# Can someone tell me the joke that goes with the punch line? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 17, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898 "2003-05-17T15:00:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/81 "2013-04-01T19:42:59Z")
“Why do you ask these questions, Two Dogs Fucking?” ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/82 "2013-04-01T20:18:14Z")
“Good, because this Friday it’s your turn in the barrel.” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/83 "2013-04-01T20:43:46Z")
“I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost!” ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/84 "2013-04-01T20:51:33Z")
This is a real question, like the OP. The punchline is: “Don’t worry, it will fall off anyway.” I think it’s a funny sentence even as a standalone, and always think to say it when someone is kvetching “My [_x]_ is killing me.” I think the joke is something along that line, but I can’t remember it, and it’s bugged me a long time. Any help? ---
**Author:** ![AlohaBear32](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47774/32.png) [@AlohaBear32](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlohaBear32)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/85 "2013-04-01T21:01:28Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > A red brick! Ya know I was just coming in here to mention this one… My Jr High coach was telling us that joke…something about a boy saying to his tearcher “Red Brick”…the teacher, in shock and awe, sends him to the Prinicpal, the boy repeats the word (Red Brick) and gets suspended from school…the parents ask why, he repeats “Red Brick” which sends them into shock and awe and he is further punished and so forth… Then Abruptly, coach stopped telling the joke and made us go practcie… For over 20 years the joke and punchlines been hanging over my head… (And no haven’t bothered to google it yet…) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/86 "2013-04-01T21:39:10Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > This is a real question, like the OP. > > The punchline is: “Don’t worry, it will fall off anyway.” > > I think it’s a funny sentence even as a standalone, and always think to say it when someone is kvetching “My [_x]_ is killing me.” > > I think the joke is something along that line, but I can’t remember it, and it’s bugged me a long time. Any help? There are probably several variations on this joke, but I first heard it this way. It’s all about foreign STDs (you sort of have to give the Vietnamese doctor a stereotypical accent in this joke). [Spoiler] A man went to the doctor, because his penis was purple, throbbing and oozing. The doctor asked, “Did you serve in Vietnam?” The man said, “Yes, I was in the Marines, and I spent a few years in Nam.” The doctor asked, “Did you engage in any sexual relations there?” “Well,” the man said, “I may have gone to a cathouse or two.” “I thought so,” the doctor said sadly. “This is a rare case of Mekong Delta VD. There’s no known cure. The only thing we can do is amputate. I’ll set up surgery immediately.” The man refused, and sought out opinions from several other doctors, all of whom recommended immediate amputation. Finally, in desperation, the man arrranged a flight to Hanoi, where he hoped he could find a doctor who could save his weiner. After he arrived in Hanoi, he asked for the name of a top Vietnamese doctor, and made an appointment. He went to the doctor, showed off his problem, and said, “All the doctors in America say I have to have it amputated. What do you think?” The Vietnamese doctor became very angry and yelled, “American doctors no good! American doctors greedy! American doctors always want surgery, surgery, more surgery. They make much money that way. They not understand that natural healing methods are always best.” The American gave a sigh of relief, and said, “So, you DON’T have to chop it off?” The Vietnamese doctor smiled and said, “Oh, no. no, no. Leave alone. It fall off by itself.” [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/87 "2013-04-01T22:02:09Z")
🙂 Much obliged. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/88 "2013-04-01T22:53:08Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > A > Well since you insist, the greatest Carnak answer of them all: > Sis-boom-baa I disagree. The greatest Carnak answer was: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/89 "2013-04-02T07:20:18Z")
I can’t tell you, you’re not a monk. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/90 "2013-04-02T11:38:47Z")
“Ha. See. Toldya you fucked a penguin!” ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/91 "2013-04-02T13:30:27Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I disagree. The greatest Carnak answer was: > > Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. I don’t know that one. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/92 "2013-04-02T13:44:07Z")
> [@AlohaBear32](#): > > Ya know I was just coming in here to mention this one… > > My Jr High coach was telling us that joke…something about a boy saying to his tearcher “Red Brick”…the teacher, in shock and awe, sends him to the Prinicpal, the boy repeats the word (Red Brick) and gets suspended from school…the parents ask why, he repeats “Red Brick” which sends them into shock and awe and he is further punished and so forth… > > Then Abruptly, coach stopped telling the joke and made us go practcie… > > For over 20 years the joke and punchlines been hanging over my head… > > (And no haven’t bothered to google it yet…) That’s very similar to a joke I tell - it always makes everyone a bit annoyed. But in my version, the phrase is “the dog walks at midnight.” I heard it as a teenager. So much fun to tell - less fun to hear- it has no punchline at all. The boy gets endlessly punished and then he gets hit by a bus. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/93 "2013-04-02T20:35:19Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I disagree. The greatest Carnak answer was: > > Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. > [@Rick](#): > > I don’t know that one. What should you do if you find that you’ve swallowed a live hand grenade? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/94 "2013-04-02T20:48:18Z")
No soap, radio. ---
**Author:** ![CurtC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce73a5/32.png) [@CurtC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CurtC)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/95 "2013-04-02T21:15:14Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > No soap, radio. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Detroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/45deac/32.png) [@Detroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Detroit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/96 "2013-04-03T15:45:06Z")
Little… Little Rock Arkansas, Grand Champion said the beautiful nurse. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/97 "2013-04-04T06:10:04Z")
And I haven’t been sick a day, since. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/98 "2013-04-04T06:12:27Z")
Oh well, you didn’t you tell me he was Catholic. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/99 "2013-04-04T06:13:48Z")
We jus’ switched de heads. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2013, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898/100 "2013-04-04T07:53:21Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Coffee break’s over; time to stand on my head. Guy dies and goes straight to Hell. He’s greeted by Satan and told he can choose the manner in which he’s tormented for eternity. Satan shows him the first room, where people are chained to racks and are being whipped and flogged and screaming their heads off. The next room has people laying on burning coals also screaming in agony. The third room is full of people walking around smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee waist deep in shit. Guy looks at Satan and says “I’ll take room 3.” Guy walks over get’s a cup of coffee and bums a cigarette and thinks this won’t be so bad. A minute later, Satan walks back in and announces, “Coffee break’s over, time to stand on your heads!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-someone-tell-me-the-joke-that-goes-with-the-punch-line/175898.md?page=6)