# Can one successfully "Fix a Broken Woman"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2016, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726 "2016-03-31T11:37:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/1 "2016-03-31T11:37:32Z")
Where I work, there seem to be a few women in my department who have a lot, no, a LOT, of life issues. Drugs/alcohol abuse is a common factor. Another is a proliferation of ex-husbands, all POS quality. Another is the “promiscuity” factor. A loooonnnnng list of sex partners. Also, a couple of the ones in my department were talking about the great men they were engaged to, yet, had a last minute streak of one-night-stands in the months/weeks before their weddings, and weren’t overly shy about letting people in my department know about it. On Facebook, they, semi-regularly, note their successful completion of self-improvement classes :eek:, yet, 2 weeks later, talk of going to the huge kegger parties, being ready to slap the shit out of bitches who looked at their men wrong, etc… A couple have daughters who are out of control, sleeping with the whole neighborhood, ditching school, police problems, etc…which I interpret as a “like mother like daughter” kind of thing. May be wrong, but, who cares? At any rate, in my conversations with them, they seem, MOL, normal. Sure, they have strong opinions, but, they are coherent, and don’t seem too evil; they don’t seem to be irrational, but have just made bad choices, which they are having a problem coping with. It seems, to me, that with a little “careful treatment”, they would be “normal”. The consensus of the guys with whom I work is that these women are broken. They contend that this kind of woman will ALWAYS be having this type of problem, and if you fix the 20 problems that they have now, another 40 will arise. So, to the main: What do you think? Can these women be fixed? How? Have you, or do you know anybody who has successfully made a match with somebody like this? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/2 "2016-03-31T11:41:29Z")
It’s extremely difficult to fix the problems of any person who doesn’t want to be fixed. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/3 "2016-03-31T11:48:44Z")
Reported for forum change. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/4 "2016-03-31T11:54:10Z")
Moved to IMHO ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/5 "2016-03-31T11:55:45Z")
You can only support (from a wide range of ways to support someone) someone as they do the work of fixing themselves. However, you can absolutely sabotage someone’s attempt to fix themselves. ---
**Author:** ![edwards\_beard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@edwards\_beard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwards_beard)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/6 "2016-03-31T11:57:49Z")
Why limit the question to women? The answer is the same for both sexes. The only person that can fix someone is that person. If you try and fix someone, you will just have a very frustrating time for yourself. The one thing you can do if offer your support to someone that is trying to fix themselves, other than that, just work on improving yourself. Maybe that would be leading by example. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/7 "2016-03-31T12:19:05Z")
It seems like most of the women I know whose lives are broken, appear to suffer from (among many other things) a lack of intimate relationships. So I’m having a little trouble understanding how “broken woman” is defined. Do you simply mean “loose”? ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/8 "2016-03-31T12:31:47Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Moved to IMHO Sorry, I thought that that’s where I was. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/9 "2016-03-31T12:33:54Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > It seems like most of the women I know whose lives are broken, appear to suffer from (among many other things) a lack of intimate relationships. So I’m having a little trouble understanding how “broken woman” is defined. Do you simply mean “loose”? Hmmm…good question. I wish I had a good answer. :o ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/10 "2016-03-31T12:40:13Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Where I work, there seem to be a few women in my department who have a lot, no, a LOT, of life issues. > > Drugs/alcohol abuse is a common factor. Another is a proliferation of ex-husbands, all POS quality. Another is the “promiscuity” factor. A loooonnnnng list of sex partners. Also, a couple of the ones in my department were talking about the great men they were engaged to, yet, had a last minute streak of one-night-stands in the months/weeks before their weddings, and weren’t overly shy about letting people in my department know about it. > On Facebook, they, semi-regularly, note their successful completion of self-improvement classes :eek:, yet, 2 weeks later, talk of going to the huge kegger parties, being ready to slap the shit out of bitches who looked at their men wrong, etc… > > A couple have daughters who are out of control, sleeping with the whole neighborhood, ditching school, police problems, etc…which I interpret as a “like mother like daughter” kind of thing. May be wrong, but, who cares? > > At any rate, in my conversations with them, they seem, MOL, normal. Sure, they have strong opinions, but, they are coherent, and don’t seem too evil; they don’t seem to be irrational, but have just made bad choices, which they are having a problem coping with. It seems, to me, that with a little “careful treatment”, they would be “normal”. The consensus of the guys with whom I work is that these women are broken. They contend that this kind of woman will ALWAYS be having this type of problem, and if you fix the 20 problems that they have now, another 40 will arise. > > So, to the main: > > What do you think? Can these women be fixed? How? Have you, or do you know anybody who has successfully made a match with somebody like this? These "life issues " these women are facing - do they seem bothered by them or just you and the other men in your department? No one is going to make any effort to live up to your standards u less the share those standards and feel they are galling short. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/11 "2016-03-31T12:51:30Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Also, a couple of the ones in my department were talking about the great men they were engaged to, yet, had a last minute streak of one-night-stands in the months/weeks before their weddings Well, look at it this way, I mean, technically, their marriage is saved. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/12 "2016-03-31T12:53:24Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Where I work, there seem to be a few women in my department who have a lot, no, a LOT, of life issues. > > Drugs/alcohol abuse is a common factor. Another is a proliferation of ex-husbands, all POS quality. Another is the “promiscuity” factor. A loooonnnnng list of sex partners. Also, a couple of the ones in my department were talking about the great men they were engaged to, yet, had a last minute streak of one-night-stands in the months/weeks before their weddings, and weren’t overly shy about letting people in my department know about it. > On Facebook, they, semi-regularly, note their successful completion of self-improvement classes :eek:, yet, 2 weeks later, talk of going to the huge kegger parties, being ready to slap the shit out of bitches who looked at their men wrong, etc… > > A couple have daughters who are out of control, sleeping with the whole neighborhood, ditching school, police problems, etc…which I interpret as a “like mother like daughter” kind of thing. May be wrong, but, who cares? > > At any rate, in my conversations with them, they seem, MOL, normal. Sure, they have strong opinions, but, they are coherent, and don’t seem too evil; they don’t seem to be irrational, but have just made bad choices, which they are having a problem coping with. It seems, to me, that with a little “careful treatment”, they would be “normal”. The consensus of the guys with whom I work is that these women are broken. They contend that this kind of woman will ALWAYS be having this type of problem, and if you fix the 20 problems that they have now, another 40 will arise. > > So, to the main: > > What do you think? Can these women be fixed? How? Have you, or do you know anybody who has successfully made a match with somebody like this? Congratulations! You win the Carefully Considered Misogynistic Post of the month award! You’ve certainly set a high bar for April’s contenders. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/13 "2016-03-31T13:37:58Z")
My guess is the only people who think these women are “broken” are other men. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/14 "2016-03-31T13:52:28Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Congratulations! You win the Carefully Considered Misogynistic Post of the month award! You’ve certainly set a high bar for April’s contenders. You did see the one about dinner and sex in the 1950s, right? I’m not saying your choice is wrong, I just want to make sure all deserving entries are given due consideration. **handsomeharry** , the basic answer to your question is this: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. That holds true for all humans, whether you deem them to be broken or not. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/15 "2016-03-31T14:05:58Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Where I work, there seem to be a few women in my department who have a lot, no, a LOT, of life issues. > > Drugs/alcohol abuse is a common factor. Another is a proliferation of ex-husbands, all POS quality. Another is the “promiscuity” factor. A loooonnnnng list of sex partners. Also, a couple of the ones in my department were talking about the great men they were engaged to, yet, had a last minute streak of one-night-stands in the months/weeks before their weddings, and weren’t overly shy about letting people in my department know about it. > On Facebook, they, semi-regularly, note their successful completion of self-improvement classes :eek:, yet, 2 weeks later, talk of going to the huge kegger parties, being ready to slap the shit out of bitches who looked at their men wrong, etc… > > A couple have daughters who are out of control, sleeping with the whole neighborhood, ditching school, police problems, etc…which I interpret as a “like mother like daughter” kind of thing. May be wrong, but, who cares? > > At any rate, in my conversations with them, they seem, MOL, normal. Sure, they have strong opinions, but, they are coherent, and don’t seem too evil; they don’t seem to be irrational, but have just made bad choices, which they are having a problem coping with. It seems, to me, that with a little “careful treatment”, they would be “normal”. The consensus of the guys with whom I work is that these women are broken. They contend that this kind of woman will ALWAYS be having this type of problem, and if you fix the 20 problems that they have now, another 40 will arise. > > So, to the main: > > What do you think? Can these women be fixed? How? Have you, or do you know anybody who has successfully made a match with somebody like this? What you’re describing is the way women behave when they have the freedom to do so. They aren’t “broken.” The problems they have are just the costs inherent in living the way they prefer to live. These women would fiercely resist any attempt to change their lifestyles. Is it a good idea for men to stay away from these women? Hell, yes! But then, these women may be the only ones available. Just don’t wife them up, and make sure to protect yourself against sexual harassment and false rape accusations. Like the rappers say, You can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t be Captain Save-a-Ho. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/16 "2016-03-31T14:12:00Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > My guess is the only people who think these women are “broken” are other men. Probably men full of resentment that they aren’t getting any from these loose women. Forty year old virgins, sitting in judgment. Do people occasionally exhibit self-destructive behavior? Yes–both genders. You can’t “fix” anyone–they need to fix themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/17 "2016-03-31T14:20:53Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > You did see the one about dinner and sex in the 1950s, right? I’m not saying your choice is wrong, I just want to make sure all deserving entries are given due consideration. > > **handsomeharry** , the basic answer to your question is this: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. That holds true for all humans, whether you deem them to be broken or not. Ah, I seem to have missed that entry. We may need a special category for Carefully Considered Analyses of When and Under What Conditions Women are Such Sluts. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/18 "2016-03-31T14:28:06Z")
No. All you can do is be there… somewhere in the distance… when they’re done. If they need to talk, they’ll know where they can find you… ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/19 "2016-03-31T15:25:51Z")
I hope not. I wouldn’t want to babysit a grown woman who has fucked her life up. 99 problems isn’t enough for some people. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2016, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/20 "2016-03-31T15:35:18Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > What you’re describing is the way women behave when they have the freedom to do so. They aren’t “broken.” The problems they have are just the costs inherent in living the way they prefer to live. These women would fiercely resist any attempt to change their lifestyles. > > Is it a good idea for men to stay away from these women? Hell, yes! But then, these women may be the only ones available. Just don’t wife them up, and make sure to protect yourself against sexual harassment and false rape accusations. > > Like the rappers say, You can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t be Captain Save-a-Ho. I don’t know, ladies. Is it too late to add this one to the pile? I’d hate for a worthy candidate to not be nominated. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726.md?page=2)