# Canadian Butt Smuggler - Gold Butt Nuggets **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529 "2016-09-21T20:09:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/1 "2016-09-21T20:09:54Z")
You can’t make this stuff up, $140,000 smuggled out (like $1 million Canadian 🙂 ), found a jar of Vaseline in his locker at work. [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/09/21/royal-canadian-mint-employee-allegedly-smuggled-140000-worth-of-gold-in-his-butt/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/09/21/royal-canadian-mint-employee-allegedly-smuggled-140000-worth-of-gold-in-his-butt/) > [@](#): > > The theft of about $140,000 worth of gold ($180,000 in Canadian dollars) came from within the Royal Canadian Mint, investigators said Tuesday. Leston Lawrence, a 35-year-old employee of the government mint in Ottawa, has been accused of foiling the facility’s high security through a back-end exploit: > > Lawrence smuggled out gold nuggets inside his rectum, prosecutors alleged. > > After a trial that concluded in Ottawa on Tuesday, Lawrence faced “a number of smuggling-for-cash charges, including theft, laundering the proceeds of crime, possession of stolen property and breach of trust,” the Ottawa Citizen reported. Ontario Court of Justice Judge Peter Doody will deliver a decision by Nov. 9. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/2 "2016-09-21T20:14:08Z")
“Ontario Court of Justice Judge Peter Doody…” Ha ha ha! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/3 "2016-09-21T20:22:59Z")
> [@Encinitas](#): > > “Ontario Court of Justice Judge Peter Doody…” > Ha ha ha! I wonder how many lawyers faced contempt charges for greeting him; “Howdy, Doody!” ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/4 "2016-09-21T20:31:04Z")
In this case, Vespasian’s _bon mot_, _ **Pecunia non olet** _ (“money does not stink”), may not be appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Common\_Tater](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/common_tater/32/13846_2.png) [@Common\_Tater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Common_Tater)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/5 "2016-09-21T21:25:53Z")
> [@Duke\_of\_Rat](#): > > You can’t make this stuff up, $140,000 smuggled out … Though presumably, not all at once. They were in the form of 6.7 ounce “pucks”. A bank teller became suspicious after noticing a number of gold sales by a mint employee. What surprised me was that wanding did not discover the contraband, even though he set off metal detectors. Top. Men. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/6 "2016-09-21T21:34:02Z")
_Lawrence faced “a number of smuggling-for-cash charges, including theft, laundering the proceeds of crime, possession of stolen property and breach of trust,”_ That’s not all he breached! ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/7 "2016-09-21T21:35:14Z")
Yeah, that’s 100 ounces at $1400/ounce (not sure what the current price is), so 6.25 lbs of gold or so. I mean he did smuggle out a shitload of gold, an assload even, but over 6 lbs? Nah, not in one load. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/8 "2016-09-21T21:49:00Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > _Lawrence faced “a number of smuggling-for-cash charges, including theft, laundering the proceeds of crime, possession of stolen property and breach of trust,”_ > > That’s not all he breached! Nor all he, uh, laundered, we would hope. “Ewwww… exactly WHERE did you say you found this?” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/9 "2016-09-21T22:12:06Z")
He stole all that gold and he might as well have stuck it up his ass for all the good it did him. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/10 "2016-09-21T23:01:33Z")
According to the documentary South Park, Canadians fart at every opportunity, so he must’ve been found out when his anus was unusually silent. And of course: [ass pennies](https://vimeo.com/108626411) (SFW with headphones on). ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/11 "2016-09-21T23:42:03Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/12 "2016-09-22T00:03:11Z")
The CNN article here: [http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/21/world/mint-employee-may-have-smuggled-gold-rectum-trnd/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/21/world/mint-employee-may-have-smuggled-gold-rectum-trnd/index.html) WAS Briliant! The caption under the picture, and then the article later explaining that the mint wanted to understand exactly how he did it had a security guy replicate the crime! You can’t make up this, er, comedy gold. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/13 "2016-09-22T00:32:22Z")
I was hoping “Canadian Butt Smuggler” would be Chuck Tingle’s new series. ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/14 "2016-09-22T01:16:43Z")
Look, if you guys can’t recognize an obvious devout homage to the Philistinian capture of the ark of the covenant and its subsequent restoration via divine intervention that’s not my problem. Religious persecution! Religious persecution!! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/15 "2016-09-22T03:35:10Z")
There is no connection to our Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, honest. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/16 "2016-09-22T05:17:31Z")
I’m surprised that CNN printed an article written in such a slangy, humorous style, but I like it. Dennis PS, is “slangy” a word? ---
**Author:** ![X.L.Lent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a5b964/32.png) [@X.L.Lent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X.L.Lent)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/17 "2016-09-22T06:43:38Z")
They arrested him for stealing a buttload of gold? ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_N.Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Guy\_N.Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_N.Forest)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/18 "2016-09-22T07:04:10Z")
He had plans for his gold but, they wrecked 'em. Also, he should have used An Album Cover. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/19 "2016-09-22T12:05:14Z")
> [@Common\_Tater](#): > > Though presumably, not all at once. They were in the form of 6.7 ounce “pucks”. A bank teller became suspicious after noticing a number of gold sales by a mint employee. > > What surprised me was that wanding did not discover the contraband, even though he set off metal detectors. Top. Men. This I don’t understand. The security camera footage shows him being wanded after setting off the walkthrough metal detector on his way out of the facility. at airports, people with metal in their bodies (bullets, hip/knee implants, bone screws, etc.) need a note from their doctor to get past security. Surely the handheld metal detector was going off when it was passed over his backside. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2016, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529/20 "2016-09-22T12:45:14Z")
Just be glad he wasn’t smuggling cigarettes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/canadian-butt-smuggler-gold-butt-nuggets/766529.md?page=2)