# Can you get it stuck?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [June 17, 2001, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111 "2001-06-17T10:39:44Z")
**Posts on this page:** 15
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@phartizan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phartizan)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2001, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/1 "2001-06-17T10:39:44Z")
According to an item cited in last week’s Far Eastern Economic Review, a Malaysian couple had to be rescued by their neighbors after taking some kind of stimulant. “Joined together at their private parts, the red-faced couple had to be carried to the ambulance”. Doctors supposedly treated the problem by injecting the fifty-year-old woman with a relaxant so the sixty-year-old man could be removed. Tell me it ain’t true.
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### Author:  [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2001, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/2 "2001-06-17T12:54:22Z")
I think there was a Cesal column about it. In short IIRC no.
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### Author:  [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)
#### Post date: [June 17, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/3 "2001-06-17T13:04:23Z")
[http://www.snopes.com/sex/penile/captivus.htm](http://www.snopes.com/sex/penile/captivus.htm)
The answer, according to snopes? Perhaps, but it’s unlikely,
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### Author:  [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/4 "2001-06-18T01:25:54Z")
**Moderator’s note:**
Ah, shucky-durn.
I’ve tried, TRIED, to persuade myself this is polling or even Debate Lite. Let’s face it, anecdotal accounts alone would have a certain train-wreck fascination.
But no–we have _standards_, guldurnit, even though they’re ::ahem!:: flexible. Factual inquiry; factual forum.
Movin’ it to GQ.
TVeblen,
for IMHO
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### Author:  [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/5 "2001-06-18T02:14:34Z")
Arf - arf - arf.
Toss a pail of water on 'em.
Referring to the condition as “dog knotting”, for obvious reasons, Tom Sharpe made wonderful fictional use of the condition in “Vintage Stuff”, whether founded in sheer fantasy or a real condition.
Somehow, this reminds me of another ULish sounding story which circulated a few years ago:
> [@](#):
>
> This one came off of UPI 2/24/92, Human Interest Department:
>
> It’ll probably be a long time before a Wichita, Kansas, man forgets last Valentine’s Day. He spent more than 12 hours with a seven-and-a-half pound barbell weight stuck on his erect penis.
>
> A fire department report says the man…and barbell…showed up late afternoon at St. Francis Regional Medical Center. He told doctors he’d decided early that morning to see if his penis would fit into the center hole of a barbell weight. It did, at first. But when it became erect, the man found he could NOT pull out again. NEITHER doctors NOR a fire department rescue squad using bolt cutters could free the man from the barbell. The weight was finally removed after a urologist made an incision…allowing blood to drain from the man’s penis and go limp.
>
> The incident kind of gives new meaning to the phrase “pumping iron”.
I don’t believe it. You would think that sheer embarassment would have caused him to detumesce. And even if he COULD maintain an erection for 12 hours, and could not obtain friction against the barbell hole, he could surely figure out some way to masturbate and, umm, lower the PSI. And finally, why would the medical center, where he first walked into, call a fire department rescue squad with bolt cutters?
You’re NOT getting them cutters anywhere near MY bolt wherever it might be.
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/6 "2001-06-18T04:19:53Z")
The answer is no, and goodness knows how many times I’ve tried to do just that with full approval from my partner.
\
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/7 "2001-06-18T11:20:59Z")
I quote from [this site](http://www.ansible.demon.co.uk/writing/platens2.html) (the “Hazel’s Language Lessons” section):-
> [@](#):
>
> And the implausible Lexicon of Love (ed. Samuel Roth, 1950-51) offered … the very credulity-straining _snapper_: “Vagina with a nervous twitch powerful enough to enable it to grasp the male, pull him and continue to agitate him until he is completely spent. In certain eastern countries a woman in possession of such an organ is immediately promoted into the nobility, and her marriageable sisters with her. Called the nut-cracker in French.”
I just quote. I do not comment. Except to say: eep.
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### Author:  [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/8 "2001-06-18T12:09:27Z")
-
-
- There is a condition call _vaginismous_ if I remember right, where upon attempting sex the female clenches so tight the male cannot enter at all. It is considered a neurotic conditon not tied to any particular cause. —I say “Phone numbers, dammit! I need phone numbers!”
- And by the by, um, certain undiscerning men do get odd things stuck in odd places, as most any big city medical worker can tell you. The stories are often rather creative. A shot of relaxant to the target is the typical method of removal; the “incision” bit qualifies it as pure BS. That guy wouldn’t be able to get a hard-on for a year. Can you say “lawsuit”? How about “20/20”? - MC
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### Author:  [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/9 "2001-06-18T21:29:21Z")
Actually, if the circumference of the penis is constricted enough, it cannot and will not detumesce, regardless of the emotional state of the, ahem… bearer.
For you see, the arteries that allow blood _in_ to the corpus callosum (the spongy tubes that inflate to make the penis erect) are located in the center of the penis, while the veins that allow blood _out_ of the penis are out near the surface. When you constrict these veins with something rigid and unyeilding, like a wedding band, a cockring, a glass bottle, or a barbell weight, blood goes in, but it doesn’t go out. And the penis can swell to painfully immense proportions, doing permanent damage… eeouch!
Whether or not the barbell story is true, it is indeed medically accurate. If the constricting item cannot be cut through, then the only way to releive the pressure is to make an incision in the corpus callosum so that the blood can escape. If the penis did not swell too large and damage the corpus callosum or the attendant blood vessels, then the man probably was able to have erections again, eventually.
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### Author:  [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)
#### Post date: [June 18, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/10 "2001-06-18T22:38:36Z")
May I speak for the entire male population to say
**AAAAEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!**
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/11 "2001-06-19T04:15:31Z")
Say whatever you want, but I usually have to pay extra for that…
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### Author:  [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/12 "2001-06-19T06:24:16Z")
I remember back when I in 5th or 6th grade and all the girls were told to stay in one classroom and all we boys were moved to another classroom so the teachers could show us those horrible sex-ed videos and answer our questions about them, the teacher, a crotchety and completely unembarassable old woman, told us about this. She swore it was really true, and that she had read cases exacly like the one described by the OP. This generated a lot of pained expressions on our young faces, and probably would have kept me a virgin for a long time, if lack of opportunity (and, honestly, at that age, lack of desire not to be) hadn’t been much more effective, anyway. I don’t think any one of us in that room could imagine anything more embarrassing than having to be taken to the hospital for our parents and everyone else to see, literally locked in an amorous embrace with someone.
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### Author:  [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/13 "2001-06-19T07:13:11Z")
I used the term _corpus callosum_ several times in a previous post, in reference to the spongy penile tissue that holds blood in order to make the penis erect. My use of this term was in error. The correct term is _corpus cavernosum_. I also made this error in another thread that I may or may not find in time to correct.
The corpus callosum is the part of the brain that connects the right half of the brain to the left half. The two hemispheres of the brain are intimately interconnected, and all of these connections are made via the corpus callosum. Sometimes the corpus callosum is surgically severed in order to help prevent the symptoms of epilepsy.
Apparently, I had penises on the brain…
You’re welcome.
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### Author:  [@Linear\_Crack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linear_Crack)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/14 "2001-06-19T07:25:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by bughunter \*
> \*\*Apparently, I had penises on the brain…
> \*\*
I wonder if thats where they get the term **dickhead**! 🙂
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### Author:  [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)
#### Post date: [June 19, 2001, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-get-it-stuck/69111/15 "2001-06-19T07:26:50Z")
I once heard a story of a serviceman whose unit was up for inspection. The men were forbidden to wear jewelry during inspection, but in loyalty to his bride, this serviceman did not want to take off his wedding band. Therefore he placed it on his penis.
As you can guess, from the previous posts in this thread, the serviceman was in for an unpleasant surprise. The wedding band constricted the effluxing veins of his penis to the point where he gained an uncontrollable, painful erection. While attempting to stand in formation, this poor enlisted man’s penis swelled to excruciating proportions, until the pain forced him to collapse on the ground. Medics were called and eventually a urologist was summoned to surgically relieve this poor man’s erection so that the wedding band could be removed…
Now I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t have _any_ fingers large enough to size a ring that I could ever even remotely consider large enough to fit around my johnson. This poor man must have been unlucky in more ways than one. And that goes for his bride, too…