# Can you top RickJay's Chuck Norris joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865 "2008-01-01T03:19:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/41 "2008-01-02T22:01:36Z")
When he’s stumped, Cecil calls Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/42 "2008-01-02T22:13:06Z")
[QUOTE=Tahssa] It’s not **k** new but it’s my favorite. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lie the fuck down. [/QUOTE] Chuck Norris edits all posts. He never misspells. The extra _K_ is for _kill_. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/43 "2008-01-02T22:28:03Z")
Good one **Flander**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/44 "2008-01-02T23:30:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer > Maybe YOU couldn’t domesticate Cape buffalo. But what about CHUCK NORRIS? No one can domesticate Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/45 "2008-01-02T23:43:46Z")
Upon hearing that there was “One ring to rule them all”, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Ring into a volcano. Fearful kingdom authorities later developed a cover story blaming it on some tussle between elves and wizards. ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/46 "2008-01-02T23:45:45Z")
There once was a man from Nantucket, who was thrown into the sun by Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/47 "2008-01-02T23:50:26Z")
The Big Bang was Chuck Norris roundhousing the Universe. He did it so he would have more asses to kick. The Universe is still expanding and running away in all directions. It’s afraid of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can win a game of “Connect Four” in three moves. _A Force of One_ was originally conceived as a sequel to _The Magnificent Seven_, but Chuck Norris killed and ate the other six. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/48 "2008-01-03T00:06:25Z")
Tim Tebow once challenged Chuck Norris to a throwing contest: After Tebow threw the ball the length of the field, Chuck Norris responded by throwing Tebow the length of the field. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/49 "2008-01-03T00:19:40Z")
Damnit, going through this site I see that the connect four thing is an old one. I really thought I invented that one. Must have heard it somewhere and forgotten. A coward dies a thousand deaths. Chuck Norris kills him a thousand times… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/50 "2008-01-03T00:21:56Z")
I had to look up Tim Tebow. Turns out he’s a Heisman winner and he’s almost a full year younger than me. Damn, I feel like Van Wilder here. Time to start getting serious about my degree! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/51 "2008-01-03T00:31:48Z")
Chuck Norris decided to single handedly end WWII. He went to Japan armed only with two cans of pork and beans. He ate the first one on August 6, 1945… ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/52 "2008-01-03T00:39:43Z")
Best [Chuck Norris joke](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7czRrFNRQO0) everz! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/53 "2008-01-03T04:19:49Z")
[QUOTE=Charger] There once was a man from Nantucket, who was thrown into the sun by Chuck Norris. [/QUOTE] I like this one better than mine. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/54 "2008-01-03T04:26:38Z")
[QUOTE=Flander] Chuck Norris edits all posts. He never misspells. The extra _K_ is for _kill_. [/QUOTE] Win. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/55 "2008-01-03T05:16:28Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] In a cemetery with an old man and his family? [/QUOTE] I overlooked that. Of course, I meant the assault on Omaha Beach on D-Day. Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick a field goal in Tampa’s Raymond James Stadium…from the 50 yard line…of Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/56 "2008-01-03T14:24:04Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] Chuck Norris can win a game of “Connect Four” in three moves. [/QUOTE] This one is perfect for me - it captures the epic silliness of this whole meme… ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/57 "2008-01-03T15:32:39Z")
So Don Walsh and Jacques Piccard are tooling around in their bathyscaphe, early January, 1960. On the bottom of the Mariana trench. After 20 minutes, Chuck Norris got tired of them. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/58 "2008-01-03T18:34:14Z")
Chuck Norris knows the third word that ends -gry. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/59 "2008-01-03T18:49:34Z")
Chuck Norris solved “14 k of g in a f p d”, and is _still_ laughing at us about it. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/60 "2008-01-03T19:00:45Z")
Every time Chuch Norris masturbates God throws a kitten a life buoy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865.md?page=4)