“… how do you DO???
now you gonna die…”
Yep, it goes by jurisdiction – from the Puerto Rico Civil Code:
Article 82.-Right to a name.
Every natural person has the right to have and to protect their name, which must be registered in the Demographic Registry in accordance with the law.
Names offensive to the dignity of the person will not be registered.
Article 83.-Content of registration
The name of a person includes the proper or individual name, attached to the first family surnames of the parents.
Article 84.-Recognition and registration by a single parent.
If only one of the parents recognizes and registers the person born, it does so with the two surnames in the same order of that same parent. The subsequent recognition of the other parent justifies the substitution of one of the surnames in the person’s name for that of the parent who recognizes later.
Article 557.- Filiation determines the surnames.
Natural or adoptive filiation [note: legal determination of being-a-child-of] will determine the surnames of the natural person.
Article 558.-Rights arising from filiation.
The child has the right to:
(a) bear the surname of each parent;
In the Demographic Registry law, which in our jurisdiction is a special-case under the general-case of the Civil Code:
Article 19. - The original of the birth certificate, which will be kept in its files by the Demographic Registrar, will contain the following information, which is hereby declared necessary for the legal, social and health purposes of registering the birth:
(3) Name and surnames of the child. If has not yet been received a name at the time of the registration [note: at the time of this being written in 1931, this probably meant if the child had not yet been publicly named by christening], the declarant of his birth will state which name is to be entered, but the person in charge of the registry will not enter extravagant names or names of animals or in any way inappropriate for persons, nor will it admit that surnames known as such become forenames.
(When registering, the parent/s are required to themselves provide ID but it’s usually just whatever they have at hand.)
In practice, the provision about “extravagant” names has never quite been too strictly adhered but rather more focused on complying with the overarching Civil Code mandate to not wound the dignity of the named. And that in turn seems construed as meaning that the words used in the name be themselves insulting or demeaning, rather than for instance being named Jeffrey Epstein Molina.
So in back home the kid must be given the surname(s) of at least the parent claiming them, and by law the registrar is not supposed to let you name your child the equivalent of Dog Lezcano, Secretariat Martínez, Peptobismolgummies Sosa or Slutwhore Cruz, or use one of the -ez surnames or others usually recognized as such as a first name (there ARE a number of names in Spanish that historically serve both as name and surname - Cruz, Rosa, Santiago, Rosario, Martín, for example, so the idea seems to be to stick to the traditionals).
So at least in my home soil it seems your choices would be to call them Martin Brodeur Tripler(-MrsTriplersMaidenName) or Jesse James Tripler(-MrsTriplersMaidenName).