# Canada declares war on Mexico! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2012, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986 "2012-01-28T13:49:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pojimba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@pojimba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pojimba)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/21 "2012-01-28T21:53:48Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > If such a war happened, and Canada and Mexico were both reduced to shambles, then the WORLD wins. Huh? Where are you from? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/22 "2012-01-28T22:01:56Z")
> [@pojimba](#): > > Huh? > > Where are you from? 'tis a joke **pojimba**. I’m from The Greatest Country Ever Given to Man By God on Earth, of course. Which is why I joke about how if Mexico and Canada were gone, it’d be good for the world. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/23 "2012-01-28T22:05:54Z")
Economically, Canada could hurt Mexico big time. Even with a small navy, the threat of getting your oil tanker or cargo ship sunk would be enough to greatly reduce shipping into and out of Mexico. Mexico would have no comparable ability to blockade Canada. Note that the US did quite well against Mexico in the old days (both in big and [little wars](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_occupation_of_Veracruz)) because the typical Mexican guy didn’t care at all about putting his neck on the line to support the wealthy folks that ran the country. If the same were true today, it wouldn’t take a major force to push thru to the Halls of Montezuma. OTOH, given the factions and regional issues, it could turn into Afghanistan/Viet Nam really fast. With deserts _and_ jungles! ---
**Author:** ![pojimba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@pojimba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pojimba)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/24 "2012-01-28T22:12:18Z")
Oh, okay, sorry. You guys crack me up.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/25 "2012-01-28T22:15:53Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Economically, Canada could hurt Mexico big time. Even with a small navy, the threat of getting your oil tanker or cargo ship sunk would be enough to greatly reduce shipping into and out of Mexico. Mexico would have no comparable ability to blockade Canada. > > Note that the US did quite well against Mexico in the old days (both in big and [little wars](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_occupation_of_Veracruz)) because the typical Mexican guy didn’t care at all about putting his neck on the line to support the wealthy folks that ran the country. > > If the same were true today, it wouldn’t take a major force to push thru to the Halls of Montezuma. > > OTOH, given the factions and regional issues, it could turn into Afghanistan/Viet Nam really fast. With deserts _and_ jungles! Alot of “typical guys” everywhere do not mind putting their neck on the line to support the wealthy folks that run their countries. Sometimes it is even called being BRAVE. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/26 "2012-01-28T22:47:05Z")
> [@This Just In](#): > > And really, once we’ve captured a resort town or two, we’re done. To quote Kaiser Wilhelm II, Canada just wants its place in the sun. Posted from Kauai. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/27 "2012-01-29T01:45:54Z")
> [@CheeseDonkey](#): > > What does the US do? Encourage both sides. The US is the weapons supplier to the world. If the war goes on more than a year, we’ll align ourselves with whichever side appears to be winning in return for all territory gained during the war. My guess is that we’d want Mexico’s land more than Canada’s so we’d align with our Northern neighbors. It’s a tough call though. Mexico has more vacation properties and lots of waterfront property. It probably has strategic defense advantages as well. But Canada has bucketfuls of oil. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/28 "2012-01-29T02:41:17Z")
> [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](#): > > Encourage both sides. The US is the weapons supplier to the world. If the war goes on more than a year, we’ll align ourselves with whichever side appears to be winning in return for all territory gained during the war. My guess is that we’d want Mexico’s land more than Canada’s so we’d align with our Northern neighbors. > > It’s a tough call though. Mexico has more vacation properties and lots of waterfront property. It probably has strategic defense advantages as well. But Canada has bucketfuls of oil. We’d probably want Canada’s land more so. They have oil and more white people. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/29 "2012-01-29T04:23:27Z")
> [@CheeseDonkey](#): > > What does the US do? You too are so cute when you try to fight. Now stop it before we show you how it’s done. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/30 "2012-01-29T05:11:25Z")
Wait, what? We’re at war? With _Mexico?!!_ Why doesn’t anyone _tell_ me these things? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/31 "2012-01-29T05:14:42Z")
We’d do what others like us have done before: wait until winter. Our forces are equipped and ready to fight in winter. Are the Mexican forces? Should the Mexicans invade, are they willing to fight in -30C temps? Our forces can, and will. Will the Mexicans continue their fight under those conditions? Our forces can–and will. Winter is our friend. We can work and fight in it–can the Mexicans? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/32 "2012-01-29T05:23:27Z")
But we have to get the Mexicans up here for that strategy to work, don’t we? I’m pretty sure that superhighway going from Canada to Mexico and bypassing all of the US hasn’t been built yet. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/33 "2012-01-29T06:11:10Z")
Oh, no problem. We’ll take advantage of the Ameircans’ political correctness (i.e. avoiding upsetting the Hispanics) to allow them to come and invade. Then winter comes. We win! (Really, can Mexicans play hockey?) As a cite, I’d ask: how many Mexicans come to Canada in winter? ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/34 "2012-01-29T06:22:34Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > Oh, no problem. We’ll take advantage of the Ameircans’ political correctness (i.e. avoiding upsetting the Hispanics) to allow them to come and invade. > > Then winter comes. We win! (Really, can Mexicans play hockey?) > > As a cite, I’d ask: how many Mexicans come to Canada in winter? Lots of Mexicans, like myself have moved to Alaska to get jobs. We are not afraid of a Canadian winter. We can deal with the cold, and the snow is refreshing. You will find us to be a hardy and adventurous people. Maybe you could teach us winter sports- while we are taking our little breaks from the battle. It could be a win-win situation. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/35 "2012-01-29T07:01:36Z")
I like your spirit, **Florez**. Can I extend an olive branch of peace to you, on behalf of our nations? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/36 "2012-01-29T11:16:56Z")
Yes, Cat Whisperer, and I humbly and graciously accept on behalf of la gente de mi raza. ---
**Author:** ![kjckjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@kjckjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjckjc)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/37 "2012-01-29T12:51:06Z")
It’s all about timing. All Mexico has to do is wait until the Bruins win the Cup again this year and Canada will declare war on itself. Again. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/38 "2012-01-29T13:26:14Z")
> [@K364](#): > > The war has already started, and Mexico is winning - they are killing our tourists one at a time. > > Why anyone would travel to that viper’s nest for a vacation baffles me. What’s the percentage of tourists that die in Mexico? What’s the percentage of tourists that die on Italian cruise ships? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/39 "2012-01-30T06:23:04Z")
Yes, but how would Canada deal with Mexico’s secret weapon, Speedy Gonzalez? ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986/40 "2012-01-30T07:01:36Z")
> [@K364](#): > > The war has already started, and Mexico is winning - they are killing our tourists one at a time. > > Why anyone would travel to that viper’s nest for a vacation baffles me. Yes, just made my regular Sunday call home today. They say all is well in our little vipers nest. 🆒 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canada-declares-war-on-mexico/610986.md?page=1)