# Can one separate the Pit from real life? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 4, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484 "2004-05-04T16:45:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/81 "2004-05-05T17:55:54Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > nobody ever emails me about them. (sniff) pro’lly 'cause of that sinus problem you have. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/82 "2004-05-05T18:05:40Z")
> [@iampunha](#): > > In case **leander** is interested in facts, I’m sure **Airman Doors** , **Bluesman** , **Lucretia** , **Geobabe** (to name a few) and/or I would be happy to vouch for your board personality being very, very similar to your IRL personality. Not that it’s necessary at this point in the conversation, but I will vouch as well. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/83 "2004-05-05T18:09:45Z")
I, for one, would refuse to buy anyone a beer. Because beer is for pussies. I _will_, however, be only too glad to sponsor a round of Singapore Slings should I ever, through sheer happenstance, wind up at a Dopefest. Frankly, I always act as if politics is always just _one_ aspect of a person, out of many. And I’ve always preferred one-on-one debates, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/84 "2004-05-05T18:10:58Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > I know we’ve had a spat or two lately, but I hope I’m not one of them. Certainly not! (replies just to prove it) ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/85 "2004-05-05T18:15:33Z")
Thanks for the love, **DantheMan** and **Iampunha**. It’s deeply appreciated. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/86 "2004-05-05T18:21:21Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > There’s one coming up? I should spend more time in MPSIMS, I guess, since nobody ever emails me about them. (sniff) [Weekend of the 21st](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=250027). ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/87 "2004-05-05T18:37:54Z")
I was going to say: Gee, I’ve never been pitted to my knowledge. I’ve never pitted anyone to my knowledge. (Which is the cause and which is the effect remains to be seen.) I tend not to get caught up in the drama and if I see a thread or a post that pisses me off, I just stay off the boards until I’ve forgotten all about it. I’m also fairly busy IRL so sometimes I don’t see the boards for days or weeks at a time. The one and only time I’ve met Dopers IRL or at a Dopefest, I had difficulty keeping track of which person belonged to which user name. I have trouble with names. So no, I don’t think I’d bring baggage from The Pit out into the Real World with me. Now if someone pitted me just to be nasty… that would be another colored horse. On second thought … nevermind. As if you actually wanted my opinion. I’m not a member of this in-crowd clique so I will now shuffle off to some other thread, where my opinion will most likely be ignored there as well. ::whistling, "Always look on the bright side of life:: ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/88 "2004-05-05T18:58:52Z")
Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/89 "2004-05-05T19:09:43Z")
I think it’s wonderful that people who disagree on one thread can turn around and argue the same side in an entirely unrelated thread, and I think that’s true regardless of the amount of vitriol present. The Pit gives us a place to vent, which is not a luxury we have IRL. I’ve participated in heated Pit threads with people who have told me that I have phenomenally limited comprehension and should crawl under a rock, and I’ve flamed them back, but I hold no long term grudge and would gladly have a beer with them IRL. There’s only one poster who has completely pissed me off, and let’s just say that’s one beer I’d rather not drink. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/90 "2004-05-05T19:14:08Z")
All I know is that the internet, and this messageboard, _is_ “real life,” just as **KellyM** says. I met and fell in love with my husband online. I’ve been stalked online. I can’t view it all as playacting or as something that doesn’t matter. Assholes are going to reap the whirlwind sown by their behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/91 "2004-05-05T19:28:47Z")
Edlyn and I met online. We married about two years later. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/92 "2004-05-05T19:36:52Z")
I can overlook lots of stuff when there’s cocktails involved. 🆒 Except for those people who crossed the line in that thread we’ve been referencing. The cut direct would be be my second choice. Vacating the situation would probably be first. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/93 "2004-05-05T19:43:48Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I met and fell in love with my husband online. I’ve been stalked online. I met my ex online, and was stalked by her online after we split up. I also met my current girlfriend online. Anyone who thinks what they do on the Internet lacks reality is seriously lacking in reality. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/94 "2004-05-05T19:46:59Z")
It’s difficult for me to separate a person’s online persona with their real life persona. In fact, I don’t see a difference. You are who you are. Why would you change yourself when you post. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. That being said, I’m more than capable of arguing with someone–on or offline–and still being able to have a few beers with him or her. We don’t all have to agree and it’s understandable that disgreements can become rather animated or heated. It’s to be expected when people are talking about politics, religion or things they hold dear. There are at least two posters, however, that will have to work very, very hard for me to think of them as anything but complete asses were we to ever meet in person. One of them has even been defended by posters whose opinions I hold in high regard as being a decent enough fella. I don’t see how it’s even remotely possible unless he intentionally posts inflammatory things to get a rise out of people. Even if that’s the case, I’d still be thinking to myself, upon meeting him, just how much of an ass he is. Having an opinion and expressing it is one thing. Being an asshole about it is quite another. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/95 "2004-05-05T19:53:33Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I can overlook lots of stuff when there’s cocktails involved. 🆒 Except for those people who crossed the line in that thread we’ve been referencing. Um, in all seriousness… am I one of the linecrossers? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/96 "2004-05-05T20:00:12Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Um, in all seriousness… am I one of the linecrossers? Assuming the incident in question is the one cited in the OP (I’m fairly sure it is), I’m fairly sure you aren’t. That happened in New York, and I don’t believe you were there. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/97 "2004-05-05T20:07:00Z")
> [@Olentzero](#): > > Um, in all seriousness… am I one of the linecrossers? No. The incident was a two-parter: a face-to-face meeting (that I was not part of) and some real nasty shit-slinging on the part of the two that have been virtually shunned. I said some of the nastiest things I’ve ever said to a human being. I’m not particularly proud of how low I sunk on that one, but the situation infuriated me and I rather lost it. To my knowledge you were not involved in the face-to-face, and if you were part of the thread, I don’t recall you being a line-crosser. I’m pretty sure you’d already know if you did. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/98 "2004-05-05T20:25:30Z")
**Olentzero** , I think people are referring to a couple of our former resident fundies, **JoeCool** and **JerseyDiamond**. Online, they were both frequently…well, to call them dick-munching shitheads would be an insult to dick-munchers and shitheads everywhere. Their posts were rude, insensitive, judgemental, and sometimes just gratuitously insulting for no apparent reason. (The whole bit about **Eve** and the quality of her reassignment surgery springs immediately to mind. That was some ugly shit, in case you weren’t here for it. Assholery of breathtaking proportions, it was. If I were her, I’d be more inclined to employ the Bitchslap Direct, but she’s usually much more of a lady than I am.) Online, meatspace, it didn’t matter. They were shitstains to everyone who didn’t fit their ideas of Godly behavior. But if they approved of your lifestyle, they were apparently quite friendly, kind, generous, and charming. It made for an odd dichotomy, where someone who was consistently a jerk was getting defended as a pretty good guy. I personally can’t classify someone who is regularly a jerk as a good guy, but I suppose mileage varies. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/99 "2004-05-05T20:31:56Z")
Ah, OK. There have been at least three threads referenced in here, and she and I were both involved in at least one where I got called out for vitriol, so I just wanted to make sure. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484/100 "2004-05-05T21:00:21Z")
**gobear** , you are a coward. You are willing to engage me here on these boards, but if you ever met me you’d “pretend I don’t exist”? How pathetic. Come on, my boy, stand up for yourself. Don’t be intimidated by people IRL. If you’re capable of being a nasty little bitch here, then you should have the courage to do it in person. Stick by your beliefs, even if you’re scared…and maybe one day you won’t be such a gutless coward. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-separate-the-pit-from-real-life/243484.md?page=6)