# Can I shoot ET? (Need answer fast) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 4, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249 "2009-11-04T03:15:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/41 "2009-11-07T07:36:30Z")
I don’t think the law would do anything to you for shooting one, but, they would take all the stuff. Plus, they would probably look the other way while others stoned your house and such. You would probably be one of the least popular people on the planet. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/42 "2009-11-07T07:44:20Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > I don’t think the law would do anything to you for shooting one, but, they would take all the stuff. Plus, they would probably look the other way while others stoned your house and such. You would probably be one of the least popular people on the planet. You’d be pretty popular once they rifled through the alien’s stuff and found the cookbook. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/43 "2009-11-07T13:08:56Z")
This thread made the “Threadspotting” feature thingy 😃 ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/44 "2009-11-07T13:47:33Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > 1. I’m peaceably watching a football game, minding my own business, when ET lands his spaceship in my front lawn. He’s reving the engine so loud, I can’t hear the game. Naturally, I look out the window and see an alien in the yard. Being the cautious sort, I grab a pistol before going outside to tell him to shut the hell up and get off my lawn. Harsh words ensue and: > 7a) I blow his ass away; or > 7b) He points something I reasonably believe to be a deadly weapon at me and I blow his ass away. what if the alien likes football? what if the device he points is a hand held replicator and the alien plans on generating hot nachos and cheese and a keg of beer? or the device could be a 3D projector to view the game? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/45 "2009-11-07T16:12:37Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > This thread made the “Threadspotting” feature thingy 😃 Yeah, I thought it was so hilarious so I took the liberty of submitting it. The title makes me giggle so much! And the mental image of E.T.'s head stuck over someone’s mantle. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/46 "2009-11-07T16:30:07Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > what if the alien likes football? > > what if the device he points is a hand held replicator and the alien plans on generating hot nachos and cheese and a keg of beer? or the device could be a 3D projector to view the game? Well, since ET is now on the way to the taxidermist, I’ll just snag, bag, tag (and hide) the replicator before Pete & Myra or Scully & Mulder show up asking for it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/47 "2009-11-08T19:46:03Z")
> [@palindromemordnilap](#): > > “Person” or “individual” is used more than “human” in the relevant laws. E.g., see how Wikip describes eligibility for POTUS–It would be weird to replace “person” with “human”. I suspect judges and juries would deliberate about two seconds before declaring an intelligent alien a “person.” Why do you suspect that? It would almost certainly be an ex post facto law. ---
**Author:** ![foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9a140/32.png) [@foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolscap)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/48 "2009-11-08T20:30:09Z")
> [@coremelt](#): > > 7c) the alien is unaffected, or your weapon jams mysteriously, or you or your weapon disintegrates or you’re frozen in some kind of stasis field before you can fire etc etc > > Any alien with tech to cross interstellar space is unlikely to let themselves be hurt by primitive chemical reaction based weaponry. What if the means are so primitive it never occured to them it was dangerous:smack: ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/49 "2009-11-08T23:01:28Z")
> [@coremelt](#): > > 7c) the alien is unaffected, or your weapon jams mysteriously, or you or your weapon disintegrates or you’re frozen in some kind of stasis field before you can fire etc etc > > Any alien with tech to cross interstellar space is unlikely to let themselves be hurt by primitive chemical reaction based weaponry. What if they’re the retarded aliens from Signs? You know, the ones who run around naked and try to scratch people? ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/50 "2009-11-08T23:27:25Z")
Disclaimer: I don’t believe E.T. life has ever visited Earth or will in my life. I don’t believe in bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster. But, since I was a kid, I thought, _if I ever am confronted with any of these, I’ll do my best to kill it and get the corpse to a reputable authority_. I think I was pissed off at the supposed abductees and sighters on TV who always came away with squat. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/51 "2009-11-09T17:07:24Z")
> [@foolscap](#): > > What if the means are so primitive it never occured to them it was dangerous:smack: You know that chemical reaction is just window dressing. Being struck by high-velocity solid is the real issue. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/52 "2009-11-09T17:09:53Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > You know that chemical reaction is just window dressing. Being struck by high-velocity solid is the real issue. 🙂 High velocity, yes. Solid, not so much. I load hollow points, because I care enough to send the very best. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/53 "2009-11-09T17:19:45Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > High velocity, yes. Solid, not so much. I load hollow points, because I care enough to send the very best. Yeah, but that big hole coming out the back leaves less usable ‘meat’. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/54 "2009-11-09T17:29:09Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Yeah, but that big hole coming out the back leaves less usable ‘meat’. True, but it also reduces the chance of return fire. My .357 is a fine weapon, but ET may be packing something that would level a city block. Better to sacrifice a steak or two than risk a return shot, I think. Also, due to taxidermy concerns, I won’t be going for a headshot. It would really suck to bag the first alien ever, but not be able to mount the head because I blew it off with a hollow point round. I’ll be aiming center mass, and pulling the trigger until I get a click instead of a BANG. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/55 "2009-11-09T18:39:00Z")
My greatest concern in this thread? Shooting the ET automatically makes it non-kosher. I can’t join you all in munching on grilled xenoburgers. ☹ As to which – “xenoburger” only applies if the grillee is sufficiently similar to Terran mammals. Maybe the ET is an oceanic creature (ex: Mon Calamari), in which case I recommend a light lemon-teriyaki glaze, a bed of angel hair pasta, and grilling skewers. Xenoicthykebabs tonight! ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/56 "2009-11-09T19:08:25Z")
I claim that the current law would be mostly inapplicable, but that wouldn’t really matter very much. If it turned out that the aliens were peaceful and we realized it, you’d be vilified and quite possibly punished on whatever trumped up charges would stick. If they turned out to be peacful and we didn’t realize it, and so waged a war against them, you’d just be one more case of humanity defending itself. If it turned out they weren’t peaceful, I expect that the laws and jurisdiction of Anystate would rapidly cease to be a going concern. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/57 "2009-11-09T19:14:28Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > . If they turned out to be peacful and we didn’t realize it, and so waged a war against them, you’d just be one more case of humanity defending itself. Well, yeah…but it’s ET’s own damn fault for landing in my yard, **during a footabll game** , with his gun ports open. Obviously, a peaceful alien would have closed his gun ports to prevent any such misunderstanding. Stupid ET. Now we have to fight a war until they figure out that [del]I’m Valen[/del] aliens and humans share the same souls. And that **Skald the Rhymer** is a Vorlon. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/58 "2009-11-09T20:34:25Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > If it turned out that the aliens were peaceful and we realized it, you’d be vilified and quite possibly punished on whatever trumped up charges would stick. Have you seen Earth lately? The fact the it looks different and has resources we could use would be enough justification for many people to kill or enslave it. I say barbecue his football hating ass (or xeno-equivalent) and call some friends for at tail-gate party. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/60 "2009-11-12T18:04:28Z")
> [@aizen\_fan\_1](#): > > dear mr. oakminster what exactly are you smokking:eek:confused: my former friend rapped et to death so he could not have been there you insolent maggot Forget what he’s smoking. I want whatever you’re on. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249/61 "2009-11-12T18:09:18Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Forget what he’s smoking. I want whatever you’re on. His mom said he’s a naughty boy and can’t have any more. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-shoot-et-need-answer-fast/516249.md?page=4)