# Can I Marry Microsoft? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 1, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150 "2002-04-01T02:04:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/1 "2002-04-01T02:04:22Z")
From what I understand, corporations are legally defined as a person when it comes to legal matters. If so, could someone try something as insane as trying to marry a huge corporation such as MS or Wal-Mart or something? ---
**Author:** ![Cull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@Cull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cull)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/2 "2002-04-01T02:06:06Z")
Legally, of course you could try… and of course… I could try to pull a monkey out of my butt… It ain’t gonna happen 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/3 "2002-04-01T02:16:34Z")
I always thought it’s interesting that there’s a French legal term for a corporation, _personne morale_, when it’s neither. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/4 "2002-04-01T02:54:25Z")
Corporations are treated as persons for the sake of certain legal matters - like entering into contracts and suing - but this is recognized as a fiction. Marriage is governed by state law, and in many cases marriage can only occur between a “man” and a “woman.” I’m hoping someone can come along with a more thorough explanation, because this “corporations are people” thing bugs me. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/5 "2002-04-01T03:17:31Z")
Well, a single person couldn’t marry a corporation, but another corporation could. You know it as _merging_. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/6 "2002-04-01T03:46:09Z")
WAG here, so take it with a grain of salt. Would it not be more proper to refer to a corporation as a citizen than a person? I’ve only ever heard the term corporate citizen in English, which is not so problematic. Legally, you can have as many classes of citizens as you like; in fact, the word citizen may have been used simply because no other word fits. As for _personne morale_, do you know how old the term is? The Latin word _mos_ refers to a social custom, not ethical behavior, so the term may have meant something closer to “legal person” when it first came out, and that could be taken to mean “recognized as a person by law”. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/7 "2002-04-01T07:49:26Z")
I’ve heard that there’s a legal point that a corporation is not a _natural_ person. ---
**Author:** ![Schnitte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/schnitte/32/9033_2.png) [@Schnitte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schnitte)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/8 "2002-04-01T09:16:26Z")
You can, but you first should ask her father. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/9 "2002-04-01T14:21:32Z")
Seduce Microsoft, have a short but stormy marriage, then divorce it. Depending on the jurisdiction, you may get half the combined assets. Gravy train!!! 😃 😃 😃 On the other hand, Microsoft has more lawyers than you. The settlement process may take some time. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/10 "2002-04-01T15:33:48Z")
I’m sure Microsoft would insist on a pre-nup, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/11 "2002-04-01T15:54:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ultrafilter \* > **WAG here, so take it with a grain of salt. Would it not be more proper to refer to a corporation as a citizen than a person?** It may or not be more proper, but it isn’t the way it’s done. In the U.S. (and I believe in the UK as well), a corporation is a person, as are non-profit entities, but not partnerships. Corporations have an existence separate from their owners or managers (and, unlike those folks, corporations can live forever). Typically, when a law refers to a “person” it means either a human or a corporation. That way, you can, say, prohibit dumping hazardous waste in a lake by legislating that “And person who dumps hazardous waste in this lake will be guilty of a felony.” If a law wishes to refer only to flesh-and-blood people, it will often use the word “individual.” However, state laws which govern marriage will typically refer to a “man” and a “woman.” –Cliffy, Esq. ---
**Author:** ![Threadkiller](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@Threadkiller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Threadkiller)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/12 "2002-04-01T16:02:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vandal \* > \*\*Well, a single person couldn’t marry a corporation, but another corporation could. You know it as _merging_. So any corporation that merges with a second company without divorcing the first is guilty of bigamy? ---
**Author:** ![xash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c6cbf5/32.png) [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/13 "2002-04-01T16:23:38Z")
**Priest:** Do you, Amp take Microsoft as your lawfully wedded wife ? **Amp:** Yes, I do. **Priest:** And do you Microsoft take Amp to be your lawfully wedded husband ? **Microsoft:** Yes, I \… **Priest:** Ok, let’s try this again… \*meanwhile: someone in the audience whispers, “I told you, you should have married Linux…she’s so much more beautiful…”. \* 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/14 "2002-04-01T16:43:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Schnitte \* > \*\*You can, but you first should ask her father. \*\* You mean…the parent corporation? ---
**Author:** ![3waygeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e95f7d/32.png) [@3waygeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3waygeek)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/15 "2002-07-12T17:50:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fiver \* > \*\*I’m sure Microsoft would insist on a pre-nup, anyway. \*\* But Washington (where MS is headquartered) is a community property state, so a pre-nup might not stick. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/16 "2002-07-12T18:13:23Z")
I’m pretty sure if you look up the marriage laws in your state, you’ll find that it is not possible for a corporation to marry. In U.S. laws, corporations are generally referred to as “fictitious persons” or “legal persons.” Marriage laws don’t refer to such entities. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/17 "2002-07-13T04:52:28Z")
'Scuse me there, Mr. Microsoft. Daisy Mae here says you all been messing around back of the shed there and done got her pregnant. Now, you all won’t mind if you, Daisy Mae, me and my trusty squirrel rifle take a walk down to the Justice O’ the Peace and have ourselves a little ceremony? Well, that’s right nice of ya. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2002, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/18 "2002-11-03T13:50:20Z")
I realize this is **extremely** vague, but a while back, someone posted a link to a site about a woman who thinks she’s married to a building. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/19 "2002-11-03T14:01:26Z")
I read this title and assumed that the OP was over the moon about some new laptop and wanted to sleep with Bill Gates. (I felt that way about Steve Jobs after buying my powerbook a couple of months back). ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2002, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150/20 "2002-11-03T14:19:06Z")
\>\> Can I Marry Microsoft? Do you do Windows? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-marry-microsoft/101150.md?page=2)