# Can you cook a whole cow? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 28, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596 "2010-04-28T02:54:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/21 "2010-04-28T23:50:17Z")
> [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > Either on a spit or in a pit, can you cook a cow whole and have it mostly edible the way you can cook a whole pig? At a parilla, in Argentina, something like La Estancia Restaurant? ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/22 "2010-04-29T00:51:13Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > At a parilla, in Argentina, something like La Estancia Restaurant? I had no idea what you were talking about, so I googled and found [this](http://cache.virtualtourist.com/2153198-La_Estancia-Buenos_Aires.jpg). Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/23 "2010-04-29T01:27:10Z")
I will point out that it is _very_ important to gut the steer before cooking. This also allows some cooking from the inside. However, most often a half-steer was spitted and roasted. I have seen it done. ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/24 "2010-04-29T03:40:39Z")
> [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > I had no idea what you were talking about, so I googled and found [this](http://cache.virtualtourist.com/2153198-La_Estancia-Buenos_Aires.jpg). Interesting. That’s the way! The Spanish style by opening the carcase flat (be that for beef, pork or chicken) is the key, allowing the cooking to be more even than if the chest cavity is intact. Was taken to a parilla in Argentina at the end of a successful business trip in the early 80’s. This huge covered area around a central fire with four yearling beef carcases on the spit. The menu was exclusively carnivorous. On the LHS you had every cut of meat, on the RHS every form of offal with I believe, the only exceptions being the hoofs and horns. Might have been a potato and parsley, if you asked. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/25 "2010-04-29T07:24:46Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Accidentally _what_? It’s an internet meme originating on 4chan, I think - making fun of what may have been a truism that people in great panic sometimes seem to omit a crucial verb - for example, posting in a computer help forum “Help! - I accidentally 80GB of photos - what should I do?” ---
**Author:** ![Jormungandr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jormungandr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jormungandr)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/26 "2010-04-29T08:49:43Z")
A nearby BBQ place will do a whole pig or cow and deep fry a turkey. It seems it’s slow as it goes for them. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/27 "2010-04-29T09:31:02Z")
Please don’t try a turducken roast like thing with a cow, pig, sheep, goat, turkey, chicken, and Cornish hen setup. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/28 "2010-04-29T09:53:57Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Please don’t try a turducken roast like thing with a cow, pig, sheep, goat, turkey, chicken, and Cornish hen setup. Of course not! It’s Cow, Goat, Dog, Cat, Bird, Spider, Fly. And hold the horse. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/29 "2010-04-29T10:20:02Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Please don’t try a turducken roast like thing with a cow, pig, sheep, goat, turkey, chicken, and Cornish hen setup. No, I believe it’s eggs, fish, chicken, sheep and camel. [cite](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whole_stuffed_camel) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/30 "2010-04-29T12:22:36Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > “Help! - I accidentally 80GB of photos - what should I do?” Good, except the proper response is “The whole cow!” ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/31 "2010-04-29T13:21:31Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > Of course not! > > It’s Cow, Goat, Dog, Cat, Bird, Spider, Fly. > > And hold the horse. 😃 I have gotten much more out of the this thread that I thought I would. Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/32 "2010-04-29T14:10:00Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > Of course not! > > It’s Cow, Goat, Dog, Cat, Bird, Spider, Fly. > > And hold the horse. [Dinner Music](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM2yXNeq1PY) ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/33 "2010-04-29T15:58:12Z")
> [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](#): > > [Dinner Music](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM2yXNeq1PY) I like that version! Cheers! ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/34 "2010-04-29T16:50:07Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > I thought you’d just feed it cheese dipped in ranch dressing until it died and then flash-fry that sucker. 🙂 Don’t forget the BBQ injection. ---
**Author:** ![Notassmartasithought](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c0e974/32.png) [@Notassmartasithought](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Notassmartasithought)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2010, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/35 "2010-05-01T05:35:32Z")
Low and slow folks–that’s fine if you want 500 pounds of drier than normal pot roast. But there’s no way you can do it low and slow and still be moist without adding lots of liquid, which none of you recommended. There is one other option that comes to mind–sort of a sous vide. Drop the entire beef in a brine at about 130 degrees, for a couple of days or three. I’ve seen this done with a hog. You’ve got propane jets underneath a big galvanized watering container. First put in two or three ropes from side to side. Then a very large nylon cutting board, and then the beef. You can then use the ropes to pull the beef up already on the cutting board for easy service. The best parts of the beef will be medium rare,–as will all the rest. But it won’t be dry, and the longer you hold it, even at 130, the more collagen will break down. But spit roasting is easier and quicker. But, as I said, beef skin ain’t cracklins, so get rid of it. It won’t hold in any moisture, either. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2010, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/36 "2010-05-01T05:54:15Z")
Low and slow and in a pit. The Indians taught us that one. (Is that hickory I smell?) ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2010, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596/37 "2010-05-01T06:48:52Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > I thought you’d just feed it cheese dipped in ranch dressing until it died and then flash-fry that sucker. > [@Snickers](#): > > 🙂 Don’t forget the BBQ injection. You guys are close, but actually it’s [this](http://video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/the-cow-cheese-injection.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-cook-a-whole-cow/537596.md?page=1)