# Can you adopt an adult? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 1, 2006, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673 "2006-03-01T21:31:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/21 "2006-03-03T00:52:03Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > So can you adopt someone as your brother or sister? Don’t see how. If you adopt them, then they’re legally your CHILDREN. Unless, of course, I am wrong. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/22 "2006-03-03T01:49:54Z")
> [@Denial](#): > > To my mind it’s a problem created by scam artists. A reasonable adoption law probably didn’t seem to need definition of how old the kid could be - you’d just expect nobody to bother after they reached the age of consent to marry. > These plans for adopting the physically and mentally inform all seem to be ways not just to assign control but dodge taxes and make inheritance grabs. > And of course there’s the dodge mentioned above of lawyers to adopt inmates to get their fees paid though “family” funds tranfers rather than taxible fees. > Clearly the laws need reasonable age limits added. Or, as in the case I cited, an actual parental relationship has existed for years, and it’s emotionally important to at least three people (mom, grown kid and “dad”) that the relationship be formalized, even if they’re forced to wait until majority. There were a lot of happy tears that day - no one has any intent to scam anyone in that case. Proving a “parental relationship” or emotional bond might be tough, but I see no need to limit that to children. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/23 "2006-03-03T02:38:54Z")
I was adopted a few days after birth. I found my biological mother when I turned 26, and she recently adopted me back. We completed the adoption (in Hawaii) in 2003. No blood tests were required. Just lawyer’s fees and what not. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/24 "2006-03-03T04:37:22Z")
**Large Marge** , that is so cool! I can’t imagine how your newly adopted mother must feel! > [@](#): > > **Denial** : To my mind it’s a problem created by scam artists. You are way too quick to judge. I have been childless all of my life and I am sixty-two. My step-daughter, whose natural mother died long ago, and I have become good friends in the twenty years that I have known her. We plan to finalize her adoption sometime this year after her graduation from law school at age forty. It pleases all of us – including the grandchldren – for severall reasons. None of it involves scams. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/25 "2006-03-03T04:54:04Z")
> [@LiveOnAPlane](#): > > Don’t see how. If you adopt them, then they’re legally your CHILDREN. > > Unless, of course, I am wrong. Sure, it seems common sense. Adopt = children. But why should it? I have an adopted sister. Not legally adopted. My parents are dead. She only has one parent left, probably not long for the world. Why shouldn’t I be able to formalize my relationship with my sister? If it’s just a matter of sticking so-and-so in your will, why have the ability to adopt adults? ---
**Author:** ![Hirundo82](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/919ad9/32.png) [@Hirundo82](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hirundo82)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/26 "2006-03-03T05:08:37Z")
> [@Large Marge](#): > > I was adopted a few days after birth. I found my biological mother when I turned 26, and she recently adopted me back. We completed the adoption (in Hawaii) in 2003. > > No blood tests were required. Just lawyer’s fees and what not. Just out of curiosity, were your adoptive parents still alive at the time? And if so, how did that work legally–can you have more than one legal set of parents? And how did they feel about it? ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/27 "2006-03-03T14:17:34Z")
> [@anu-la1979](#): > > Wait, which states? Sorry, you’ll have to check your state probate code. I know Florida has it. They are often called dower or elective share statutes. > [@anu-la1979](#): > > 1. An adopted child takes as a “blood” child would (I apologize for the term, this is just what we were taught in school). The only way to disinherit an adopted child would be to **make it clear that you don’t want them to take from the estate.** If you don’t write a will or your will is found to be void (faults aren’t curable) and your property passes by intestacy then your adopted child takes in the same way that a blood child would. Half-bloods are also treated as full-blooded siblings for the purposes of intestacy. Bolding mine. Unless your state permits an elective share for children (it’s possible but I know Florida does not), you **can** completely disinherit a child, adopted or otherwise. You **can’t** completely disinherit a spouse, though, because of elective share statutes. > [@anu-la1979](#): > > 1. In most states there’s a presumption after divorce that the portions of your will referring to your ex-spouse have been revoked as a matter of law due to the divorce. Generally if you don’t write a new will whatever you were planning on doling out will drop into the residue. In some states the presumption doesn’t arise and you have to affirmatively write the person out. Correct, but here we’re talking elective share. Divorce in some cases simply isn’t an option because a person can’t (or won’t) afford it. If you’ve got only 30k to your name, you split it in half and call it a day. But when you’re talking about splitting tens or hundreds of millions, it’s a different proposition. Plenty of wealthy people can’t afford to divorce simply because they hate their spouse, it’s just not good business. You may not have the liquidity you need, and dissolving your little tycoon empire just because you hate the person down the hall isn’t going to happen. So, he or she is in a bind. If the marriage deteriorates, he or she can divorce, but that means property division, alimony and support. Problem. Or, stay married, in which case the elective share statute will kick in and and the other spouse will take a large percentage of the estate when you die. Problem. In other words, once you marry someone, you’re on the hook for a potential payout; they’ll get something when you divorce them or something when you die. On the other hand, by adopting, you can’t get divorced and theoretically you have the ability to deny them completely when you die. For example: If things go poorly with your adoptee, you can stick her in the boathouse and give her a small allowance and tell her to leave you alone. Or hell, have her thrown off the premises…she’s an adult. She can’t divorce you because she’s not your wife. She can’t hang around waiting for you to die, because you already wrote her out of the will. She can run away, but she’d be doing you a favor. Note that this is legal theory here, I’ve never tried to defend on of these arrangements (professionally or morally) and don’t know if anyone else has either. I’m sure an equitable remedy could be fashioned but I doubt it would amount to as much as might otherwise be claimed. If it helps, think of it as using one section of family law to defeat several others, and then to checkmate part of the probate code. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/28 "2006-03-03T23:05:34Z")
Thanks for the tip but I already happen to be a lawyer so I don’t really need any advice on how to think about the law. I had forgotten about the elective share completely, I currently practice in a CP state and anyway, I no longer do estates and trusts (federal attorney). There is no need to adopt someone to get out of the elective share because you could easily pre-nup your way out of it or create an inter vivos trust and funnel all the assets you wanted to protect into that. If you’re at the point where you want to protect your assets from a spouse then a pre-nup or trust makes way more sense given the established caselaw surrounding both…rather than attempting to fraudulently adopt someone. I just can’t imagine someone who wants to protect THAT much money being so unsophisticated as to try an adoption when they could go down the time honoured pre-nup + trust route. In fact, if you have that much money to protect, an adult adoption is a pretty badly bungled attempt given the time and statutory requirements (I posted my memory of IL’s requirements above) when you could just execute a contract. ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/29 "2006-03-04T06:37:18Z")
> [@anu-la1979](#): > > Thanks for the tip but I already happen to be a lawyer so I don’t really need any advice on how to think about the law. So I surmised and I wasn’t giving you any advice. You asked questions and I answered them in an attempt to explain the concept, in which you had appeared to express interest. As for the rest of your response, I’m not very interested in debating the concept and wouldn’t in GQ in any event. Though if you have on point and contrary legal authority, I’d love to read it. I’ve always been curious as to whether and how well the arrangement would survive attack. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673/30 "2006-03-09T06:38:37Z")
> [@Hirundo82](#): > > Just out of curiosity, were your adoptive parents still alive at the time? And if so, how did that work legally–can you have more than one legal set of parents? And how did they feel about it? Sorry I’m so late in answering this; I’ve just started a new job. Yes, my adoptive mother is still alive, and the recent adoption means I’ll have no legal right to her estate, such as it is. It will also affect any decisions that may be made for her should she become incapacitated. That responsibility would now fall to my adoptive sister. My adoptive mother doesn’t know. After months of deliberation, I finally decided the news would only hurt her, and I didn’t want to do that to her. On the flip side, it was absolutely vital that my bio mom be able to do this, and I, too, wanted to be reconnected not just emotionally and genetically, but _legally_. Emotionally, it was a very complicated process. Legally, not so much. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-adopt-an-adult/346673.md?page=1)