# Candles are demonic...yes, that's right: CANDLES **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 1, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068 "2004-01-01T04:26:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/81 "2004-01-02T04:11:47Z")
You know, we’re laughing about all this, but I can’t help feeling very, very bad for these Deliverance ministry people. Their entire world is ruled by supernatural bad guys. Demons cause problems in potty-training. Demons cause computer glitches. Demons cause car trouble. Demons cause the flu. Paisley is evil. Teddy bears are evil. Games are evil. Music written after 1915 is evil. Every time these people turn around, they see a demon. Every time they hear a song, they hear a demon. Every time they smell Chinese food, they smell a demon (because the Chinese are pagans, you know). It has to be a very narrow, limited, frightening life. Hemmed in on all sides by darkness, demons, and evil. Convinced that you’re fighting a constant all-fronts war with Satan. It’s sad, really. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/82 "2004-01-02T04:16:46Z")
There was this book I got from the library. I think it was by a David Allen Lewis. He said the peace symbol was evil. ---
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/83 "2004-01-02T04:24:25Z")
This is GREAT! I haven’t seen such nutballs in years! [Car shopping and Deliverance](http://www.demonbuster.com/car.html) > [@](#): > > …there is no need to search for a newer model. You don’t have to trade in your old model, just get it overhauled with a brand new DELIVERANCE engine. Damn! And all those years I had been using Techron in my engine. All I needed was liquid lord. > [@](#): > > Is speeding a sin? - YES, and sin cannot get into Heaven. Alright!!! I’m screwed anyways, time to wreak some havoc. > [@](#): > > How do I know when the demons are gone? You no longer have the problem. - Updated: July 13, 2001 What was the pre-update answer??? And even the same “I don’t see a purdy white plane in the charred wreckage of the pentagon” conspiracy [Bullshit](http://www.demonbuster.com/talkradio.html) But this is a new one for me, a Military F-16 under remote control to pretent to be AA Flight-11: > [@](#): > > The military jet takes off under remote control and (after intercepting the flight path of AA Flight 11 to deceive the radar operators) approaches the North Tower at 8:45 a.m., fires missiles into it then crashes into it, detonating explosives already planted in the building. (George W. Bush watches the impact on a private transmission to the TV in his limousine while travelling to a school in Florida.) Wow! I must have missed the F-16 firing rockets at the WTC. Oh yeah, I was distracted by the PASSENGER JET hitting it. Oh, and Israel and a 1920’s style Death Ray were used to finish the job [🙂](http://www.serendipity.li/wot/bollyn1.htm) Unless you believe the other story of “Nucelar bombs in the basement” (Since the debris was hot from the fire that raged for days lol) BTW, whoever said this guy didn’t teach hate/racism, read the Vietnam page blaming all the Buddists with their VooDoo for the mental scars of the American Vetrans. Gee, maybe I should give that article to my Vetran Friend… Take Care Y’all\* -Blasphmer, Passenger on the SDMB Highway to Hell \*Take care is also a no-no phrase ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/84 "2004-01-02T04:42:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Why does everyone seem to pull the weird stuff about Christianity out of the woodwork. Everyone understands that this is not in anyway mainstream stuff right? Others have answered, but please substitute “gays”, “atheists”, “D&D players” or just about any other group for Christianity in that statement. As an atheist and a D&D game player, I cringe when people look at an extremist and think that the extreme is the norm. Think of this as a learning experience for you. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/85 "2004-01-02T04:43:47Z")
Yep, JayJay, one reaches a point at which this stuff becomes as classy as laughing at the freaks in the carnival. My family had always known of vague rumours that my recently deceased grandmother had an exceedingly distressing childhood. We always knew that she ran away from home as soon as she was old enough to do so and was thereafter brought up by her aunt, but no one really knew why, for a long time. Only in her 90’s was my grandmother able to bring herself to talk about the things that were done to her by her mother in the name of religion. The precise details are even now only known to my aunts. I understand that being beaten to within an inch of her life on many occasions (to “drive the demons out”, of course) was one of the less unsavoury things inflicted on her. Yep, my great grandmother. Her nutty religious views were a hoot, I’ll bet. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/86 "2004-01-02T04:46:37Z")
Well, doncha know, **vanilla** , peace is evil-see because we should be out there fightin’ for da LORD! 😛 **jayjay** , so very, very true. ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/87 "2004-01-02T05:49:23Z")
To do true honor to these pages I have just taken my DIABETIC SPIRITS to the mall where I bought 36 CANDLES and a PAISLEY scarf. I then had the medicine prescribed by my WITCHDOCTOR/physician (for those pesky diabetic spirits) and some ASIAN FOOD (miso soup). See you in hell. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/88 "2004-01-02T06:09:32Z")
I have a Mr. T Celebriduck and a Bobblehead Jesus sitting by me. I must have some fucked up demons. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/89 "2004-01-02T06:10:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*:eek: You are weird > I like that in a guy \*\* I have a demon. And four wives. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/90 "2004-01-02T06:11:05Z")
Ironically enough, that was post 4666 for me. REPENT YE SINNERS! Aw, damn, now I messed up my demonic post count. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/91 "2004-01-02T06:14:28Z")
_All_ post counts are demonic. Boola boola Booola Woogie whazza wee!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![eli\_the\_fanatic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ccd318/32.png) [@eli\_the\_fanatic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eli_the_fanatic)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/92 "2004-01-02T06:34:39Z")
I couldn’t even look at the site, because it said “No Demons Allowed.” Dern. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/93 "2004-01-02T07:27:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eli\_the\_fanatic \* > \*\*I couldn’t even look at the site, because it said “No Demons Allowed.” Dern. \*\* But a REAL demon would’ve kept on anyway! Because they’re supernaughty! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/94 "2004-01-02T07:53:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*But a REAL demon would’ve kept on anyway! Because they’re supernaughty! \*\* Well, _I_ took notes as to how I could become more evil. I’m always looking for ways to become more demonic. I need some throw pillows in here, I think I’ll get some PAISLEY ones. Eh, maybe not. I’ve already got some PAISLEY print curtains in here, and the patterns would probably clash. I guess I’ll have to make do with an owl print. ---
**Author:** ![IWLN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@IWLN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IWLN)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/95 "2004-01-02T08:19:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > \*\*Well, _I_ took notes as to how I could become more evil. I’m always looking for ways to become more demonic. > > I need some throw pillows in here, I think I’ll get some PAISLEY ones. Eh, maybe not. I’ve already got some PAISLEY print curtains in here, and the patterns would probably clash. I guess I’ll have to make do with an owl print. \*\* I’m glad you chose the owl. Unicorns don’t have near the power they used to. It seems someone started a story about them being pink. Took most of their evil power away. Some of us girls are going to get tatoos on Saturday. The have a lovely new black frogowl now. You in? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/96 "2004-01-02T08:54:40Z")
No tattoos for me, thanks. I’m diabetic and I take insulin shots twice daily, plus I check my blood sugar (not as often as I’m SUPPOSED to, but still I take it) so I think that I have enough needlemania going on. Heh. Oh yes, I gave out erasers in the shape of frogs last Halloween. I think I should get DOUBLE points for that. Someone needs to make up a point system based on this website, and post it in MPSIMS. Or possibly in IMHO, where everyone could compare demonic possession percentages. ---
**Author:** ![IWLN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@IWLN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IWLN)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/97 "2004-01-02T09:16:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni \* > No tattoos for me, thanks. I’m diabetic and I take insulin shots twice daily, plus I check my blood sugar (not as often as I’m SUPPOSED to, but still I take it) so I think that I have enough needlemania going on. They use needles for tatoos!!! I only remember the 8 or 9 Long Island Ice Teas? Hmmm…I am impressed by your Halloween treats. I may still have you beat though. I recently rejected a life time of Christianity and have been told by “those that know” that I have “deceiving spirits”. I think that easily beats some crummy disease.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/98 "2004-01-02T10:39:31Z")
You know, I think my church may be in _real_ trouble here. You see, it’s built along the lines of a cathedral and on Christmas Eve and again the following Sunday, it was filled with candles, as in over 100, all lit. Then again, the Episcopal Church has a lot of rituals and customs involving lighting candles, especially at particularly sacred times such as Advent and Easter, not to mention at Baptisms. Then there are the candles on the altar which are to be lit before the service and put out during it. Yep, that’s my good, old Episcopal Church – demon-haunted and doomed and damned by some of the most -erm- interesting Christians in the world! :rolleyes: CJ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/99 "2004-01-02T12:42:41Z")
> [@](#): > > SOME OBJECTS TO DESTROY: (See Lev. 11:13-21 and Deut. 14:7-19) > > Some accursed objects are: owls, frogs, unicorns, horseshoes; items from other countries such as Africa, **China** , Japan… They must have to be really, _really_ careful when they shop at Wal-Mart! …waitaminute! Do you think Wallyworld is really a demonic conspiracy? :eek: Makes sense to me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2004, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/100 "2004-01-02T13:38:35Z")
You realize, of course, that the Straight Dope Message Board is itself demonic? Just rife, infested, and overrun with demons? :eek: Given that irrefutable premise, then what would that make our Admin, **Lynn**? The Adminotorious Antichrist? The Administress of Eldritch Evil? :dubious: I wonder… are poinsettias signs of Satan in our midst? And if the devil’s in the details, then shouldn’t we generalize the hell out of our lives? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068.md?page=6)