# Can you respect a man who boinks a woman he otherwise expresses contempt for? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 4, 2016, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910 "2016-05-04T17:16:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/41 "2016-05-05T03:18:47Z")
I’m not sure I’d have much respect left for him if he referred to sex as “Boinking”. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/42 "2016-05-05T04:55:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > …we spoke about the interaction with Donna, about whch Richard shared few details beyond hte obvious. Someone commented that it was difficult to imagine having sex with Donna, despite the aforehinted rocking bod, because of hte ignorant, hateful bile she had spewed about non-Christian, non-white persons. Richard agreed with the negative assessment of Donna’s character, relating several even more offenstive things she had said which the rest of us hadn’t heard. Donna was, he said, entirely repulsive in character; words rhyming with witch, bassist, hunt, cupid, and elf-clothing were the best descriptiors of her, he said. But for a casual hookup that didn’t matter–just that she was willing, beautiful, and limber. To paraphrase; he didn’t give details of their wild monkey sex but when the conversation turned to what a bitch she is he gave some add’l examples that the others weren’t aware of. He got to know her better the more time he was with her (even if that time was naked & horizontal) & decided she was too much even for a “Boinking” (to make **snfaulkner** happy). ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/43 "2016-05-05T05:13:29Z")
> [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](#): > > There’s a lot to be said for hate-fucking and I heartily endorse it. > > So the verdict is: hookup = legit. > > As to the bad-mouthing afterward, it sounds like Donna is a terrible person, and was using Dick for… well… dick, and forbidden dick at that. She sounds like the type of person who would openly disrespect him in public, then bang him enthusiastically in private, then treat him even WORSE in public due to the ol’ elf-clothing. In that case, she’s not entitled to Dick’s courtesy, although with that being said, the mark of the courteous man is how he treats those who have not earned his courtesy. > > So the verdict is: smack talk = permissible, but somewhat gauche, depending. I think I agree with this. Someone is a racist, yet bonks my [differently colored] ass just for their jollies? I’m sure disabusing others that she’s more bigoted than even assumed, wouldn’t seem like such a bad thing. She trashes me up front, I confirm that she is indeed the asshole she appears. They both get their groove on and karmic justice at the same time. As to the rest… ick for all parties involved. Surely there’s better ways to get off for the night. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/44 "2016-05-05T06:27:56Z")
I just think of such action as typical. As a man, looks are the most important part of a woman being sexually attractive. It just is. So, if a guy wants to have sex (not live w/, marry, whatever) a woman’s character is going to be pretty far down the list. I think I’m a little different, but I am atypical. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/45 "2016-05-05T07:21:37Z")
No. Don’t care about the gender of either party, but having sex with someone you despise is something I find repulsive. Having sex with someone and later ending up despising them, that’s often a medium-length version between “the long version” and “my ex” (not in every case, as not everybody despises their exes, but often enough to fall in the realm of normal). I had a coworker who despised his wife, the only good thing he could say about her was that she was a petite woman with huge tits, this despite her having putting his asshole and attached parts through college. I don’t think I’ll ever know, but if she ever woke up and took him to the cleaners I’ll cheer. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/46 "2016-05-05T07:42:23Z")
heh ive seen people sleep with people they met for 20 minutes where the whole convo went like "I don’t need names or conversation your hot and good in bed I’m told so shut up and lets go " and then pass each other the next day like they’d never met …I even asked her wasn’t that the guy\ you left with ? she got that look like she just remembered something and said "oh yeah… they were right he was great although he seemed like someone I wouldn’t really want to know … ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/47 "2016-05-05T14:30:39Z")
One question: Do Richard and the rest of you know Donna through work? If so… ugh. I think sex with co workers generally doesn’t end well. Especially casual sex with someone you already kind of don’t like. So if you all work together through work… less respect right away I don’t know enough about Richard before hand to know if I could lose respect for him after. Based on what you have said though, I don’t think I would. Personally, I don’t really have respect for “ladies man” types. Charming? If I think you have been a man whore I probably don’t have a lot of respect for you. Sex is great, if you are having a lot of it, wonderful! But I don’t particularly want to know about it. Talking about it after? Very bad taste, and I would have left the table. There are things I do not want to know about my co workers. She sounds revolting too. But now I am annoyed that I have to feel slightly bad for her because she is being discussed like cheap meat behind her back. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/48 "2016-05-05T14:52:40Z")
I don’t care about the hook-up itself. Who cares? If you’re going to have casual sex then what do you really know about the other person anyway? All the other aspects of it bother me a little, especially the risk Richard took fathering a child with a woman he despises and presumably he would also despise the way she raised such a child. Also the way he talked about her afterward doesn’t make him look than good anyway, maybe they deserve each other. But for the basic premise, it doesn’t make much sense to ask about. People have sex all the time based on simple physical attraction with people they hardly know. It’s just sex. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/49 "2016-05-05T15:42:44Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I think I agree with this. Someone is a racist, yet bonks my [differently colored] ass just for their jollies? That sounds kind of hot, to me personally… ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/50 "2016-05-05T16:14:52Z")
Gentlemen don’t talk about their sexual relationships with women. I’ve no interest in hearing about such things and would never discuss my sexual relationship with a woman with anyone except her. That’s between you and your partner and babbling out it with the guy is vulgar and suggests a dull mind. I don’t care if the woman he’s nailing is a sinner or a saint, he shouldn’t be telling anyone about it beyond “X and I are seeing each other.” ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910/51 "2016-05-05T16:45:41Z")
That would be about 900th on my list of criteria for whether I would respect someone or not. It is highly improbable that I would know that detail about someone, nor care to know. However, I’d probably have less respect for someone who told me (or let it be known) whom he was nailing, and her identity would not be germane… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-respect-a-man-who-boinks-a-woman-he-otherwise-expresses-contempt-for/753910.md?page=2)