# Can you top RickJay's Chuck Norris joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865 "2008-01-01T03:19:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/61 "2008-01-03T19:01:30Z")
Chuck Norris can beat you at tic-tac-toe. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/62 "2008-01-03T21:47:09Z")
[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus] Chuck Norris can beat you at tic-tac-toe. [/QUOTE] Beating you in tic-tac-toe isn’t the tough part. It’s _how_… [Victory.](http://s271.photobucket.com/albums/jj121/Flanderguitar/?action=view¤t=chucktactoe.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/63 "2008-01-04T00:57:13Z")
[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect] I had to look up Tim Tebow. Turns out he’s a Heisman winner and he’s almost a full year younger than me. Damn, I feel like Van Wilder here. Time to start getting serious about my degree! [/QUOTE] Chuck Norris is suddenly serious about your degree. You should be ready to graduate … just abouuuuuuut … now! ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/64 "2008-01-04T00:58:59Z")
Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton didn’t forget to put their panties on. Chuck Norris glared at them and the panties fell off. All three women have been trying to drink away the memory ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/65 "2008-01-04T16:17:16Z")
So **Skald** , anyone top **RickJay’s** joke in your eyes? ---
**Author:** ![Parthol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Parthol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Parthol)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/66 "2008-01-04T17:00:40Z")
Black holes fall into Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/67 "2008-01-04T17:04:50Z")
[QUOTE=Great Dave] Chuck Norris knows the third word that ends -gry. [/QUOTE] Chuck Norris _is_ the third word that ends in -gry. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/68 "2008-01-04T17:15:03Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. [/QUOTE] This is my fav. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/69 "2008-01-04T17:19:47Z")
Chuck Norris can kick Cecil’s ass, but Cecil can prove conclusively that he can’t. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/70 "2008-01-04T17:20:40Z")
Chuck Norris is a washed-up former acolyte to a genuine badass. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/71 "2008-01-04T21:51:09Z")
[QUOTE=Flander] So **Skald** , anyone top **RickJay’s** joke in your eyes? [/QUOTE] “Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/72 "2008-01-05T04:00:30Z")
Before the boogeyman turns out the light at night, he looks under the bed for Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/73 "2008-01-05T04:06:21Z")
Chuck Norris can give his girlfriend an orgasm without taking her clothes off. Wait, no, that’s me. 🆒 You would gloat too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/74 "2008-01-05T04:37:28Z")
On the seventh day, Og rested, because the night before, Chuck Norris showed up and took over . . . Chuck Norris does not have a beard. Each of his pores has its own little roundhouse kickin’ leg. Arnold Schwarzenneger had to play the part of the Terminator for the films because they couldn’t get Chuck Norris’ moves to actually show up on film (and they didn’t want him to think it was real). Tripler The Arctic Circle is just an ice chest for Chuck Norris’ beer. ---
**Author:** ![TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@TheBoneyKingofNowhere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoneyKingofNowhere)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/75 "2008-01-05T05:08:13Z")
Chuck Norris performed the miracle of turning regular table salt into… bacon salt. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/76 "2008-01-05T05:53:36Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] …The Arctic Circle is just an ice chest for Chuck Norris’ beer. [/QUOTE] Chuck Norris’ “beer” is E85 ethanol. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/77 "2008-01-05T06:33:52Z")
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a camel through the eye of a needle so now he’s having a hearse with a luggage rack specially made. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/78 "2008-01-05T22:21:56Z")
Chuck Norris works out every single day. He does an Iron Man Triathlon first thing in the morning to get loosed up for it. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/79 "2008-01-05T22:43:17Z")
Chuck Norris’s wife thought it was time they had children, so Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her in the vagina, and she instantly shot a baby Chuck Norris out of her womb _with_ chest hair. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865/80 "2008-01-05T22:47:19Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] Chuck Norris works out every single day. He does an Iron Man Triathlon first thing in the morning to get loosed up for it. [/QUOTE] Chuck Norris working out is the cause of Global Warming. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-top-rickjays-chuck-norris-joke/431865.md?page=5)