# Can you trust your girlfriend's guyfriends? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2001, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524 "2001-05-25T23:47:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![raverxhouston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b3f665/32.png) [@raverxhouston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raverxhouston)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/1 "2001-05-25T23:47:29Z")
I’ve learned over the past few years not to trust any of my girlfriend’s guyfriends. Especially when your girlfriend has a lot of them. People tell me, “You should trust your girlfriend and you have nothing to worry about.” I agree, but the problem isn’t with the girl, it’s with the guys. All I know is all my buddies(guys), wouldn’t mind having sex with their buddies’ girlfriends. In general, most guys have one thing one their mind. SEX! SEX! SEX! So would you trust your own girlfriend to go clubbing, getting drunk, with a couple of her GUY friends? ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/2 "2001-05-25T23:52:51Z")
“No woman is faithful, as long as there’s a man or dog in the room.” -Aleister Crowley ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/3 "2001-05-26T00:42:13Z")
Well Aleister Crowley (ugh) aside, I know that I personally have never slept with any of my guy friends. Really what it boils down to is how well you trust your girlfriend. There are those of us out there that are actually faithful. Ginger ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/4 "2001-05-26T00:47:45Z")
When I had a girlfriend I trusted her male and female friends (she’s bi). Completely, in fact. I knew her, and I knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t associate with people who aren’t healthy and respectful of her. All this, and she was about two days’ drive from me or so. She could have had an affair and never told me about it (but she didn’t:)). I miss being with her. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/5 "2001-05-26T04:30:09Z")
I’ve always trusted my girlfriend around her male friends. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/6 "2001-05-26T04:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > All I know is all my buddies(guys), wouldn’t mind having sex with their buddies’ girlfriends. If this is the case, then shouldn’t guys be watching their own guy friends rather than their girlfriend’s guy friends? ---
**Author:** ![Container20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Container20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Container20)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/7 "2001-05-26T04:44:01Z")
No. I found this out several times. ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/8 "2001-05-26T08:07:13Z")
The last time this was an issue between me and my boyfriend, I ended up sleeping with my guy friend. It was weird though, because we’d been friends for years before, and nothing had ever happened with us. My boy got jealous, and within a week, I was hooking up with my friend. We broke up, and haven’t talked since. I don’t know if this means anything or not, because I’m twisted like that, but that’s just my personal experience. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/9 "2001-05-26T12:57:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by raverxhouston \* > **People tell me, “You should trust your girlfriend and you have nothing to worry about.” I agree, but the problem isn’t with the girl, it’s with the guys.** Sorry, I strongly disagree. If the girl decides to act on her curiousity with her guy friends, then there wasn’t much of a relationship between the two of you to begin with. That, or the relationship you thought you once had is gone and should be forgotten. Go out a find a woman you can trust. I mean, come on, you’re making it sound like the woman here has no say in this at all, like she can’t make a rational decision to save her life. Get real. Regardless of whether you’re a man or woman, or who is doing the pursuing or not, it still takes two people to do the dead. The “blame”, as you call it, should be spread equally, between all involved and regardless of the sex or circumstances. Unless, of course, you don’t believe in free will. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/10 "2001-05-26T13:21:24Z")
Umm, Ooops. That _should_ read **deed** , not **dead**. I wasn’t trying to cast aspersions on your girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/11 "2001-05-26T14:32:46Z")
…Not if I’m the guy. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/12 "2001-05-26T15:52:26Z")
> [@](#): > > So would you trust your own girlfriend to go clubbing, getting drunk, with a couple of her GUY friends? I suppose so, although clubbing and getting drunk isn’t generally her style. But if she said she was going to do so, I would trust her to follow through on it. OK, seriously, I think you are really asking whether or not I’d worry that she is having sex with her guy friends. Look, wouldn’t you be a lot happier if you stopped worrying about that altogether? Why should you care one way or the other? I mean, if she wants to, you’d rather she didn’t anyway? And you think this is an expression of what, exactly? I mean, if you’re the one she wants to come home to, it must be for a reason. If you like her, maybe you should think again about the proprietary “If you have sex with me you can’t have sex with other guys any more” attitude. ---
**Author:** ![ignatzmouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b2d939/32.png) [@ignatzmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignatzmouse)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/13 "2001-05-26T16:02:58Z")
> [@](#): > > “No woman is faithful, as long as there’s a man or dog in the room.” > -Aleister Crowley Well, yeah…If you’re Aleister Crowley. ---
**Author:** ![Container20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Container20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Container20)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/14 "2001-05-26T20:55:31Z")
You cannot possibly imagine how much it enrages me to find that a girl, over a tiff with her boyfriend, has gone out and laid some guy friend of hers!! Just for spite. I don’t do that (with a female friend, of course) but it’s been done to me a couple of times and the instant I found out, the relationship was over. No excuses, no ‘but you gotta unnerstand, … I was hurt!’, or, best of all ‘but, it didn’t **mean** anything!!’ My reply was usually a bit loud and vulgar and very, very negative. I took back two engagement rings over such incidents. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/15 "2001-05-26T21:56:12Z")
“and laid some guy friend of hers!!” Yeah, sometimes its the brother of the boyfriend instead. Whoa boy, thats a humdinger. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/16 "2001-05-27T00:59:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Container20 \* > \*\*You cannot possibly imagine how much it enrages me to find that a girl, over a tiff with her boyfriend, has gone out and laid some guy friend of hers!! Just for spite. I don’t do that (with a female friend, of course) but it’s been done to me a couple of times and the instant I found out, the relationship was over. No excuses, no ‘but you gotta unnerstand, … I was hurt!’, or, best of all ‘but, it didn’t **mean** anything!!’ I think perhaps you missed the point on this. It isn’t necessarily out of spite that women sleep with a guy friend because you are jealous (though this could be the case) sometimes it is more because you pushed her away to begin with. I’d even say that this tends to enter into the equation quite a bit. Look, if this is what happened, either she wasn’t worth your love (or whatever), you weren’t worth hers, or (most likely) a little of both. As unsatisfactory as this may seem with all the sex-crazed guys and faithless girls out there, you’ve got to trust your significant other to be faithful. This is not to say you should be naive, but if you don’t trust her (or him) it is not good. [This is a little preachy, especially coming from one who has little experience with this particular situation, but I’m pretty sure this is a good idea.] ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/17 "2001-05-27T01:01:32Z")
Whoops, should have previewed before posting. I didn’t mean to bold all that. Looks good though. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/18 "2001-05-27T01:06:46Z")
I never trust the guyfriends. I trust the girlfirend. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/19 "2001-05-27T01:40:36Z")
There’s a reason that my guy friends are my guy friends. That reason is simply that I have no desire to even see them w/o shirts on, much less sleep with them. The thought kinda makes me sick, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Geshtal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a9a28c/32.png) [@Geshtal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geshtal)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524/20 "2001-05-27T07:57:35Z")
I hate to be the newbie cynic but people in general can’t be trusted. Individuals can earn one’s trust, but if you don’t know these other friends, then they’re capable of anything. I speak from unfortunate experience. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/can-you-trust-your-girlfriends-guyfriends/66524.md?page=2)