# Can you fart through your dick? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 29, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464 "2009-01-29T00:06:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/21 "2009-01-29T17:33:54Z")
Huh. Niven wrote about this malady when describing Louis Wu struggling with old age in the sucky _Ringworld Throne_, and it sounded made-up to me. I guess not. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/22 "2009-01-29T17:41:31Z")
If you got your dick pierced then could you play it like a flute or recorder? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/23 "2009-01-29T18:01:18Z")
Guess I’d not fully realized the significance of the term “woodwind” before. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/24 "2009-01-29T18:13:25Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > _runs off to develop memory-loss technology, or find a rufie, whichever comes first_ **Mr. Burns:** Smithers, use the amnesia ray. \*\*Smithers: \*\*You mean the revolver, sir? \*\*Mr. Burns: \*\*Precisely. Be sure to wipe your own memory clear when you’re finished. I’m just sayin’ is all … ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/25 "2009-01-29T18:22:48Z")
> [@Peanut\_Gallery](#): > > Ugh. I really \*really \*wanted the answer to this to be No. Are you kidding? I think that the tiny sound that they would make would be adorable. ---
**Author:** ![rucciface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ba9def/32.png) [@rucciface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rucciface)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/26 "2009-01-29T18:44:31Z")
Every guy I see today, I’m going to be thinking about manqueefs. I’ve only looked at one guy so far, and I’m already hysterical. Somehow, life doesn’t seem so gloomy anymore. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/27 "2009-01-29T18:54:35Z")
Once they knew, I’d give teenage boys three minutes before they’ve got a Zippo and are lighting 'em. _“Look at me, I’m a flamethrower: fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttt…”_ ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/28 "2009-01-29T19:01:29Z")
> [@Enola Straight](#): > > Could the yeast ferment enough glucose to produce an…expressable…quantity of carbon dioxide? > [@lieu](#): > > What… a silent but breadly? Now I’m not sure which is weirder, the idea that someone could fart through his dick, or that if he did, it’d smell like bread… ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/29 "2009-01-29T19:03:13Z")
Sometimes when I go pee it starts with a little pop and hiss that I’ve often wondered if it is air coming out of my urethra. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/30 "2009-01-29T19:10:11Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I think this thread will top the pan-fried semen one. The mind boggles. > > You know what’s even more mind-boggling? Someday there will be a thread to top this one. Just a minute…_Pan Fried Semen?_ I musta missed that one. Thank Og ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/31 "2009-01-29T19:12:36Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I think this thread will top the pan-fried semen one. The mind boggles. > > You know what’s even more mind-boggling? Someday there will be a thread to top this one. Eventually we have to stop finding holes to put stuff in or have stuff come out of. Apparently, today is not that day. But one day. It will be called penetration/extraction exhaustion day and it will be celebrated in the streets. Not to say I didn’t laugh at the thread, you dickfarts. Try explaining that to your dad about why you are laughing out loud… ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/32 "2009-01-29T19:29:27Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Sometimes when I go pee it starts with a little pop and hiss that I’ve often wondered if it is air coming out of my urethra. Or you have a pull tab on your dick and you pee beer. ---
**Author:** ![Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tool_of_the_Conspiracy)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/33 "2009-01-29T22:04:06Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Or you have a pull tab on your dick and you pee beer. Or if not beer, perhaps merely Coors. Seriously though, QtM’s post makes it sound like it could be serious. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/34 "2009-01-29T22:07:48Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > Just a minute…_Pan Fried Semen?_ I musta missed that one. > > Thank Og post/username score: 9.2 ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/35 "2009-01-29T22:41:28Z")
> [@Tool\_of\_the\_Conspiracy](#): > > Or if not beer, perhaps merely Coors. Either way, he should probably see a doc. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/36 "2009-01-29T23:05:04Z")
> [@chowder](#): > > Just a minute…_Pan Fried Semen?_ I musta missed that one. > > Thank Og [Oh you don’t get off that easy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=198659). Click it, you know you want to… ---
**Author:** ![hobscrk777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a6a055/32.png) [@hobscrk777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobscrk777)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/37 "2009-01-30T01:03:08Z")
I’ve been avoiding checking this thread for the last day or so. It just seemed too outrageous. Now I’m glad I did, I’m in stitches here with laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/38 "2009-01-30T06:20:45Z")
Dickfart? Manqueef?? Woodwind?!? 😛 I’m wondering how it would sound; maybe kinda like the squeal you get when you “play” a deflating baloon, or some soprano reed instrument. Wiiiieeeeeyeeeeeyeeeyeeep-p-p-p-p! ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/39 "2009-01-30T07:23:48Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > How **DMark** plans to carve a niche out to find work in this struggling economy: > > “Hey guys, wanna see a neat trick with a condom? Watch! And then you can tie a bunch of them together and make balloon animals at parties…” I was OK till this comment, but for some reason(prob that I just watched the movie) as I read it I flashed to Johnny from Airplane! “What do you make of this?” “Oh, I can make a hat, or a broach, or a Pterodactyl,…” ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2009, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464/40 "2009-01-30T08:11:47Z")
**THIS** > [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > Where do you think lawyers come from? Went right into my humor “ **sweet spot** ”:D:D:D Thank you, **Paul**! Quasi [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-fart-through-your-dick/483464.md?page=1)