# Candles are demonic...yes, that's right: CANDLES **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 1, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068 "2004-01-01T04:26:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![\_possum\_stalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/b77776/32.png) [@\_possum\_stalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_possum_stalker)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/61 "2004-01-01T19:19:29Z")
How often do you need to clean Hoodoo out of the filter? ---
**Author:** ![\_possum\_stalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/b77776/32.png) [@\_possum\_stalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_possum_stalker)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/62 "2004-01-01T19:21:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Regarding Wings of Love Flower Mound: Dunno if this makes any difference or not, but Flower Mound is the name of a suburb between Dallas and Ft. Worth, Texas. I have achieved my Flatlander Feat of Ignorance already today, and it’s only 1:30. I rock. ---
**Author:** ![presidebt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c37758/32.png) [@presidebt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/presidebt)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/63 "2004-01-01T19:21:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Earthling \* > \*\*Regarding **Wings of Love Flower Mound** : Dunno if this makes any difference or not, but [Flower Mound](http://tinyurl.com/3xc7q) is the name of a suburb between Dallas and Ft. Worth, Texas. \*\* Nope, I can’t say it’s making much difference here. I’m still imagining a little logo of a surprisingly vagina-like rose sprouting wings, and an accompanying ad for whores with “Jesus Saves” tattooed on their asses. I am twisted and irreverent that way, though… ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/64 "2004-01-01T19:40:45Z")
bolding mine: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by presidebt_ > Hi again! If your daughter lives with you, you need to be doing Deliverance more often. > Here is the name of a Deliverance minister in Dallas - > **Norine** Mccloud If I was named after this woman, the demons have _already won!_ ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/65 "2004-01-01T19:43:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*You have a scanner at the door or something? \*\* Don’t you? You’re supposed to scan the microchip in your visitors’ foreheads. Doesn’t work if they have the tinfoil hat though. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/66 "2004-01-01T20:12:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eats\_Crayons \* > \*\*Don’t you? You’re supposed to scan the microchip in your visitors’ foreheads. > \*\* OMG :eek: The mark of the beast! Now none of the diabetics can buy insulin, and will have to rely on Deliverancing out their Demons. [http://www.demonbuster.com/diabetic.html](http://www.demonbuster.com/diabetic.html) > [@](#): > > _From the article_ > Some of you sitting here now are suffering under the bondage of DIABETIC spirits. The Lord willing, this afternoon, we are going to expose these evil spirits during this lesson. Remember that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the DELIVERANCE business and it is His desire that you be free from the bondage of DIABETIC spirits. I want to establish from the very onset that I’m not advising you to set aside your medication or to cease taking insulin or any other **prescription that the witchdoctor has prescribed for you** , but I am saying to you that in this dispensation of the church in the spiritual warfare that we are all involved in and the state that the world is in today, we are going to have to re-evaluate some of the things we are bound to for existence and start sincerely seeking the Lord Jesus Christ for a solution to some of the evil calamities that is tormenting your body that the **physician is not going to be able to help you with.** I think this may be the part that makes me physically ill. The fact that some poor, ill person out their would believe that you can command Diabetes to leave your body- Just tell the squid demon to leave and you’ll never have Diabetes again! Your physician is a witchdoctor! Modern Medicine is eeeeeevil! They can’t really help you! Or you could maybe…like…die, stupid.:smack: Speaking as a member of a family with a history of diabetes: Please see your doctor, please take your medication, please watch your diet. Diabetes is a disease, not a demon. If you listen to fucking loonies like this, you will get sicker and possibly die. The only evil thing I can see in that site are the creators of it because it’s entirely possible that they may do actual harm to someone. FB ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/67 "2004-01-01T20:13:54Z")
[quote] Know this - EVERYONE has demons, ESPECIALLY CHRISTIANS. There is no Scripture that says this. It is just a matter of FACT. There is no Scripture that says you do NOT have demons.[/qupte] Er, wow. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/68 "2004-01-01T20:17:24Z")
Of course, there’s no Scripture that says you do not have tiny blond faeries that look like Marilyn Monroe with a pixie cut living in your left ear, either. Clap, everybody! Clap! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/69 "2004-01-01T21:04:13Z")
[This one on SIDS is a hoot!](http://www.demonbuster.com/sid.html). Yeah, I know, SIDS isn’t funny. But lullabys are DEMONIC, PEOPLE! LOL **geewhiz** , calm the fuck down. I’m laughing at these people because they’re NUTJOBS. They just happen to be Christian nutjobs, that’s all. I’d say the same thing if they were Buddhist or Pagan or Jewish. They’re just crazies. I think I’m a demon-that song is starting to really get to me-and I can still hear it, even though I have my headphones plugged into my speakers-and they’re sitting about a foot or so away from me! AAAHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/70 "2004-01-01T21:12:37Z")
If you think that you have demons, whack your glans [Whack! Whack!] If you think that you have demons, whack your glans [Whack! Whack!] If you think they’re in your semen, and you want the world to see them, if you think that you have demons, whack your glans ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/71 "2004-01-01T21:15:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*[J]ust a feeling of evil. > > No form. > > \*\* I was hoping for something a bit more er…melodramatic? 😉 Thanks all the same. ---
**Author:** ![county](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ce7236/32.png) [@county](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/county)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/72 "2004-01-01T21:43:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by geewhiz \* > \*\*I hate the fact that the normal Christians have to explain the weird people out there. > > But if they want to believe weird stuff, then let them make themselves miserable. I have tried to deal with people like this, next to impossible. They won’t listen. So just let them be… \*\* I would think that this is how “normal” conservatives feel. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/73 "2004-01-01T22:09:16Z")
Another Christian checks in … At least – _ **at least** _ – this person blames everything on demons and evil spirits, not on the sinfullness of homosexuals or feminists or Democrats or whatnot. I see severe looniness, an utterly unchecked imagination, and possibly even a shade of idolatry in this person’s demon obsession – but what I don’t see is malice and hate. Thank God. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/74 "2004-01-01T23:26:50Z")
You have a point, **masonite**. But can you imagine growing up as one of his children? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/75 "2004-01-02T00:43:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*If you think that you have demons, whack your glans > > [Whack! Whack!] > > If you think that you have demons, whack your glans > > [Whack! Whack!] > > If you think they’re in your semen, and you want the world to see them, if you think that you have demons, whack your glans \*\* :eek: You are weird I like that in a guy ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/76 "2004-01-02T03:10:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \* > \*\*You have a point, **masonite**. But can you imagine growing up as one of his children? :eek: \*\* Ugh…no toys, no music, no nothing. Can’t even have a freaking teddy bear!!! ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/77 "2004-01-02T03:34:59Z")
Whaddaya mean, no music? You’ve got “Nearer My God To Thee” in looped MIDI format; it’s a lovely tune and demons can’t stand it! Plus if you don’t like the tune, that means you’ve got demons. But don’t feel bad, absolutely everybody has a few. They’re like those little microscopic bugs that live in everybody’s eyelashes, nothing to be ashamed about. (Now I’m just picturing the AOL mail voice saying “You’ve got demons!”) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/78 "2004-01-02T03:36:13Z")
Ah…now I understand. The _Titanic_ band was trying to exorcise the demons of sinking! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/79 "2004-01-02T03:39:40Z")
Hey, the Deliverer’s children _did_ get an outing to a games arcade with Daddy: > [@](#): > > I was in a PLAYPLEX this weekend with my children. I entered a LAZER ZONE room which was pitch black and filled with BLACK LIGHT. The SOUND in the room was VIOLENT and HARASSING. God immediately told me to “get out of there”. My legs were trembling when I left that LAZER ZONE. I prayed quickly and the Lord told me “MALEDRONE”. I stayed in the PLAYPLEX arcade (not the LAZER ZONE) for another hour with my children and began to get a TERRIBLE HEADACHE. I was speaking in tongues the entire time. When I got home I looked in the dictionary for some meaning to MALEDRONE. As I scanned the pages and didn’t see MALEDRONE, I felt led to this word- “Malediction” which is a prayer to befall to hurt someone, a CURSE… and then I looked up, “Drone” which is a low humming or a pilotless plane or ship controlled by radio signals. I believe the Lord was telling me that in this PLAYPLEX, I literally was being CURSED and it was coming through in a subconscious hum of some sort." Oh, the horror! :rolleyes: I wonder why they don’t consider the Internet a demon portal? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/80 "2004-01-02T03:46:20Z")
[CLOTH IS EEEEEEVIL!](http://www.demonbuster.com/paisley.html) From the site: > [@](#): > > PAISLEY PRINT - BURN IT - DON’T WEAR IT > > [snip] > > In DELIVERANCE, you stay away from many things because of the ORIGIN. In the PAISLEY PRINT PATTERN, you have a connection with > CATHOLICS > THE COUNTRY OF INDIA (WITH ALL THEIR GODS) > GOAT HAIR (GOAT IS THE SYMBOL FOR THE DEVIL) > MUSLIMS > PRAYER RUGS > JESUITS > CULTS > SEERS > MAGICIANS > OCCULT The site is better than Time Cube, I tell you! Demons wany you to wet the bed! > [@](#): > > "Well my baby boy has been difficult to potty-train. He is past the age that he should be trained and I was getting really tired of it. I would sit him in the toilet for a long time and nothing would happen. When I would put him back in diapers, he would go! And I was sick and tired of it. So I got really mad, sat him in the potty and told him he had to “go”. The baby started screaming and I got the idea that it was a demon. So I commanded it to manifest and give me his name. The baby continued screaming and saying: “You can’t make me, you can’t make me”. I insisted in the demon telling me his name, so the Holy Spirit said: “That’s his name, “you can’t make me”. I commanded it out. The baby had deliverance and he has been potty-trained since.” > > Praise the Lord! Finally, evidence that MICROSOFT IS EEEEEEVL! > [@](#): > > Here is an incoming email received February 9, 2001: “Hi, Just thought I’d let you know it took me all these hours to run off your complete deliverance manual. My computer kept shutting down, the connection to the internet kept shutting off, I got signs coming up this is an illegal action, you probably have heard all this before, but the devil sure didn’t want me to get hold of your material…I thought there has to be some good stuff in here if the devil is this mad…as soon as I finished running if off, my computer is working perfect…not shutting down,…not getting unconnected. Praise Jesus, He’s stronger than any devil. I had to keep taking authority over devils to get the manual printed, even the printer tried to jam up. What a praise report…really. Devil you loose!!!Praise the Lord. Thank you for your web site. Blessings” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068.md?page=5)