quit. Perhaps the military would be a better place if it allowed those who don’t want to be there to leave. I can imagine you would feel a lot better knowing that person who has your back in a crisis really WANTS to be there to have your back. And while 99.9% of people in the military seem to grow into the job and do quite well, the newspapers never seem to lack for stories of idiots in the military who do something truly idiotic or criminally horrible, and maybe it might have been a great idea to have allowed those people the option of just quitting and walking away before they caused an international scandal. Maybe I am naive, but the idea of forcing someone to stay where they don’t want to be is never a good idea - and arming them to the tits while doing so seems to be an even stupider idea. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/69 "2012-04-19T16:25:07Z")
The military isn’t just another job, though. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/70 "2012-04-19T16:27:17Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The military isn’t just another job, though. [It’s an adventure.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc9g2tagYms) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/71 "2012-04-19T16:45:20Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > All of these comments beg the question: > Why can’t you just quit any branch of the military? > > I don’t believe there is another job in the USA that doesn’t allow someone to just up and quit. Perhaps the military would be a better place if it allowed those who don’t want to be there to leave. I can imagine you would feel a lot better knowing that person who has your back in a crisis really WANTS to be there to have your back. > > And while 99.9% of people in the military seem to grow into the job and do quite well, the newspapers never seem to lack for stories of idiots in the military who do something truly idiotic or criminally horrible, and maybe it might have been a great idea to have allowed those people the option of just quitting and walking away before they caused an international scandal. > > Maybe I am naive, but the idea of forcing someone to stay where they don’t want to be is never a good idea - and arming them to the tits while doing so seems to be an even stupider idea. What if 95% of your soldiers decide to quit just before a major attack? Oh… peace! Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/72 "2012-04-19T16:46:02Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > All of these comments beg the question: > Why can’t you just quit any branch of the military?.. I think retention might become a bit of a problem when a war started, which is pretty much when having a military really pays off. D-Day might have gone a little differently if most of the Allies decided military life wasn’t for them the day before the invasion. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/73 "2012-04-19T17:09:03Z")
I served six years in the USN in the eighties. I made the decision to join long before I was able to, as college never interested me. (More school!!? Yuk!) I knew boot camp was going to be stressful. It’s intended to be. So it didn’t bother me much. But after that, there seemed (to me) to be a lot of pointless bullshit to have to put up with. There was also all the pettiness and “office” politics that humans seem to engage in _outside_ the military. (Favoritism, people taking credit for other peoples work, etc.) In other words, service in the military wasn’t what I expected it was going to be. I developed a little bit of an attitude. (Muttering “Fuck this. Fuck the Navy!”) I decided I was going to tough it out, and get a cushy job as an overpaid Tech Rep when I got out. I never got approached by the Command Career Counselor for reenlistment. Once I got out, I realised it wasn’t all that bad (I didn’t have to serve in a combat area), and I miss the friends I made during that time. (Being unable to get that cushy job, and settling for minimum wage jobs for the _next_ six years may have affected my view of my time in, too.) Of course, I don’t miss standing watch from “Balls to Four”, either. 🙂 Just be sure that whatever you are unhappy about is specific to the USAF, and not something you’re going to find no matter where you work on the outside. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/74 "2012-04-19T17:15:45Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > I don’t believe there is another job in the USA that doesn’t allow someone to just up and quit. That’s not entirely true. If you sign a contract promising to perform some specific job, you can’t just walk away from it. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/75 "2012-04-19T17:43:56Z")
Well, the difference there is that walking away from an employment contract might get you sued for breach. Walking away from a military contract might get you sent to the clink for desertion. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/76 "2012-04-19T21:45:00Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > All of these comments beg the question: > Why can’t you just quit any branch of the military? Do you even understand the purpose of a military? > [@DMark](#): > > I don’t believe there is another job in the USA that doesn’t allow someone to just up and quit. Perhaps the military would be a better place if it allowed those who don’t want to be there to leave. I can imagine you would feel a lot better knowing that person who has your back in a crisis really WANTS to be there to have your back. The U.S. Armed Forces are already all-volunteer. Everyone who signed up wanted to be there. If they discover after-the-fact that they don’t, there are certain legal remedies. But at that point, the military has invested considerable time, money, and effort training you. They have a right, and obligatioon to the tax-paying public, to ensure that they get a fair return on their investment, and have sufficient personnel to meet force level requirements > [@DMark](#): > > And while 99.9% of people in the military seem to grow into the job and do quite well, the newspapers never seem to lack for stories of idiots in the military who do something truly idiotic or criminally horrible, and maybe it might have been a great idea to have allowed those people the option of just quitting and walking away before they caused an international scandal. Why do you assume, or what evidence do you have, that the people causing these incidents of which you speak do so out of a desire to get out of the military? > [@DMark](#): > > Maybe I am naive, but the idea of forcing someone to stay where they don’t want to be is never a good idea - and arming them to the tits while doing so seems to be an even stupider idea. There are also people who don’t mind being in the military until it comes time to really do their jobs, such as the jobs that involve shooting other people, and being shot at by other people. If the soldiers who _volunteered_ for those jobs suddenly decide they don’t want to do that anymore, you no longer have a military force, but chaos. Really, **DMark,** this is 101-level common sense. _What are you really getting at?_ ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/77 "2012-04-19T23:31:11Z")
Look, you absolutely can get out of the military right away if you’re willing to accept an other-than-honorable discharge. Just keep telling everyone that you made a mistake and you want out of this chickenshit outfit and refuse to obey all orders, and pretty soon you’ll find yourself on a streetcorner wearing civilian clothes with discharge papers in your hand. Then what? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/78 "2012-04-20T00:17:32Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > What if the marriage was only intended to last 6 years, and several of us have been married to this woman before, and we’d also thought about leaving her, and yet we were glad we stuck it out? Then do you think we’d say “Suck it up. Grow some balls.”? See, here’s the thing. I’ve had a number of (civilian) jobs that at one point or another I totally hated or felt infuriated about to the point of quitting at one point or another. Heck, I even hated my undergraduate major (structural engineering) to the point of quitting. But I stuck it out and actually finished a challenging degree from a prestigeous school and received pretty significant promotions at those jobs. I’m not a “life is to be endured, not enjoyed” type, but sometimes, it pays to just suck it up and stick with something if there is an end in sight. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/79 "2012-04-20T01:36:42Z")
It depends on what his problem is. I would be dangerously unhappy in the USAF, because I don’t agree with its mission and philosophy. That’s different from self-doubt, or just finding your job unpleasant. So it depends on where it is: “Being a grown-up sucks,” is not, “Being in the service sucks,” is not, “My assignment sucks,” is not, “You know, I really, really am a pacifist now,” is not, “I hate all of this and am only staying in long enough to get intel to sell al Qaeda so they kill everyone here.” And he may have to figure out which of those he really defaults to, because you can mistake one for the others. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897/80 "2012-04-20T01:48:47Z")
I’m pretty sure if his problem was the USAF’s mission and philosophy he wouldn’t have signed up in the first place. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-get-out-of-the-military/618897.md?page=5)