# Can We Put This Behind Us Please? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2000, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215 "2000-07-11T13:58:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/41 "2000-07-11T22:42:28Z")
\ There you are m’dear, service with a simile. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/42 "2000-07-12T03:46:38Z")
I’m concerned about how to ask this without sounding like an insensitive troll, but one thing just doesn’t add up. You said that Tigress was wed and had a daughter at 19, and lost her husband and 3 year old daughter in an accident. This is very tragic and being a father of children in the same age group can’t imagine the grief. In an earlier thread (which I think has now been removed) Tigress stated that she is 21 years old. I really don’t mean to cast doubt on the situation, but this would make Tigress 22 at the time of the accident, and I would assume that there would be a normal period of grief before dating again after such a tragic accident. Again, I’m sorry for bringing up such a sensative subject, but I’m just trying to put all the pieces together. And I hope you can understand that recent events have made us all a little more “gun shy” than normal. I hope my picking nits hasn’t offended anyone, and if so I’m truely sorry. My wife has been 29 for several years now, so I’m familiar with some of the inconsistancies in the math when ages are concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/43 "2000-07-12T04:10:54Z")
> [@](#): > > You said that Tigress was wed and had a daughter at 19, and lost her husband and 3 year old daughter in an accident. This is very tragic and being a father of children in the same age group can’t imagine the grief. In an earlier thread (which I think has now been removed) Tigress stated that she is 21 years old. > > I really don’t mean to cast doubt on the situation, but this would make Tigress 22 at the time of the accident, and I would assume that there would be a normal period of grief before dating again after such a tragic accident. I think what bratman meant was that she and her husband got married some time after the baby was born. But I am just guessing. Soooooooo I dont know. But I am pretty sure thats what he meant. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/44 "2000-07-12T04:11:29Z")
I missed all the excitement and really don’t want to get involved in it now. But Balance would that happen to be the Strawberry Mead from the witches calander that you have there? Never got a chance to make my own are you willing to share a bit? ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/45 "2000-07-12T04:13:17Z")
Welcome back, Boobo…brat…eh, whoever you are. 😉 Now, where’s that beer? And Balance! So nice to see you again…_swoons_ ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/46 "2000-07-12T04:23:58Z")
To Boo-Boo and His Tigress: Well, you don’t know me from Eve, but I’m glad you’re back Bratman. I even think your Tigress should come back too. She CAN try to make some new friends again, and I will certainly give her another chance and try to be her friend on this board if she tries not to be _too_ out of control :). Una ---
**Author:** ![pLt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eb9ed0/32.png) [@pLt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pLt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/47 "2000-07-12T04:27:18Z")
I would like to point out I stood up in your support. Nothing to put behind me. ---
**Author:** ![Jett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@Jett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jett)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/48 "2000-07-12T21:15:54Z")
> [@](#): > > I am extremely uncomfortable being a part of a group of people that could possess such a lynch mob mentality as what I saw happen yesterday. The mob was just as easily whipped into sympathy as into rage. It was the feeling of having advantage taken of all of us that caused the quickness to anger, at least on my part. Unfortunately, this thing is pretty common in WebDrama - a friend recently removed a memorial page he’d added to his site ( [http://www.angelfire.com/co/billsgothichome/](http://www.angelfire.com/co/billsgothichome/) ) because it turned out that the 2 “recently dead close friends” of his chat buddy NEVER EXISTED! Somehow, I am comforted by being a part of a group that gives sympathy that readily. It was only by an ugly turn that the SDMB was turned into an attack force. I fault noone except the actual culprit. Given recent actual losses to the board, I am not surprised that there were many hearts on sleeves in this incident. No one likes to be played. Brat, welcome back! Although some of my questions about this mess remain unanswered, I will put my suspicions in the bottom drawer for a while. I do hope you have some idea who did this to you (and us) and that you will not be sabotaged again. Rock on, Brat. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/49 "2000-07-12T22:16:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*To Boo-Boo and His Tigress: > > Well, you don’t know me from Eve, but I’m glad you’re back Bratman. > > I even think your Tigress should come back too. She CAN try to make some new friends again, and I will certainly give her another chance and try to be her friend on this board if she tries not to be _too_ out of control :). > > Una \*\* I agree with **Anthracite** , with this additional piece of unsolicited advice from a newby: **Tigress** , a common mistake of SO’s is that they assume that, if their SO is part of a group, that group must automatically accept him/her. That’s simply not the case. Take a step back, sloooowly dip your toe into the pool, and let us get to know you as yourself, not as **Brat’s** squeeze. Personally, I think we will get to like you, once we get to know you. And **Brat** , my connection was slow yesterday, so I only caught the beginning of the lynch mob (just when people were starting to sharpen their pitchforks). I’m glad I missed it. And I’m very glad you’re sticking around. Sua ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/50 "2000-07-13T00:05:16Z")
Welcome back mate. Nothing to put behind us IMHO. \*\*Shayna: \*\* I too was a bit disappointed so many jumped to a conclusion so hastily - and posted my views accordingly. However let’s not explore possibilities, or let it get to us and just hope everyone learnt a lesson. Stay hon. Everyone needs people like you around. {{{shayna}}} **And Moe:** it’s K-A-H-L-U-A!!! And look - I have a couple of bottles here for celebration… ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/51 "2000-07-13T01:04:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kricket \* > But Balance would that happen to be the Strawberry Mead from the witches calander that you have there? Never got a chance to make my own are you willing to share a bit? Not strawberry, but vanilla–my own secret recipe. Gentle, yet fraught with power. I brought lots, and I _love_ to share it. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/52 "2000-07-13T01:05:56Z")
\ We _must_ meet like this more often, m’lady. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215/53 "2000-07-13T02:24:32Z")
_blushing_ Why sir! I would love to meet with you more often. Do you think you could hand me a cup of mead, perchance? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-we-put-this-behind-us-please/25215.md?page=2)