# Can we not steal children? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 30, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506 "2012-05-30T02:41:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/182 "2012-06-04T16:34:36Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > Covered in bacon? I don’t know. Do they have bacon in Africa? ---
**Author:** ![Hbns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hbns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hbns)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/183 "2012-06-04T18:08:26Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > I don’t know. Do they have bacon in Africa? They should. They have Boer’s. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/184 "2012-06-04T18:27:37Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Or there is what I actually said, which is that dating is awkward in the first few months after returning from a long time abroad because you have to find a way to talk about all the stuff that happened to you in the last few years (which are all in place X) without being obnoxious by talking about place X all the time. It’s not a matter of being “better”- I’m sure you’d have the same problem after returning from four years in prison. Perhaps you could try listening to your date, rather than going on and on about yourself, and how your experiences are so much more important than his. You _don’t_ need to talk about everything that’s happened at the earliest opportunity, because most of it is uninteresting. Actually, this advice could apply to your participation on this board as well, but I won’t hold my breath. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/185 "2012-06-04T18:38:26Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/186 "2012-06-04T18:56:10Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > Perhaps you could try listening to your date, rather than going on and on about yourself, and how your experiences are so much more important than his. You _don’t_ need to talk about everything that’s happened at the earliest opportunity, because most of it is uninteresting. > > Actually, this advice could apply to your participation on this board as well, but I won’t hold my breath. I like your theory: Date (real situation): My birthday is blah blah blah. Last year I had this big party at a nighclub! What about you? What’d you do for your last birthday? Me: Uh, I walked around outside with a friend? Date: What the hell does that mean? What did you really do? Me: Nothing too big, just hanging out in the city. Date: Dude, I’m asking you what you did for your last birthday. Why are you being so cagey? Me: Okay what happened is that. I was with a friend trying to lay low while a crowd of a few thousand young people flooded the central square of downtown Chongqing wearing plastic devil horns and beating each other with huge inflatable baseball bats. Date: WTF? What does that even mean? Me: That’s apparently how they celebrate Christmas in China. Date: Wait, what? What were you doing in China? Me: I lived there a while. Date: How long? Me: Two years with Peace Corps. I just got back a couple months ago. Date: Uh wow, that must be kind of intense. Uh, I didn’t know they had Peace Corps in China! Don’t they usually do that in some mud hut in Africa or something? Me: Nice weather out? Do you like Italian food? Uhhh… ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/187 "2012-06-04T19:01:25Z")
> [@florez](#): > > Why not just kidnap the childbearing age women along with the children, and set up a breeding farm. Would that not be the best way to kill two birds with one stone? God no not that. We have too many presidential candidates running around as it is. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/188 "2012-06-04T19:05:30Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I like your theory: > > Date (real situation): My birthday is blah blah blah. Last year I had this big party at a nighclub! What about you? What’d you do for your last birthday? > Me: Uh, I walked around outside with a friend? > Date: What the hell does that mean? What did you really do? > Me: Nothing too big, just hanging out in the city. > Date: Dude, I’m asking you what you did for your last birthday. Why are you being so cagey? > Me: Okay what happened is that. I was with a friend trying to lay low while a crowd of a few thousand young people flooded the central square of downtown Chongqing wearing plastic devil horns and beating each other with huge inflatable baseball bats. > Date: WTF? What does that even mean? > Me: That’s apparently how they celebrate Christmas in China. > Date: Wait, what? What were you doing in China? > Me: I lived there a while. > Date: How long? > Me: Two years with Peace Corps. I just got back a couple months ago. > Date: Uh wow, that must be kind of intense. Uh, I didn’t know they had Peace Corps in China! Don’t they usually do that in some mud hut in Africa or something? > Me: Nice weather out? Do you like Italian food? Uhhh… Are you retarded? How about… Date: I went to a big ass party for my birthday last year. What about your last birthday? You: I was in China celebrating new year with a friend. We mainly just walked around in costumes beating drums. Date: Cool. What were you doing in China? You: I was living and working there for a while. I guaran-fucking-tee you he’ll either ask how long and doing what, or just drop it and move on to something else without all of that awkwardness. Why \*would \*you give that dodgy ass answer? ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/189 "2012-06-04T19:11:05Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Are you retarded? How about… > > Date: I went to a big ass party for my birthday last year. What about your last birthday? > You: I was in China celebrating new year with a friend. We mainly just walked around in costumes beating drums. > Date: Cool. What were you doing in China? > You: I was living and working there for a while. > > I guaran-fucking-tee you he’ll either ask how long and doing what, or just drop it and move on to something else without all of that awkwardness. Why \*would \*you give that dodgy ass answer? This. If he’s interested, he’ll ask. If not, don’t keep bringing it up. If him not being interested in every minor detail is a deal-breaker for you, he’s probably had a lucky escape. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/190 "2012-06-04T19:14:30Z")
Minus the drum part. I inserted that myself somehow. Switch in instead “hitting each other with inflatable bats.” And exchange “new year” with “Christmas.” Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/191 "2012-06-04T19:25:13Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I guaran-fucking-tee you he’ll either ask how long and doing what, or just drop it and move on to something else without all of that awkwardness. Why \*would \*you give that dodgy ass answer? Word. Good grief. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/192 "2012-06-04T19:25:44Z")
“I walked around outside with a friend” Hahaaaaa!!! That’s awesome! ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/193 "2012-06-04T19:32:50Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I guaran-fucking-tee you he’ll either ask how long and doing what, or just drop it and move on to something else without all of that awkwardness. Why \*would \*you give that dodgy ass answer? No, don’t you understand, us guys haven’t experienced the things Sven has, it just confuses us to hear about other countries!!! Jesus fucking christ, no wonder the guy was awkward, that exchange is just dripping with condescension. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/194 "2012-06-04T19:33:20Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I like your theory: > > Date (real situation): My birthday is blah blah blah. Last year I had this big party at a nighclub! What about you? What’d you do for your last birthday? > Me: Uh, I walked around outside with a friend? I am confused about if this is supposed to be a for-real conversation that you had. Did you really give this answer in response to that question? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/195 "2012-06-04T19:33:45Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I like your theory: > > Date (real situation): My birthday is blah blah blah. Last year I had this big party at a nighclub! What about you? What’d you do for your last birthday? > Me: Uh, I walked around outside with a friend? > Date: What the hell does that mean? What did you really do? > Me: Nothing too big, just hanging out in the city. > Date: Dude, I’m asking you what you did for your last birthday. Why are you being so cagey? > Me: Okay what happened is that. I was with a friend trying to lay low while a crowd of a few thousand young people flooded the central square of downtown Chongqing wearing plastic devil horns and beating each other with huge inflatable baseball bats. > Date: WTF? What does that even mean? > Me: That’s apparently how they celebrate Christmas in China. > Date: Wait, what? What were you doing in China? > Me: I lived there a while. > Date: How long? > Me: Two years with Peace Corps. I just got back a couple months ago. > Date: Uh wow, that must be kind of intense. Uh, I didn’t know they had Peace Corps in China! Don’t they usually do that in some mud hut in Africa or something? > Me: Nice weather out? Do you like Italian food? Uhhh… That’s absolutely absurd. How about actually answering the question succinctly and pleasantly, let your date ask follow up questions. It’s a conversation. It’s like you’re expecting someone to be so amazed or confused by your experience that you wouldn’t dare answer the questions straight. Give people some credit, FFS. Date (real situation): My birthday is blah blah blah. Last year I had this big party at a nighclub! What about you? What’d you do for your last birthday? You: It was pretty cool- I got to spend it with a friend during Chinese New Year. Date: Cool! What were you doing there? You: Peace Corps for X years. etc. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/196 "2012-06-04T19:37:22Z")
I have a no fail plan for getting out of awkward questions like that. Date: So what did you do for your birthday last year? Me: These are not the droids you’re looking for. Date: Oh forget it. You’re not the droid I’m looking for. Me: \ You should try that next time. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/197 "2012-06-04T19:55:32Z")
I’m getting the sense that you get off on making things difficult for your dates… ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/198 "2012-06-04T19:59:58Z")
Thanks guys. That would have been extremely helpful advice back in 2010, when I asked this board for suggestions on the topic. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/199 "2012-06-04T20:03:05Z")
I’m confused, if I asked someone what they did for their birthday and they said “Nothing too big, just hanging out in the city.” That would be a perfectly acceptable answer. I wouldn’t keep drilling them for info like they were hiding something. Why do I get the feeling there’s more to this story? If the person went on to say “Dude, I’m asking you what you did for your last birthday. Why are you being so cagey?” I can only assume that you either said it in such a way that you were clearly trying to get them to ask you more questions or you were obviously lying in a “No, really, I’m super modest, I don’t like talking about myself…but really I do” way. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/200 "2012-06-04T20:06:02Z")
I may have mentioned this before but when I was nearly done with my undergraduate degree, I seriously considered the Peace Corps. The 25th anniversary of the PC had recently happened and they had just made a huge effort to contact as many former volunteers as possible, many of whom agreed to be contacted by prospective volunteers. I talked to a good many of them. The ones whose experience was well behind them had a pretty good perspective about it. It was different for many of the ones who had only been out for less than three years or so. It was more often the men than the women but the whine was a familiar one. “No one could possibly understand my experience. How can I possibly date a civilian after spending the last two years in Micronesia living on tarot root? I know nothing of popular culture and can’t make myself understood.” It was fucking tiresome and one of the reasons, albeit a very minor one, why I didn’t join. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506/201 "2012-06-04T20:07:05Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Thanks guys. That would have been extremely helpful advice back in 2010, when I asked this board for suggestions on the topic. As I recall, that was the exact advice you were given. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-not-steal-children/623506.md?page=11)