# Can one successfully "Fix a Broken Woman"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2016, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726 "2016-03-31T11:37:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/61 "2016-04-03T22:13:25Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I think some angry man needs a rescue and a hug (( :mad: )) Awwww! And, you were thinking about me! Bless your heart! ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2016, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/62 "2016-04-04T02:57:00Z")
When women complain, bitch, and moan, they don’t want an answer or a way to be fixed, they just want someone to listen and sympathize. One of the most annoying traits of men is that after you tell them details about your personal life, they try to FIX IT instead of just saying something soothing. So just don’t go there. NEVER try to fix someone’s life. They probably like their life most of the time. ---
**Author:** ![bubba001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f17d59/32.png) [@bubba001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubba001)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2016, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/63 "2016-04-04T03:23:55Z")
I come from a long, semi honorable line of drunks and whack jobs. You can’t fix us. At some point we might get semi domesticated, but usually that’s a result age and health issues coming to the fore. And basically, most of us like it like that. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2016, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/64 "2016-04-04T03:29:16Z")
> [@astro](#): > > But no one talks about emotionally “rescuing” a man from making poor life choices . . . I used to, not that it ever worked . . . until I met a man who didn’t need to be rescued. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2016, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/65 "2016-04-04T05:20:35Z")
You can’t “fix” anyone except for yourself. FWIW, I am aware of some relationships that have improved when men improved themselves and their partners responded in kind. In some cases they’d probably been perceived as “broken women.” But in any event it was only possible with individuals deciding to improve themselves and not “fix” others. In my experience “broken” people don’t want “fixing” and if they say they do they eventually blame the “fixer”- often simultaneously for TRYING to fix them AND not being successful at it. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2016, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/66 "2016-04-04T05:29:42Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Where I work, there seem to be a few women in my department who have a lot, no, a LOT, of life issues. > > Drugs/alcohol abuse is a common factor. Another is a proliferation of ex-husbands, all POS quality. Another is the “promiscuity” factor. A loooonnnnng list of sex partners. Also, a couple of the ones in my department were talking about the great men they were engaged to, yet, had a last minute streak of one-night-stands in the months/weeks before their weddings, and weren’t overly shy about letting people in my department know about it. > On Facebook, they, semi-regularly, note their successful completion of self-improvement classes :eek:, yet, 2 weeks later, talk of going to the huge kegger parties, being ready to slap the shit out of bitches who looked at their men wrong, etc… > > A couple have daughters who are out of control, sleeping with the whole neighborhood, ditching school, police problems, etc…which I interpret as a “like mother like daughter” kind of thing. May be wrong, but, who cares? > > At any rate, in my conversations with them, they seem, MOL, normal. Sure, they have strong opinions, but, they are coherent, and don’t seem too evil; they don’t seem to be irrational, but have just made bad choices, which they are having a problem coping with. It seems, to me, that with a little “careful treatment”, they would be “normal”. The consensus of the guys with whom I work is that these women are broken. They contend that this kind of woman will ALWAYS be having this type of problem, and if you fix the 20 problems that they have now, another 40 will arise. > > So, to the main: > > What do you think? \*\*Can these women be fixed? \*\*How? Have you, or do you know anybody who has successfully made a match with somebody like this? Can you describe what they would look like/ how they would behave if they were fixed? What would the difference be? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2016, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/67 "2016-04-05T13:57:32Z")
My wife has a tendency to attract such women to her because she is so friendly and she listens. The “woe is me” types and my wife gets sucked in wanting to help. Dang these women really suck the energy out of you. My wife comes back from work or off the phone all stressed out and it effects the rest of the family. Call me whatever name you want but I have put my foot down and basically told my wife to stand up to such people and quit being their go-to therapist. I tell her to listen, give advice, but if so and so doesnt do anything to change to just tell them “I dont want to hear anymore of your problems”. After this advice my wife has said its worked out better because such women quickly go find someone else’s shoulder to cry on and so were not truly friends. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2016, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726/68 "2016-04-06T02:10:34Z")
In my own personal experience, the desire to be with an emotionally damaged person and “fix” them is a good sign that you are, in fact, an emotionally damaged person who wants (and needs) to be “fixed.” I’ve not been in many romantic relationships in my life, but I have had friendships, and even family relationships in which I set out to “fix” the other person, only to find myself sad, frustrated, and angry that they didn’t return the favor. Instead, they were angry and annoyed with my attempts. In the end, I did nothing for them, except for making myself a pest. I can’t tell you what to do. I’m in therapy to help myself, and, with work and luck and a little bravery, perhaps I’ll find myself someone healthy, someone who works on and fixes himself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-one-successfully-fix-a-broken-woman/750726.md?page=3)