# Can Martha Stewart do ANYTHING?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [June 4, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710 "2009-06-04T16:12:55Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710/21 "2009-06-04T19:47:42Z")

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Well, she can’t engage in insider trading…

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**Author:** ![ProfessorX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@ProfessorX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProfessorX)\
**Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710/22 "2009-06-04T20:22:20Z")

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When Martha Stewart does pushups, she’s actually pushing the world down.

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**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710/23 "2009-06-05T00:48:50Z")

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Teach ladies how to give the perfect blowjob with handmade ornamental bows during it and proper thank you cards afterwards. She is a little old for me but I will volunteer to be the prop on her show.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710/24 "2009-06-05T03:25:45Z")

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[Make these](http://z.about.com/d/familycrafts/1/0/h/k/1/padslippers.jpg)

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**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710/25 "2009-06-05T14:57:35Z")

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Xander: “When did you become Martha Stewart?”  
Buffy: “First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.”  
Xander: “I don’t believe she slays, either.”  
Oz: “Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn’t like to.”

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**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\
**Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-martha-stewart-do-anything/498710/26 "2009-06-05T15:08:33Z")

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> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> [Make these](http://z.about.com/d/familycrafts/1/0/h/k/1/padslippers.jpg)

Holy crap. Those are ridiculous… and soooo something she’d make. If that 40 and Taco Bell went to her head and she became all white-trash and such.

But that would never happen to our dear Martha!

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