# Can I tell someone they're annoying? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [June 6, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205 "2010-06-06T22:44:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/1 "2010-06-06T22:44:20Z")
Or does it fall under no name calling? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/2 "2010-06-06T22:46:17Z")
That’s what the Pit is for. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/3 "2010-06-06T22:52:00Z")
For what purpose? I don’t see a lot of point to it, unless you intend to pick a fight with someone. So in most forums we would probably discourage you from doing so. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/4 "2010-06-06T22:57:56Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > For what purpose? > > I don’t see a lot of point to it, unless you intend to pick a fight with someone. So in most forums we would probably discourage you from doing so. Ok, thank you. I just find someone who does the same thing over and over to be very annoying and I was going to say “Why do you keep doing this, it’s so annoying!”. But I won’t now. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/5 "2010-06-06T23:03:43Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Ok, thank you. > > I just find someone who does the same thing over and over to be very annoying and I was going to say “Why do you keep doing this, it’s so annoying!”. > > But I won’t now. No need to give up - that’s pretty much precisely why we set up The BBQ Pit forum. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/6 "2010-06-06T23:27:05Z")
Send them a PM and tell them. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/7 "2010-06-06T23:38:51Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Ok, thank you. > > I just find someone who does the same thing over and over to be very annoying and I was going to say “Why do you keep doing this, it’s so annoying!”. > > But I won’t now. Doesn’t that fall under the “criticize the action, not the person” rule? It seems that this statement is more critical of what the person is doing, than the person themselves, and should be ok. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/8 "2010-06-06T23:39:59Z")
Is it me? Is it me? Is it me? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/9 "2010-06-06T23:42:40Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Is it me? > Is it me? > Is it me? It is now! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/10 "2010-06-07T00:11:24Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Doesn’t that fall under the “criticize the action, not the person” rule? It seems that this statement is more critical of what the person is doing, than the person themselves, and should be ok. It may be possible to point out in a civil fashion to the person in question that you find their behavior annoying. Our main interest as moderators is having discussions stay on track, and avoid having them disrupted by fights breaking out. A lot is going to depend on the tone and also the forum. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/11 "2010-06-07T00:11:38Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Is it me? > Is it me? > Is it me? Yeah **needscoffee** you’re so freaking annoying! Quit being so helpful and having good ideas! It makes the rest of us look like schmucks! > [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Send them a PM and tell them. I’m too chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/12 "2010-06-07T01:43:07Z")
But you’re not too chicken to tell them on the board in front of people? ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/13 "2010-06-07T01:44:43Z")
Please don’t flood my inbox now everyone. I realize I can be annoying. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/14 "2010-06-07T01:54:38Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > But you’re not too chicken to tell them on the board in front of people? It seems more personal if I sent a message saying “you’re annoying!” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/15 "2010-06-07T02:22:59Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > It seems more personal if I sent a message saying “you’re annoying!” Again, what’s your objective? To get them to stop doing whatever you consider to be annoying? Or just to vent your annoyance? ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/16 "2010-06-07T02:49:57Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Again, what’s your objective? To get them to stop doing whatever you consider to be annoying? Or just to vent your annoyance? Probably just vent my annoyance. I wouldn’t have any delusions that they would stop just because I said so. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/17 "2010-06-07T02:53:26Z")
So start a pit thread, and say mean things on the internet. For bonus points\*, do it in comic fashion, or rhymed couplets. For a gold medal\*\*, do it in haiku. - the points do not matter. \*\* gold medal not included ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/18 "2010-06-07T03:00:01Z")
As an example, \* Oak, I find you act asshole-ly You make me sick, like guacamole Read you posts, I’m all eye-rolley Please shut up, and effin blow me.\* Except I don’t think you can say “blow me” in the pit anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/19 "2010-06-07T03:12:50Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Probably just vent my annoyance. I wouldn’t have any delusions that they would stop just because I said so. Nor should they. Just because you find something someone does annoying doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who find the same thing endlessly fascinating. If you PM them, they might tell you they find you annoying too, and then you’d have something to bond about! 😛 If you Pit them, there’s always a possibility it could turn on you, but it’s way more entertaining for the audience, which is why you might see some encouragement for that here. > [@Oakminster](#): > > As an example, ::takes notes:: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205/20 "2010-06-07T03:29:42Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > Probably just vent my annoyance. I wouldn’t have any delusions that they would stop just because I said so. In that case, the Pit is really the appropriate place for it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-tell-someone-theyre-annoying/542205.md?page=2)