# Can someone explain E.T. to me please? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 25, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173 "2014-12-25T20:23:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yodalicious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yodalicious/32/8195_2.png) [@Yodalicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yodalicious)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2014, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/41 "2014-12-26T23:34:43Z")
> [@blueslipper](#): > > I did not think I would have to explain this… > since E.T. can make the bicycle fly at the end, why doesn’t he use it to fly in the beginning of the film to avoid pursuit? > > Why in the worlds did E.T.'s companions abandon him in the beginning? > > He is insanely scared of things… > > Why didn’t he contact his shipmates to stop them leaving without him? > > When Elliot is teaching him, he seems like an idiot Maybe he can’t fly high enough or fast enough to get away. I’m sure they didn’t want to leave E.T. behind, but better one lost then all getting caught. He’s scared of things he doesn’t understand… at first. Lots of people are like this. He was probably trying, but they had to get away. Because he doesn’t understand and Elliot is not a good teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/42 "2014-12-27T00:40:48Z")
> [@blueslipper](#): > > “… Is this the only movie where a person’s keys jangle when they run, or are there others?..” Sure. In cowboy movies and spaghetti westerns… when the Sheriff jangles the keys to the jail house you know someone’s gettin locked up. ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/43 "2014-12-27T02:32:34Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > snip > > Let’s drop you on an alien world and see how brave you are. (This is why you don’t see E.T’s in starfleet) But you do see them in Star Wars. And they can kick all the EU out of Star Wars that they want now that they are making a new EU, but E.T.s are in a Star Wars movie. E.T. even recognizes Yoda in his own movie. So they’re canon. He’s a _Jedi_. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/44 "2014-12-27T02:44:58Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > E.T.s are in a Star Wars movie. This is, surprisingly, true. [There are E.T. species in the Senate Chamber in Attack of the Clones.](http://www.oafe.net/yo/art/necaetgf7.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/45 "2014-12-27T02:46:17Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > I took her post to be a simple question, not a comment. I’ve seen the movie, and I have the same question for you. I first saw the movie when I was five, and even then I thought E.T. was supposed to be a bit slow. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/46 "2014-12-27T03:52:14Z")
ET is actually a demon in league with Satan trying to corrupt children. You can tell because of his head being shaped like a cobra. Cite: Some flier the crazy mom across the street gave to my mom back when ET was new. No, I don’t understand the cobra thing either. Did those nuts even see a picture of ET? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/47 "2014-12-27T04:31:31Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > This is, surprisingly, true. [There are E.T. species in the Senate Chamber in Attack of the Clones.](http://www.oafe.net/yo/art/necaetgf7.jpg) Linky no worky. Try this: [Grebleips | Wookieepedia | Fandom](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Grebleips) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/48 "2014-12-27T04:52:05Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Linky no worky. Try this: [Grebleips | Wookieepedia | Fandom](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Grebleips) Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/49 "2014-12-27T05:13:19Z")
> [@Sister\_Vigilante](#): > > But you do see them in Star Wars. And they can kick all the EU out of Star Wars that they want now that they are making a new EU, but E.T.s are in a Star Wars movie. E.T. even recognizes Yoda in his own movie. So they’re canon. > > He’s a _Jedi_. Did anyone besides me notice that Legolas is a Jedi too? Dang, that cult is widespread! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/50 "2014-12-27T19:10:08Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > A planet populated solely by nonaggressive herbivores?!? Pull the other one! > > Predators would evolve to detect whatever frequencies of light they need to in order to hunt. Otherwise they’d die out in a hurry. He didn’t say no predators on the planet, he suggested that the ETs had no predators. Which is not unusual. It’s also not unusual for animals to evolve to perceive only a limited portion of the spectrum. Humans, for example, are the apex predator on Earth, and yet somehow we never evolved to see the infrared or ultraviolet spectrum, despite the significant advantage that would give us as hunters. And, of course, bioluminescence is also a real thing. Lighting up like a Christmas tree is not always a poor survival strategy. Lots of predators use it to good effect. ETs might have originally evolved their chest lights as a lure to draw in prey. Or it could be a threat display, like a poison dart frog: don’t eat this glowy thing, it’ll make you really sick. In that situation, an instinctive reaction to hold still so the predator gets a real good look at your warning sign would be a good idea. Hell, for all we know, there might be an offensive aspect to that glow. If a glowing finger can alter the structure of skin and meat so as to seal a wound, could it also be used to open one? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/51 "2014-12-27T19:37:13Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Hell, for all we know, there might be an offensive aspect to that glow. If a glowing finger can alter the structure of skin and meat so as to seal a wound, could it also be used to open one? Got your nose! No, seriously, _I got your nose_; I glow-fingered your nostrils, so they’re sealed shut. Your mouth gets sealed shut next, for to take your breath away. You’ll have to take my word for it, since, y’know, your eyes got sealed shut on my first pass. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/52 "2014-12-27T19:59:40Z")
ET was a living construct designed by Sally, the woman who ensnared Elliot’s absent father. They live in Mexico not, as one would suspect, to avoid paying alimony and child support, but because of a lack of regulations and laws regarding biological and genetic testing. ET was created to prove to American child-custody authorities that Dee Wallace was an uncaring, inattentive mother, incapable of raising three children by herself. By the end of the movie, the accumulation of evidence was overwhelming… 1. ET stayed in the house for days w/o Dee Wallace knowing it. 2. Elliott suffered a psychotic break in biology class. 3. ET was clearly in Dee Wallace’s view when she came back from the grocery store, Gertie even alerting her to ET’s presence… and she still didn’t notice. 4. Eventually, Elliott came so close to death because of Dee Wallace’s sloppy-assed housekeeping that the house had to be quarantined by Federal Officials. 5. ET has recorded evidence that Dee Wallace let her kids, one as young as 4, go trick or treating w/o adult supervision. In addition, ET has additional evidence to show that Elliott can get out of the house and stay in the woods overnight, without supplies to keep him warm and healthy… and Dee Wallace is completely clueless. The sequel was to be the child-custody hearing, but apparently Speilberg got so caught up in the _Twilight Zone_ scandal (and his impending $100 million divorce from Amy Irving) that he was uninterested in doing any movies with a legal bent. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/53 "2014-12-27T20:36:43Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > A planet populated solely by nonaggressive herbivores?!? Pull the other one! > > Predators would evolve to detect whatever frequencies of light they need to in order to hunt. Otherwise they’d die out in a hurry. If they are an ancient race, it’s possible they killed off anything dangerous early after they evolved intelligence. Also, if we could alter Earth’s climate so we didn’t need clothes, we probably wouldn’t wear a lot of clothes either. ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/54 "2014-12-27T22:07:15Z")
ET is from a civilization with technological capability to make spacecraft and smart enough to build an interplanetary (at least) communications device from random scrap, but were completely unprepared for anything unexpected happening on their expedition. They had no emergency communication equipment, no plan to rescue a stranded crewmember, no plan for what to do in the case of hostile contact other than “They saw us, run for it!”. This isn’t the behavior of a scientific expedition. It’s the behavior of incompetent criminals. My theory is that ET and his friends were a group of drug smugglers, sneaking onto earth in a possibly stolen spaceship to score some prime earth drugs. (We know that they can metabolize biochemicals found in Earth plants, and can apparently get drunk). When the crew of that ship panicked and left, it wasn’t because they were scared of the humans approaching with flashlights. They were scared that the actual alien authorities would spot them. ET didn’t fly back up to his spaceship because he was stoned out of his mind at the time (and probably for most of the movie, too, with Elliot feeding him a steady supply of candy). The message he sent back to get the rest of the aliens to come back probably included threats to rat the entire operation out to the authorities if they didn’t come back for him. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2014, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/55 "2014-12-28T13:19:01Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > E.T. IS Starman, without the sex. That we know of… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173/56 "2014-12-28T21:22:25Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > That we know of… :dubious: > **[Drama Button](http://www.dramabutton.com/)** > > Drama Button... For all of life's unnecessary drama. This is a fun and humorous way to compliment the epic moments in life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-explain-e-t-to-me-please/708173.md?page=2)