# Can you defeat the evil genie? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2022, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903 "2022-12-21T14:02:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/1 "2022-12-21T14:02:02Z")
Assume you find an old lamp and rub it, as you would (just in case). It’s your “lucky” day, you’ve released a genie. Unfortunately you’re not going to get 3 wishes, this guy is offering you only 1. He lays out the rules: your wish must be in English, it must be a maximum of 30 words and it must make full grammatical sense, no shortcuts. You may not wish for more wishes or create any loophole that will give you more wishes. The genie will be bound by your wish, he has to follow it to the letter and he cannot misunderstand. However he will actively try to misconstrue any clause which has any ambiguity at all in order to screw you over as badly as possible. Do you want to make a wish, if so, what? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/2 "2022-12-21T14:05:43Z")
I wish to have all of the powers of a genie with none of the obligations of a genie. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/3 "2022-12-21T14:09:21Z")
That effectively gives you more wishes though and so won’t work according to the parameters of the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/4 "2022-12-21T14:10:07Z")
Sounds fairly easy. How could “I want a trillion dollars, with no depreciation/inflation of currency” possibly be construed in any wrong way? The simpler, the better. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/5 "2022-12-21T14:10:31Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > I wish to have all of the powers of a genie with none of the obligations of a genie. Doesn’t that fall under the loophole? > [@colinfred](#): > > You may not wish for more wishes or create any loophole that will give you more wishes. I’ve also heard, can’t wish for more wishes? Wish for more genies! Technically I think that falls under the loophole as well. But I’m not an expert on Genie Law. > [@Velocity](#): > > Sounds fairly easy. How could “I want a trillion dollars, with no depreciation/inflation of currency” possibly be construed in any wrong way? Monkey’s Paw twist: (Team of lawyers show up at your door) Very sorry Velocity, but your entire extended family was wiped out in the worst industrial accident in history. Here is the largest settlement ever awarded. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/6 "2022-12-21T14:11:08Z")
Whatever you do, don’t ask for a 12" pianist. 😉 Although the OP specificized the genie won’t misunderstand you, so the joke is foreclosed. But it’s still too good to avoid making. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/7 "2022-12-21T14:11:12Z")
It’s the “how”. Maybe the US treasury is illegally transferred into your account (with evidence that it was engineered by you), and suddenly you’re guilty of an enormous theft. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/8 "2022-12-21T14:11:44Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > That effectively gives you more wishes though But I thought genies could only grant wishes. Can a genie wish for themselves? (I was imagining using my powers to go into business with someone, where I’d be the supplier. There’d be a lot of quid pro quo in my world) ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/9 "2022-12-21T14:12:21Z")
“I wish for happiness, health, long lives, and prosperity, for myself and my loved ones”. If that counts as one wish. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/10 "2022-12-21T14:15:37Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Sounds fairly easy. How could “I want a trillion dollars, with no depreciation/inflation of currency” possibly be construed in any wrong way? At which point the genie reaches into his(?) pantaloons pocket then hands you a 1 trillion Zimbabwe dollar note. Here’s a pic of the real _100_ trillion Z$ note: [![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3e/Zimbabwe_%24100_trillion_2009_Obverse.jpg) ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3e/Zimbabwe_%24100_trillion_2009_Obverse.jpg) At the time this note was circulating it was worth far less than one US penny. The Z$ has since been replaced but the notes are still out there. At the exchange rates in effect right now today, the least valuable “dollar” is the Guyanese dollar at ~200 per USD. So your “trillion” is now US$5 billion. I’d still happily take that gift, but it’s not the same as you’d hoped for. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/11 "2022-12-21T14:20:04Z")
I wish: A vaccine for AIDS discovered. Let it be 100% effective, no side effects, freely available for all people, cheap to buy, widely publicized, within 10 days from now. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/12 "2022-12-21T14:25:37Z")
I want a device that will allow me to travel through time, both to the past, and to the future, bringing or taking back anything with me I wish-- a special bag may be supplied to guarantee items being carried with me, but I must be able to transport objects. Also, clothes I am wearing, and objects in my pockets, or that I can fairly be described as “wearing” will go with me. I must be able to specify the time, down to the minute, as well as the location, so that I can travel from Indiana in 2022 to Whitechapel, London, November, 1888 [specific date, time, and address would be supplied, but I don’t feel like looking them up now]. It must be a small device, such as a hand-held device, or something I can stand on, but pick up, fold and place in a pocket. I must be able to use it an infinite amount of times, and there will be no existential limits to my ability to interact with other people in either the past or the future-- or my present as defined by the time I encountered the genie. Oh-- the device must travel with me, and therefore be reusable. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/13 "2022-12-21T14:33:57Z")
max 30 words. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/14 "2022-12-21T14:41:41Z")
> [@colinfred](#): > > However he will actively try to misconstrue any clause which has any ambiguity at all in order to screw you over as badly as possible. > > Do you want to make a wish, if so, what? The Genie will be much older than me and at this much longer than me, so I would not have the hubris to think I could beat him at his own trick, so I would pass. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/15 "2022-12-21T14:41:47Z")
I wish to purchase the only winning ticket of the Mega Millions jackpot on December 23, 2022. (Jackpot is estimated to be around 510 million bucks.) ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/16 "2022-12-21T14:46:04Z")
Give me incredibly good luck, so I win any raffle, lottery, or any such contest I choose to enter but cannot be forced to enter any such against my will. (Ha. Exactly 20.) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/17 "2022-12-21T14:46:55Z")
If the Genie is a complete jerk and it sounds like he would be. You can purchase it and then somehow lose it before getting the money. Iffy though, your wish might work. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/18 "2022-12-21T14:48:08Z")
I wish you back in your lamp, and stay there. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/19 "2022-12-21T14:49:05Z")
> **[Jackass Genie - TV Tropes](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/JackassGenie)** > > Generally speaking, a Literal Genie will make logical but basic interpretations of a wish. Nothing more and nothing less than what the wish explicitly states. This is so that when a wish backfires, we can laugh at the foolishness of whoever made … The trillion dollars will be counterfeit. My wish: “Fuck you, Genie!” He’ll probably have some STD or worse. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2022, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903/20 "2022-12-21T14:53:20Z")
Wouldn’t you rather have a djinn — no chaser? (Sorry, Mr. Ellison) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-defeat-the-evil-genie/976903.md?page=2)