# Can I transplant a penis onto my hand? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 22, 2007, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464 "2007-11-22T22:51:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chasing\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@Chasing\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chasing_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2007, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/1 "2007-11-22T22:51:11Z")
Would it work, live, and be functional? ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2007, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/2 "2007-11-22T22:58:03Z")
[QUOTE=Chasing Dreams] Would it work, live, and be functional? [/QUOTE] I would think there would be a problem with nerves. Aren’t nerves specialized? Also, a penis requires a considerable blood supply for erection. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/3 "2007-11-22T22:59:19Z")
This question has already been answered with the film\* Edward Penishands.\* ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2007, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/4 "2007-11-22T23:00:14Z")
Well, unless you connected it to the bladder, the prostate and the testicles it wouldn’t be functional. It’d look a bit odd, as well. Some people might be unwilling to shake hands with you. (Others might \*like \*it.) ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/5 "2007-11-22T23:03:13Z")
Best username/topic combination ever? ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/6 "2007-11-23T00:11:04Z")
[QUOTE=Chasing Dreams] Can I transplant a penis onto my hand? [/QUOTE] But you’d have to do the operation one-handed. It’d be hard. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/7 "2007-11-23T00:18:17Z")
[QUOTE=Askance] But you’d have to do the operation one-handed. It’d be hard. [/QUOTE] Not if the operation wasn’t successful. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/8 "2007-11-23T00:22:06Z")
[QUOTE=Chasing Dreams] Would it work, live, and be functional? [/QUOTE] You didn’t specify that it be your own penis. Could be a horse, a dog, or a mouse. Anything. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/9 "2007-11-23T02:58:44Z")
[QUOTE=Askance] But you’d have to do the operation one-handed. **It’d be hard**. [/QUOTE] Pun intended? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/10 "2007-11-23T03:32:57Z")
[QUOTE=Alive At Both Ends] Well, unless you connected it to the bladder, the prostate and the testicles it wouldn’t be functional. It’d look a bit odd, as well. Some people might be unwilling to shake hands with you. (Others might \*like \*it.) [/QUOTE] The prostate and testicles do not generally empty their contents into the bladder but rather direct their secretions down the urethra and out the penis. Unless retrograde ejaculation is occurring, of course. Otherwise, as has already been noted, it’s a problem with enervation and adequate blood supply. ---
**Author:** ![tonedef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@tonedef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonedef)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/11 "2007-11-23T04:05:46Z")
a quick questions, why? It brings a whole new to meaning to finger fucking someone ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/12 "2007-11-23T04:11:17Z")
Why just the hand? Why not cover your entire body with erect penises that can also urinate? Wait…I figured that one out myself…nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Chasing\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@Chasing\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chasing_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/13 "2007-11-23T05:18:07Z")
[QUOTE=tonedef] a quick questions, why? It brings a whole new to meaning to finger fucking someone [/QUOTE] Somebody must have a fetish for this type of thing. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/14 "2007-11-23T05:55:33Z")
[QUOTE=Chasing Dreams] Somebody must have a fetish for this type of thing. [/QUOTE] Well, it should be noted that **Argent Towers** wasn’t just making up the title “Edward Penishands”. I’ve seen part of that one myself. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/15 "2007-11-23T05:59:18Z")
[Ears Today, Penises Tomorrow:](http://www.bbc.co.uk/nottingham/content/articles/2007/10/15/ear_man_stelarc_feature.shtml) > [@](#): > > A former research fellow at Nottingham Trent University is growing an ear on his arm, in the name of art. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/16 "2007-11-23T06:18:12Z")
This would be the end of civilization as we know it. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/17 "2007-11-23T14:53:17Z")
Sure. All of us here in Bird-In-Hand, PA, have done it. Not hard at all. Jobs are real handy, though. We’re short of Intercourse but near Paradise. [http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Bird+in+Hand,+PA,+USA&sa=X&oi=map&ct=title](http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Bird+in+Hand,+PA,+USA&sa=X&oi=map&ct=title) ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/18 "2007-11-23T21:51:12Z")
[QUOTE=Qadgop the Mercotan] The prostate and testicles do not generally empty their contents into the bladder [/QUOTE] I never said they did. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/19 "2007-11-23T22:20:41Z")
Wow…just, wow. Imagine the possibilities…I mean you could threaten some crazy sounding bad ass stuff like “I’m going to bitch slap you with my dick” and then you could actually _do_ it. Someone call Samuel Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![yelimS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/54ee81/32.png) [@yelimS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yelimS)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2007, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464/20 "2007-11-23T22:25:27Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] Best username/topic combination ever? [/QUOTE] bonus for **Alive At Both Ends** posting to it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-i-transplant-a-penis-onto-my-hand/427464.md?page=2)