# Can we finally get some clarification on what's "misogynistic" and off-limits now? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 1, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244 "2013-05-01T19:55:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/121 "2013-05-02T16:24:36Z")
Maybe we should all report colander’s offensive, stereotyping, and male shaming post and see what happens. I’m honestly curious and not at all being sarcastic. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/122 "2013-05-02T16:26:47Z")
> [@randomface](#): > > Nice, **colander**. > > The people who disagree with the direction the moderation is going in are all just old neckbeard Comic Book Guys. > > That’s hilarious in a thread about misogyny that you are bringing out some stereotypes to shame men. The whole reason that “neckbeard” is an insult is because it implies that a man is poor, that he doesn’t have the social approval of women, and that he is unattractive physically. > > For your next act, you should call everyone that disagrees with you mad, bitter, a virgin, sexually frustrated, or double down and directly call the people you disagree with fat and ugly losers. If you don’t like making casual, offhand remarks about what gets your chub a-swellin’ around strangers who don’t want to visualize said chub, then I ain’t talking about you. I’d say that leaves most men in the clear. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/123 "2013-05-02T16:29:15Z")
/hangs head in shame ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/124 "2013-05-02T16:32:49Z")
> [@colander](#): > > He seems to want to think that “admiring women” should get a pass because “Hey, they’re compliments!” I’m really, really trying hard to imagine what y’all must think of as a healthy relationship. “Good morning sweetheart, have I ever told you how gorgeous you look right when you wake up?” “Eat shit and die, sexist!” Valentine’s Day must be a hoot for y’all. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/125 "2013-05-02T16:37:00Z")
> [@colander](#): > > If you don’t like make casual, offhand remarks about what gets your chub a swellin’ around strangers who don’t want to visualize said chub, then I ain’t talking about you. I’d say that leaves most men in the clear. If you don’t walk around with no pants handing out rubbers on a college campus with your pubes shaved into a neat little cross, no one was talking about you in that other thread. Yet you still somehow take offense on behalf of the woman who did. BUT it’s okay for you to use language to shame men that are actually members of this board? This is where I don’t understand what’s acceptable and what’s not. So apparently targeting men is ok, even if they’re posters here, with actual shaming language, but making stupid dirty jokes if a woman is involved-- ANY WOMAN ON THE PLANET-- is not. Is that what you’re saying, colander? I’m really, really curious to hear what the mods actually finally decide on this. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/126 "2013-05-02T16:37:27Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > The rule is simple and has been explained clearly to my satisfaction. Don’t make sexual comments about women, especially as jokes at their expense. Don’t go into a thread about a woman complaining about swollen breasts asking for pictures. Don’t go into a thread about a woman being upset at her sorority and make a joke about sorority girls being sluts. Don’t go into a thread about women walking around bottomless with crosses shaved into their pubic hair handing out condoms and make fun of her brave, wonderful methods of encouraging love safely. > > Really don’t even think about women if you can help it but if you do, think of them as living breathing people who don’t want to be sexually maligned and that a joke about one woman applies to all women just like a joke about a guy guy applies to all gay guys. Which is why as a gay man I always take offense to people making fun of another gay man even if is nothing like me and deserves it! I know you are being sarcastic but it is coming to this, an extreme over reaction. As a woman I think the moderation is getting out of hand. It’s like board sanctioned white knighting and frankly offensive. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/127 "2013-05-02T16:41:41Z")
The Straight Dope Message Board : Pandering to The Easily Offended Since 2009 (It’s easier than we thought!) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/128 "2013-05-02T16:42:32Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I know you are being sarcastic but it is coming to this, an extreme over reaction. That’s part of why I asked if it was a whoosh… this really is a variation of Poe’s Law where the most uptight, sex-negative, White Knighting arguments are indistinguishable from parody. ---
**Author:** ![Condescending\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a183cd/32.png) [@Condescending\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Condescending_Robot)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/129 "2013-05-02T16:43:39Z")
I don’t personally care about the jokes that much but I too find the interjection of gross old man sexuality everywhere to be offputting and under-moderated. As I said above, there are also women who do this. Every single “oh, I know what _I_ would do with that whip :D” post is not only inane in and of itself, it’s designed for the poster to metaphorically or literally jerk off while thinking about how everyone reading that post is getting so ruffled by it. We have a word for involving other people in your sexuality without their consent. Do you know what that word is? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/130 "2013-05-02T16:44:47Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > I don’t personally care about the jokes that much but I too find the interjection of gross old man sexuality everywhere to be offputting and under-moderated. As I said above, there are also women who do this. > > Every single “oh, I know what _I_ would do with that whip :D” post is not only inane in and of itself, it’s designed for the poster to metaphorically or literally jerk off while thinking about how everyone reading that post is getting so ruffled by it. We have a word for involving other people in your sexuality without their consent. Do you know what that word is? Hitler? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/131 "2013-05-02T16:48:30Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > gross old man sexuality […] there are also women who do this. Should you now be Moderated for the sexist nonsense here where even behavior that you say women engage in is “gross old man sexuality”? Should we all declare how very hurt and offended we are, in order to gain enough political currency to get your opinion silenced? Or should we be expected to have the emotional self control of adults? > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > Every single “oh, I know what _I_ would do with that whip :D” post is not only inane in and of itself, it’s designed for the poster to metaphorically or literally jerk off while thinking about how everyone reading that post is getting so ruffled by it. Have you always been able to read minds over the internet, or is this a new thing? Perhaps some people post things for whatever reason seems good to them, and they don’t give a second though to how very “ruffled” some people will get by it. Perhaps, just perhaps, most normal people don’t waste time thinking about how someone can take offense if they try really hard, and certainly aren’t getting sexual satisfaction from it. It’s rather odd that that’s what you assume, to be honest. Rather odd… > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > We have a word for involving other people in your sexuality without their consent. Do you know what that word is? Good gods, you’re right! We’re one step away from Handshake Rape!!! ---
**Author:** ![Condescending\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a183cd/32.png) [@Condescending\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Condescending_Robot)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/132 "2013-05-02T16:51:00Z")
I see the Men’s Rights Activists have arrived. How many bitcoins did you pay for your fedora? ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/133 "2013-05-02T16:54:44Z")
> [@bldysabba](#): > > Excellent post again, completely bullshit moderation, and I’m bloody offended at how a small, vocal minority have managed to get TPTB to enforce their position. What’s worse is that the mods refused to participate in or resolve the earlier threads on these issues. > > Slightly unrelated observation: This pandering to vocal minorities is pretty representative of how much public policy gets made. On the other hand, another probably equally “small, vocal minority have managed to get TPTB to enforce their position” prior to this recent change of events. Now they are upset that their apple cart has been disrupted. I suppose it just depends on which “vocal minority” you’d rather “pander” to, right? > [@randomface](#): > > Nice, **colander**. > > The people who disagree with the direction the moderation is going in are all just old neckbeard Comic Book Guys. > > That’s hilarious in a thread about misogyny that you are bringing out some stereotypes to shame men. The whole reason that “neckbeard” is an insult is because it implies that a man is poor, that he doesn’t have the social approval of women, and that he is unattractive physically. > > For your next act, you should call everyone that disagrees with you mad, bitter, a virgin, sexually frustrated, or double down and directly call the people you disagree with fat and ugly losers. Ah, much like the descriptions in this thread of women’s delicate sensibilities, the fact that they’re shrinking violets and how they’re uptight? So much similarities, so little time to actually comment on both I see. Regardless of the above, I do feel for the moderators trying to sort out this mess. The constant him of inappropriate, for lack of a better word, discussion is unfortunate. However, I can’t foresee a simple way to intervene that doesn’t cause an atmosphere of heavy handedness. That said, since missteps are inevitable, it would seem more prudent to work with the moderators to iron out something conciliatory to both parties rather than belittle and minimize the so-called opposition. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/134 "2013-05-02T16:56:38Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > I don’t personally care about the jokes that much but I too find the interjection of gross old man sexuality everywhere to be offputting and under-moderated. As I said above, there are also women who do this. > > Every single “oh, I know what _I_ would do with that whip :D” post is not only inane in and of itself, it’s designed for the poster to metaphorically or literally jerk off while thinking about how everyone reading that post is getting so ruffled by it. We have a word for involving other people in your sexuality without their consent. Do you know what that word is? You seriously think women are being mind raped by off color jokes? Geez, when did my gender become so fragile and defenseless?:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/135 "2013-05-02T16:56:41Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > I see the Men’s Rights Activists have arrived. How many bitcoins did you pay for your fedora? Dude, you just compared making jokes on the internet with _rape_. You’ve gone a bridge too far, now, to pretend that those folks who disagree with you are Men’s Rights Activists instead of average folks who simply don’t feel that offense is the currency of the realm. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/136 "2013-05-02T16:57:12Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > Do you know what that word is? While we’re speaking of words that people here apparently don’t know the definition of… ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/137 "2013-05-02T17:02:27Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > I’m really, really trying hard to imagine what y’all must think of as a healthy relationship. > > “Good morning sweetheart, have I ever told you how gorgeous you look right when you wake up?” > “Eat shit and die, sexist!” > > Valentine’s Day must be a hoot for y’all. It can be okay to say all kinds of things to someone who you have a pre-existing relationship with. That does not mean that it is totally cool to loudly say those things about someone who you have _no_ relationship with in front of a large crowd of people, the vast majority of whom you _also_ have no relationship with. This is the difference between masturbating in your bed at home and masturbating on stage at the Apollo. I hope this helps. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/138 "2013-05-02T17:03:08Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > Ah, much like the descriptions in this thread of women’s delicate sensibilities, the fact that they’re shrinking violets and how they’re uptight? Actually, the claims about women’s “delicate sensibilities” and how they’re “shrinking violets” are the White Knights’ claims as to why women need to be ‘protected’. That some but not all _people_, some of whom happen to be women, have uptight arguments is a separate issue. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/139 "2013-05-02T17:07:16Z")
> [@colander](#): > > This is the difference between masturbating in your bed at home and masturbating on stage at the Apollo. I hope this helps. Now that would be entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/140 "2013-05-02T17:09:27Z")
I’ve followed all these threads and I don’t recall anyone saying women need to be “protected.” Since I might have missed it, could you point me to some examples? Because I’m assuming it must’ve happened frequently for the many allusions I’ve read to the above referenced. ETA: That was to \*\*Finn \*\*. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244.md?page=8)