# Can we finally get some clarification on what's "misogynistic" and off-limits now? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 1, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244 "2013-05-01T19:55:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/141 "2013-05-02T17:10:09Z")
> [@colander](#): > > I hope this helps. Yes, it shows that you’re willing to post smarmy text even when you haven’t bothered to read and understand the context of what you’re responding to. Yet again, the claim was made, as an absolute, that it is simply _always_ as offensive to compliment a woman as to insult her. I pointed out that, to start with, that’s an absolute absurdity as such compliments are actually _expected_ in some situations. Moreover, I pointed out that de gustibus, and some women enjoy raunchy propositions from strangers, some enjoy propositions with exactly the same semantic content that’s delivered with a bit of subtlety and playfulness, and of course some go to sites like [ChristianMingle.com](http://ChristianMingle.com). ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/142 "2013-05-02T17:21:01Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Yet again, the claim was made, as an absolute, that it is simply _always_ as offensive to compliment a woman as to insult her. No it wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Condescending\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a183cd/32.png) [@Condescending\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Condescending_Robot)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/143 "2013-05-02T17:21:16Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Dude, you just compared making jokes on the internet with _rape_. > You’ve gone a bridge too far, now, to pretend that those folks who disagree with you are Men’s Rights Activists instead of average folks who simply don’t feel that offense is the currency of the realm. I think it is comparative in the sense that I did not agree to participate in your sexual endeavors. It’s not the SAME, obviously, but it’s a lesser degree of the same thing, just like how spitting on my shoes and wacking me in the back of the head with a brick are both degrees of assault. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/144 "2013-05-02T17:26:29Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > If you don’t walk around with no pants handing out rubbers on a college campus with your pubes shaved into a neat little cross, no one was talking about you in that other thread. Yet you still somehow take offense on behalf of the woman who did. I take offense at contentless, unfunny one-liners that do nothing except make me think about how much you like spanking. I don’t care whether the person you’re talking about spanking is a pantless she-pope or William Howard Taft stuck in a wooden bathtub. It’s lame and we lose nothing if it stops. > [@](#): > > BUT it’s okay for you to use language to shame men that are actually members of this board? Shame, schmame. I don’t think there’s anything bad about informing the people who habitually exhibit this behavior that it actively makes the boards a less interesting, more unfunny place to be. If that makes them ashamed, then maybe… get this!.. they can _stop doing that_ and everything will be peaches and hot-dogs. It is really not the same as asking black people to stop being black. It is more like telling homeless people to please stop shitting on the front steps. > [@](#): > > This is where I don’t understand what’s acceptable and what’s not. Well, lucky you, 'cause here I am. I’m gonna explain it to you and I’m gonna make it easy. Here’s a quick flowchart you can use to determine whether or not a post of your is something you should go ahead and submit. 1. Does this post contain nothing except a reference, vague or otherwise, to your own sexual arousal? If yes, go to 2. If no, you’re fine. 2. No joke? Are you really, sincerely informing a group of strangers on a general interest message board what actually makes your meatspace nips stiff? If yes, go to 3. If no, you’re fine. 3. Are you posting this in a thread whose explicit purpose is for posters to discuss what arouses them sexually? If yes, you’re fine. If no, _ **DON’T POST THAT SHIT.** _ Always glad to be of service. I’m also available for consulting, should the need arise. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/145 "2013-05-02T17:27:27Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > No it wasn’t. Any particular reason you have decided to diverge from the truth, lefty? Or just, ah well, what the heck, why not assume that I can’t possible use the “quote” button to show that you’re talking bullshit? Well, lefty? I can use the quote button. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Second, you seem to feel there are some sexual comments that are not offensive because they’re “complementary”. Saying a woman is good looking and you’d like to fuck her is just as offensive as saying a woman is too ugly to fuck. So, yet again, the claim was made, as an absolute, that it is simply always as offensive to compliment a woman as to insult her. Why on Earth you’d dispute something I just have to quote to show your argument is divorced from reality is beyond me, but whatever floats your boat. > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > I think it is comparative in the sense that I did not agree to participate in your sexual endeavors. It’s not the SAME, obviously, but it’s a lesser degree of the same thing You keep comparing discussions on a message board to raping someone. I’m sure that’s a winning strategy that shows how reasonable your position is. > [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > I’ve followed all these threads and I don’t recall anyone saying women need to be “protected.” I think you’re probably misremembering having seen any such thread, and you apparently haven’t read this one. But okay… Look at all the posts in this thread that talk about how women were offended, or uncomfortable, or had their feelings hurt, or what have you. Those posts that said, as a result, we had to take action in order to safeguard those women. Those’re rather clearly claims that we need to protect women from being exposed to things they don’t like. Oh, I know, it’s sexist and belittling to strong, vibrant, confident women who are able to deal with (gasp!) internet message boards without having uncontrollable emotional reactions and requiring the administration to remove such objectionable content from their view. But, then again, White Knighting is generally sexist bullshit. If you don’t like the paternalistic protectionism from our White Knights, then don’t support it. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/146 "2013-05-02T17:30:14Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Any particular reason you have decided to diverge from the truth, lefty? Or just, ah well, what the heck, why not assume that I can’t possible use the “quote” button to show that you’re talking bullshit? Well, lefty? I can use the quote button. > > So, yet again, the claim was made, as an absolute, that it is simply always as offensive to compliment a woman as to insult her. Why on Earth you’d dispute something I just have to quote to show your argument is divorced from reality is beyond me, but whatever floats your boat. I notice the distinct lack of the word “always” from that quote. I also notice that, in order to pretend it’s an absolute, you have to quote it out of the context of the rest of the conversation. People don’t write like they’re writing computer code; they assume that readers passed third grade reading classes and can read words in context. There was nothing absolutist about the claim, and if you’re really such a struggling reader that you thought there was a possibility of the claim’s being absolutist, the correct thing to do would be to ask the writer for clarification, using smaller words. When you misinterpret things so profoundly, there’s no charitable characterization of your actions. ---
**Author:** ![Condescending\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a183cd/32.png) [@Condescending\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Condescending_Robot)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/147 "2013-05-02T17:31:49Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > You keep comparing discussions on a message board to raping someone. > I’m sure that’s a winning strategy that shows how reasonable your position is. And you keep using barely-coded MRA rhetoric, which means you probably don’t have that much of a problem with rape to begin with (or don’t believe it happens). How reasonable is that? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/148 "2013-05-02T17:33:45Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > I think it is comparative in the sense that I did not agree to participate in your sexual endeavors. It’s not the SAME, obviously, but it’s a lesser degree of the same thing, just like how spitting on my shoes and wacking me in the back of the head with a brick are both degrees of assault. I don’t know how accusing members of this board of some degree of sexual assault is relevant to this discussion, but it wasn’t my intent when I opened this thread. Congrats, you’ve taken this discussion to the worst possible place. You’ve played the rape card. Godwin is working on a new rule as we speak, I’m sure. > [@](#): > > Well, lucky you, 'cause here I am. I’m gonna explain it to you and I’m gonna make it easy. Here’s a quick flowchart you can use to determine whether or not a post of your is something you should go ahead and submit. > > 1. Does this post contain nothing except a reference, vague or otherwise, to your own sexual arousal? If yes, go to 2. If no, you’re fine. > > 2. No joke? Are you really, sincerely informing a group of strangers on a general interest message board what actually makes your meatspace nips stiff? If yes, go to 3. If no, you’re fine. > > 3. Are you posting this in a thread whose explicit purpose is for posters to discuss what arouses them sexually? If yes, you’re fine. If no, > > DON’T POST THAT SHIT. > > Always glad to be of service. I’m also available for consulting, should the need arise. Congrats, again, on your promotion to Junior Mod. I’m glad we have someone with your level-headedness and willingness to accuse other members of sexual assault making the rules around here. Oy vey. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/149 "2013-05-02T17:35:15Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > And you keep using barely-coded MRA rhetoric, which means you probably don’t have that much of a problem with rape to begin with (or don’t believe it happens). Woooow. So, rape is illegal, right? Yet no one’s been arrested over these message board posts… ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/150 "2013-05-02T17:37:23Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Yet again, the claim was made, as an absolute, that it is simply _always_ as offensive to compliment a woman as to insult her. I’m pretty sure you just dreamed that. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/151 "2013-05-02T17:42:00Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Congrats, again, on your promotion to Junior Mod. I’m glad we have someone with your level-headedness and willingness to accuse other members of sexual assault making the rules around here. > > Oy vey. You’re the one who asked for help. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/152 "2013-05-02T17:43:32Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > And you keep using barely-coded MRA rhetoric You have an active imagination, it seems. > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > which means you probably don’t have that much of a problem with rape to begin with (or don’t believe it happens). You have a very, very active imagination, it seems. Please, go on even more about how jokes on a message board should be compared to rape, and how those who disagree with you are probably just fine with folks raping women. Please continue to show us how reasonable your position is. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I notice the distinct lack of the word “always” from that quote. You’re not fooling anybody. You notice full well the fact that Nemo said that there are not any occasions where it’s okay. That means it is always not okay. Your bullshit little game where “there is never some” =/= “there always isn’t any” is pitiful. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > in order to pretend it’s an absolute, you have to quote it out of the context of the rest of the conversation. In keeping with the rules of this forum, I will note that what you have said isn’t true, that anybody can check the post in question to see that what you’re saying isn’t true, and that what’s more I quoted the entirety of Nemo’s second bullet point so your claim that it’s “out of context” requires willful error. [I invite people to look at the post themselves](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16252338&postcount=81), and ponder how on Earth you’re able to make the error you’re making. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > and if you’re really such a struggling reader That’s okay lefty, I’ve got some pretty good diagnostic training, and I’m pretty certain that the fellow who doesn’t comprehend that " there are no sexual comments that aren’t offensive" is the same as “all sexual comments are offensive” is the one who’s a “struggling reader”. Or, shall I say, when you misinterpret things so profoundly, there’s no charitable characterization of your actions. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244/153 "2013-05-02T17:44:24Z")
I realize there are a lot of people with questions about this, but none of them are going to be answered by people screaming at each other and calling names. I’m closing this thread. Perhaps the mods will start a new one to explain some of these issues in a calm and reasonable manner. On review: > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > the Internet parody-feminist line of “since my life is a mess no one is allowed to enjoy anything, therefore humor itself is misogynist” shouldn’t become the norm either. > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > Every single “oh, I know what _I_ would do with that whip :D” post is not only inane in and of itself, it’s designed for the poster to metaphorically or literally jerk off while thinking about how everyone reading that post is getting so ruffled by it. We have a word for involving other people in your sexuality without their consent. Do you know what that word is? > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > I see the Men’s Rights Activists have arrived. How many bitcoins did you pay for your fedora? > [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > And you keep using barely-coded MRA rhetoric, which means you probably don’t have that much of a problem with rape to begin with (or don’t believe it happens). How reasonable is that? Just about all of this is way out of line: the attacks on other posters or groups of posters, the comparison of some posters to rapists and the accusation that they don’t object to rape based on their views on this issue. I’m issuing a warning for being a jerk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-finally-get-some-clarification-on-whats-misogynistic-and-off-limits-now/657244.md?page=7)